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Tag: wellness

Leaving a legacy of wellness

Leaving a legacy of wellness

Vancouver Talmud Torah students in the new Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre. (photo from VTT)

“It was a dream that came true,” said Jeffrey Barnett of the new Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre at Vancouver Talmud Torah.

The centre, named in honour of his late wife, was dedicated last November.

“As a graduate of Vancouver Talmud Torah and as a teacher of over 30 years, and also being a child psychologist, she knew the value of supporting kids in a Jewish environment,” said Barnett of Hildy, who died April 25, 2024. She and Jeffrey were married 47 years; they have two children and four grandchildren.

Hildy Barnett specialized in education for children with special needs. She worked with the Vancouver School Board for three decades and, after retiring, continued to work with children and teens in various capacities. She volunteered at Canuck Place and with the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver, among other things. She helped start Jewish Family Services Vancouver’s Innovators Lunch, with friends Naomi Gropper Steiner, z”l, and Kristina Berman.

Shortly before Hildy Barnett passed away, she and Jeffrey made the decision to fund the wellness centre at VTT. Hildy had asked Shirley Barnett, who had a relationship, via her sons, with Shane Foxman, associate director of development at VTT, to inquire about legacy opportunities at the school. Foxman connected Shirley with Emily Greenberg, VTT head of school.

“When Shirley first told me about Hildy, I asked her to tell me a bit more about what she did, her passions, her career,” Greenberg told the Independent. “It became almost immediately clear that she should be part of realizing the vision for the wellness centre. As her health diminished rapidly, Shirley came to the school and I told her to film me speaking about my vision for the space, the children it would serve and the reason we needed to create such a space for our students. I knew what I wanted it to look like, but I wanted to paint that picture for her. I remember, when we stopped recording, I had goosebumps because I could feel how special this room was going to become.

“We hurriedly sent the recording over to Hildy’s daughter, Mira, to show her in her hospital bed,” continued Greenberg. “I remember Shirley got a text back from her within a few minutes. She said that it was exactly what she had hoped for. Hildy, unfortunately, passed away just a couple hours later, but I have always been so grateful that she knew about the wellness centre before she left this world. I think this has made this work even more sentimental. We really wanted to get every detail right.”

photo - Before she died last April, Hildy Barnett, with her husband Jeffrey, decided to fund the building of a wellness centre at Vancouver Talmud Torah, which has been named in her honour
Before she died last April, Hildy Barnett, with her husband Jeffrey, decided to fund the building of a wellness centre at Vancouver Talmud Torah, which has been named in her honour. (photo by Alexandre D. Legere)

A VTT newsletter leading up to the centre’s November dedication noted, “Approximately 20% of our students require some form of extra assistance to fully engage in the curriculum and to meet their full potential…. Over the last several years, we have completed a landscape study to understand best practices for supporting students with learning needs and have implemented several new layers of services to help create unique learning pathways.”

The study comprised a review of what many other schools are doing for student support services, said Greenberg. “There were many takeaways,” she said, “but one of them was that the spaces we create can really enable the programming and support we want to offer. The wellness centre has catapulted our counselors from being in a windowless, uninspiring, tiny office to in a centre that exudes safety, support, belonging and comfort.”

Over the past five years, VTT has gone from having a half-time counselor to two full-time counselors: Donna Cantor and Shakaed Greif. The two are both experienced counselors who are helping “to better support our students, parents and, sometimes, staff, as they navigate the many pressures and challenges of life, especially in a post-Oct. 7 world,” said Greenberg.

The counseling team “has been imperative in helping our many new Israeli students settle into life at VTT. They also run many support groups, including our Free to Be Me club, Chesed club and more,” she said.

The Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre allows Cantor and Greif to have their own offices, as well as a shared space for working with small groups and families.

“When I look back, in a very quiet way, Hildy did what she loved and, having the facility at TT is the ultimate,” Jeffrey Barnett told the Independent. “It brought smiles to her face. She knew that she wasn’t going to be around. She knew that the legacy she was doing would benefit so many youngsters, including the fact that our own grandchildren would be at the school, and that not only this generation but future generations [would be helped]. And it made me feel good that she felt good. It’s still very sad, very touching, and we miss her a great amount.”

Barnett spoke of Hildy’s approach to education, which was based on the methods of the late Dr. Reuven Feuerstein, with whom Hildy Barnett had studied.

Feuerstein was a psychologist from Romania, who trained with the Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky, explained Charlene Goldstein, who, with Hildy Barnett, years ago established with the Vancouver School Board a learning centre for speech language pathologists, teachers, counselors and others, which has since faded away. Goldstein is a registered psychologist in the neonatal follow-up program at BC Women’s Hospital and Health Centre; she also has a private practice.

