Tag: URJ

Meet at camp, get married?

Dan and Jen Silber met at Camp Moshava. (photo from Silber family via jns.org)

Eighteen-year-old Bernie Kozlovsky spent from sundown to sunrise on a boat with 16-year-old Sonia Rosenbaum in the summer of 1972.

“We talked until dawn,” Kozlovsky recalls about that summer at the Orthodox Jewish NCSY overnight camp in northeastern Maryland. Kozlovsky worked in the camp kitchen. Rosenbaum was a camper. From that summer forward, neither dated another individual. Forty-three years later – including 39 years of marriage, six children and seven grandchildren – Kozlovsky attributes his successful relationship to the spark that formed during his summertime experience.

Not much has changed.

Today, the (camp) fire is still burning at Jewish summer camp. Dating and marriage are byproducts of summers spent banging on the table during Birkat Hamazon (Grace after Meals), engaging in loud and intense games of color war, and celebrating Jewish culture with Hebrew plays and folk-music campfire sing-alongs.

No one is pushed to date at Jewish summer camp, said Lauren Ben-Shoshan, who met her Israeli husband, Alon, as a counselor at URJ (Union for Reform Judaism) Camp Harlam in Kunkletown, Penn., in 2004. The couple now lives in Israel.

“Camp is a positive place for Jewish learning, physical activity and connecting with the outdoors. No one wants campers to feel bad because they didn’t find their spouse when they were 15, 19 or 22. But there is a covert understanding that [marriage is] a nice byproduct of Jewish summer camp, when it happens,” said Ben-Shoshan, who is also a Jewish educator.

It occurs more often than many realize. According to Camp Works, a report released in 2012 by Foundation for Jewish Camp, Jewish adults who attend Jewish overnight camp are on average 10% more likely to marry within the Jewish faith than their peers. The 2000-01 National Jewish Population Study found that number to be higher, with 78% of individuals who attended Jewish summer camp in-married, as opposed to 62% of their non-camper peers.

What’s the secret sauce? Is it that romantic Shabbat at sunset by the lake or in the secluded woods? That’s part of it, but it is more likely a result of the “intensity” of the camp experience, Ben-Shoshan believes.

“The days last forever, but camp feels like it only lasts a minute, so even if camp is only two months, these are two very intense months,” she said. “You see the campers and counselors in stressful situations, how they interact with peers and with the kids, the meals, how they interact with co-workers. It is all these things that happen in life, that could take several months in the ‘real world,’ you see within a week at camp.”

Jewish summer camp focuses heavily on community-building, noted Aaron Bogage, who attended the BBYO International Leadership Training Conference for several summers and now works at the overnight BBYO Chapter LTC. He said there are always “quite a few couples per session,” explaining that these relationships form because everyone is “extremely open” with each other and open to meeting new people. “Everyone is genuinely excited to get to know the rest of the teens.… There is a sense of community that comes from camp,” he said.

One can start to pinpoint new couples, according to Bogage, by looking at who sits where during meals and what campers do during free time. Bogage has not met his significant other through camp, but his good friend met a girl last summer from another state. They are still together despite the physical distance between them.

Jen Silber, executive director of Habonim Dror Camp Moshava in Street, Md., said there is a focus at camp on building healthy peer relationships. “We want [campers] to learn about communication, how to express their needs in relationships, feel confident being themselves and develop trust,” she said.

Silber, who met her own husband as a camper and then staffer at Moshava, argues that friendships and romantic relationships that people form at summer camp tend to be “deeper” and more authentic than those forged at school or in other environments. Campers and counselors feel accepted for who they are, she said.

Read more at jns.org.

Maayan Jaffe is former editor-in-chief of the Baltimore Jewish Times and a Kansas-based freelance writer. Reach her at jaffemaayan@gmail.com or follow her on Twitter, @MaayanJaffe.

 

A vision for the future

Rabbi Rick Jacobs, president of United Reform Judaism. (photo by Ian Spanier)

Temple Sholom is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year. As part of its continuing celebrations of this milestone, Rabbi Richard Jacobs, president of United Reform Judaism, and Paul Leszner, head of the Canadian Council for Reform Judaism, joined Rabbi Dan Moskovitz and the Vancouver congregation last Shabbat.

Rabbi Rick, as he is fondly known, is entering his third year as president of URJ. Throughout his rabbinate, he has been a social justice activist, whether setting up a homeless shelter in his hometown of New York City, or joining an international humanitarian mission to the Chad-Darfur border. Vibrant, welcoming and warm are some of the words that he uses to describe the movement, and it was not difficult to sense the enthusiasm as he discussed with the Independent his leadership philosophy, as well as the goals of Vision 2