“Reuven came to Israel right after the Holocaust and he began to work with children from the Holocaust, as he did with children from Ethiopia,” Goldstein told the Independent. “And what he saw was that these children only lived in the present, that they had limited memories of the past and very few [visions] of the future, and that was because, to protect them, their parents didn’t want them to know too much, plus they had a lot of losses. So, he had a group of volunteers together who would sit by the beds of these children, so if they had nightmares, they would calm them.

“Then, he began to notice that some people were saying that these children were incapable of learning, that type of thing,” she continued. “But what Reuven and Vygotsky believed in [is that] you can have direct learning, where, let’s say I’m a child and I’m looking at putting some blocks together and I figure it out and nobody has to tell me what to do. Or, you could have mediated learning, which is, someone is between the child and the activity helping them to learn what to do. 

“So Reuven, and I still do this now – when a child says to me, I can’t do this, I say, well, what do you already know here? What do you already recognize? What about this is new? And I start asking questions about things. So, what do you call this? Oh, my goodness, look at all of these things that you already know. Reuven would also say to teachers, think of the child, and his logo was ‘just a minute … let me think.’ Because he believed, as I do, that everybody has the potential to think, everyone has the potential to learn. We may not all learn everything the same, but we have potential to learn. And that everyone has potential to give back to society.”

Part of the funds raised by the Hadassah Bazaars – which Hildy’s mother, Marjorie Groberman, helped start here and in other places across Canada – were sent to Israel to support Feuerstein with his work, said Jeffrey Barnett.

Groberman, who was “Mrs. Hadassah-WIZO for many years,” had heard Feuerstein speak at a Hadassah convention, said Goldstein. He was brought to Vancouver by Hadassah-WIZO and Variety Clubs International, with which Jeffrey Barnett was involved, she said.

Feuerstein came back to Vancouver many times, said Goldstein. When here, he trained many educators, including those who worked with Indigenous children.

“Some of the children would think he was Santa Claus and would call him that because he had a long, white beard and his beret,” said Goldstein.

Among the people in Feuerstein’s sphere was Dr. Lorna Wanosts’a7 Williams, an expert in Indigenous language revitalization and education. Williams met Goldstein and Barnett in the mid-1980s, when she was hired by the Vancouver School Board as a specialist in First Nations education.

“I was looking at Reuven’s work because of his ideas around what happens with children when they get separated from the knowledge, from their parents,” Williams told the Independent. (People wanting to know more about this aspect of Williams’s work should watch the 1994 National Film Board of Canada documentary The Mind of a Child.)

Williams said Hildy Barnett was focused on “supporting all children to learn and enable them to overcome all their trauma. She just was so dedicated to that kind of work.” 

Barnett knew how to move things along, said Williams. “She was able to bring people together in such a beautiful way.”

She added, “I really honour her for all the help she gave me and that she gave many other people. She was very quiet but she was very strong.”

Goldstein, who knew Barnett from having grown up in the local Jewish community, before they connected more in Hadassah-WIZO and with Feuerstein’s work, echoed Williams’s observation.

“Hildy had the most gentle voice, she had a great sense of humour, but she had strong determination,” said Goldstein. “In Star Trek, there’s one person who says, ‘Make it so,’ and that’s what Hildy was like. She would say, ‘Make it so,’ and you just didn’t say no to Hildy because Hildy listened to everybody and had such compassion, such compassion.”

photo - Rabbi Philip Bregman, at back, and Jeffrey Barnett, middle, hang the mezuzah at the door of the Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre, along with Barnett’s daughter, Mira, and son, Joel, who is holding one of Barnett’s grandchildren, Blake
Rabbi Philip Bregman, at back, and Jeffrey Barnett, middle, hang the mezuzah at the door of the Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre, along with Barnett’s daughter, Mira, and son, Joel, who is holding one of Barnett’s grandchildren, Blake. (photo from VTT)

The Nov. 24, 2024, dedication ceremony of the Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre was originally envisioned as a small family gathering to honour Barnett’s legacy, said VTT’s Greenberg. “But, to our delight, she was so beloved in the community that many more people attended.

“I think it was an opportunity for many people to pay their respects to her powerful legacy of believing in children, and the Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre has become a healing place in so many ways, including for those who are grieving Hildy’s loss.” 

Format ImagePosted on February 28, 2025February 27, 2025Author Cynthia RamsayCategories LocalTags health, Hildy Barnett, Jeffrey Barnett, mental health, Vancouver Talmud Torah, VTT, wellness

Mental wellness focus

For Jews everywhere, including here in British Columbia, recent weeks have been among the most painful in most of our living memories. Not only are we in deep grief from the events of Oct. 7 and in fear for the well-being of the 240 hostages and those we know who are serving in the Israeli army, many feel abandoned by some of our erstwhile friends, whose silence has been deafening, or whose confident utterances, lacking compassion or knowledge, have been galling.

We have been stunned at not just the moral equivocation between Israeli military actions and the deliberate atrocities perpetrated by Hamas, but by the implicit and explicit celebration of those atrocities by people locally and worldwide. Many of us are struggling to reconcile the critical need to end the reign of Hamas, whose main mission is to kill all Jews, with the losses of thousands of innocent lives in Gaza. We have few safe spaces to share our grief, frustration, confusion, to discuss what possibilities might exist for a better future not only for Israelis and Palestinians, but for all of us who are facing the incredible amount of antisemitism that has, apparently, been waiting for an excuse to be unleashed.

Every day, there is news coverage or social media comments that jerk us into another paroxysm of shock and disgust, be it the insensitive, lopsided remarks by a political leader or the online rantings of antisemites and terror supporters. Faced with this deluge, it is understandable to want to commiserate with like-minded people. In our experience, there has been a vast amount of sharing on email, social media and WhatsApp groups of the most atrocious and often grisly imagery, posts and ideas. For our own sake, and the well-being of those we care about, let’s stop doing this.

It’s time to recognize and correct habits that harm our mental wellness and that of those around us. Avoiding the darkness of feeling alone at times like these is one of the most important pieces of advice, as each of us struggles individually with assimilating the new world we inhabit.

The Vancouver community came together on Nov. 7 to mark 30 days since the brutal murder of more than 1,200 Israelis, mostly Jews, including a local young man and other Canadians, and the kidnapping of 240 others. Weekly vigils are continuing – and attendance is not waning, presumably because hundreds of people feel the necessity to unite in shared pain and for the inherent strength of community. Attending a rally or vigil is one way to harness the social support that is so important in times of struggle.

There are other steps that many of us could take to heart.

It’s important, of course, to remain aware, to be engaged citizens and activists, to be informed of current events. But there is a line between being informed and being unable to look away. We need to recognize the limitations and consequences of consuming endless amounts of information. It is neither necessary nor healthy to ensure that we – and everyone around us – are aware of every single outrage each and every day. Set aside time to review the news, but do not hit “refresh” repeatedly. Set a timer, if you think it would be useful. Stay accountable to yourself or ask someone who cares about you to remind you to set down the phone or remote. And be that person for your loved ones, when asked to assist them in being less fixated on the news. A crucial antidote to hopelessness is action. Be involved, for sure, but forwarding distressing emails to people who share your views (or not) is likely not constructive involvement.

Likewise, social media. Contesting and correcting false and hateful information on social media can feel important, but we need to put our abilities in perspective. The impacts that an individual can have on social media are a tiny ripple in the ocean, while the impact that social media can have on an individual is like a tsunami. Being bombarded by messages that remind us that there are many in the world who hold despicable views or are gleeful at the destruction of Israel and/or the Jewish people predictably impacts our emotional, psychological and spiritual wellness. If you are tempted to share horrendous posts with family and friends, consider what is to be gained by doing so.

Also, let’s pick our fights. We have plenty to be concerned about close to home. We do not need an incessant barrage of calls to sign petitions against things that are happening at universities in another country, or in response to offensive comments by never-before-heard-of activist groups or D-list celebrities. If we want to have an impact and have the internal resources for the fight, devote those resources to where they are going to have the most impact. Get involved with organizations doing work you believe in, join the many events taking place, both addressing the issues at hand, but also just finding comfort and strength in such things as the social and cultural events offered by our community, which allow us to come together without being completely gripped by fear and despair.

On an individual level, take time for quiet contemplation. Take a walk around the neighbourhood or in the park without headphones. Consider what your deeply held values are and find strength in that foundation. Stay open to hope, to possibilities not yet discovered and to finding paths to more compassion for yourself, for your loved ones, for your community and for those who are different from you or hold views that challenge your own. Do not exclusively dwell on the tragedies of the past and present, but spend time and effort to envision a future that is better for Israelis, Palestinians and all peoples – and how your values and actions today can hasten that better world. This, at root, is the heart of what it means to be Jewish. It is, perhaps, the only path through this pain.

Posted on November 24, 2023November 23, 2023Author The Editorial BoardCategories From the JITags Israel-Hamas war, mental health, wellness
Get ready to laugh it up

Get ready to laugh it up

Carol Ann Fried as herself, and as Groucho Marx. Fried presents the program Laughing Matters at the May 28 Jewish Seniors Alliance Spring Forum. (photos from Carol Ann Fried)

Carol Ann Fried helps people find their “joy spot.” When she brings her interactive presentation to the Jewish Seniors Alliance Spring Forum May 28, she promises: “My goal is it’s going to be the most fun meeting they’ve ever attended.”

Fried is a Halifax-raised, Montreal-educated, Vancouver woman whose Friedom Training and Coaching Services include keynote speeches, workshops and meeting facilitation. She is also chief executive officer of Playfair Canada, which offers noncompetitive adult play experiences, especially to first-year students on Canadian campuses.

The joy spot is found in many ways, but it always involves connecting people with one another, she told the Independent.

“I do it by getting people to interact in creative and fun ways, toward some kind of end, if it’s a theme or team-building or fun at work or fun at home,” she said. “This can happen in various ways, but the way I do it is to get people up moving, usually, interacting with each other, talking with each other, doing some kind of activity.”

Typically, she does this with businesses, organizations and teams. In her program with the Jewish Seniors Alliance, laughter will be a core objective.

While members of the JSA may be longtime friends or acquaintances, Fried promises that, by attending her program, “They are going to get to know each other in new ways. They are going to make new connections, they are going to laugh. There will be laughter.”

After growing up in Halifax and studying at Dalhousie University, Fried got a master’s degree in counseling at McGill University in Montreal and eventually made her way west. She has served on the board of Or Shalom synagogue and is currently the chair of the membership committee.

If she has one piece of advice for people – attending her program or not – it is “Be courageous.”

That can mean something as simple as being willing to play.

“In our world, people somehow have the idea that play is for children and that we have to get serious when we get taller,” Fried said. “The idea of it is pooh-poohed by a lot of people. But my work is about getting them to do it before I tell them what they’re going to do.”

In corporate settings, she calls this “Managing to have fun.”

“I love jazzing up meetings,” she said.

Fried also has an affinity for doing programs with food.

“You can do a lot of things around food – Jewish people and food,” she said. “You can have a bag and in the bag are a variety of implements that are anything but cutlery. One of them could be the egg beater, the carrot peeler, a salt spoon, the things that you find in that drawer where you throw everything. People pull a ribbon and they have to eat their whole meal with that one thing. There are no forks, knives or spoons in there. It’s super-fun and it would be great for one of these family meals where you’re worried about how people are going to get along.”

Another idea is a “backwards meal” – spoiler alert: it’s eating dessert first.

“I really believe that shared laughter and play are essential to a healthy lifestyle,” said Fried. “When we are playful, all sorts of good things happen in our body, all those horrible hormones decrease and all the good ones increase. It affects morale, it affects creativity, all very positively. They’re going to experience each other in different ways than they otherwise would or that they are used to or that they have at other times.”

JSA’s Spring Forum takes place May 28, 2 p.m., at the Peretz Centre. Fried’s program is titled Laughing Matters. Call 604-732-1555 or email office@jsalliance.org for more information.

Format ImagePosted on May 12, 2023May 11, 2023Author Pat JohnsonCategories Performing ArtsTags Carol Ann Fried, healthcare, Jewish Seniors Alliance, JSA, mental health, seniors, wellness
The power of breath

The power of breath

Yoga therapist and teacher Tianne Allan (photo from yogatianne.com)

Don’t hold your breath. Breath is life, and each breath we take optimizes our health. This is what I learned at Jewish Seniors Alliance’s third empowerment session – Discover the Power of Your Breath – which was held on May 4.

Gyda Chud, co-president of JSA, welcomed the 75 Zoom participants, explaining that the overarching theme for the empowerment series is “Be Inspired.”

Fran Goldberg introduced the speaker – yoga therapist and teacher Tianne Allan, who was involved for two decades in the world of aquatics and high-performance athletics. After a car accident, her yoga practice became her pathway to healing, both physically and emotionally. She now specializes in pain care and in the treatment of anxiety and insomnia.

Allan guided the group in movement – breathing while opening the arms and bringing them back to the chest. She explained that the foundation of our breath is comprised of three steps:

1. Sit up straight and breathe through your nose.
2. Low and slow, take a breath down into your belly.
3. Smooth and steady, inhale and exhale.

Other types of breathing are the relaxation breath, where you sit back, relax and exhale with a sound; and the humming breath, to relieve anxiety, where you inhale through the nose and exhale through a hum.

Correct breathing can also help ease pain, Allan explained. And it can help us sleep better. The sleep exercise involved imagining ourselves looking through the ceiling to the blue sky and letting the sun fill our bodies with warmth. This exercise actually lulled some of us to sleep.

Shanie Levin thanked Allan for getting us involved in using our bodies and minds, and reminded the audience of the JSA’s next Empowerment Series session, on June 28, featuring Libby Yu, a classical pianist.

For more information on Allan, see yogatianne.com.

Tamara Frankel is a member of the board of Jewish Seniors Alliance and of the editorial committee of Senior Line magazine. She is also a board member of the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver.

Format ImagePosted on May 28, 2021May 27, 2021Author Tamara FrankelCategories LocalTags breathing exercises, Empowerment Series, healthcare, Jewish Seniors Alliance, JSA, seniors, Tianne Allan, wellness, yoga
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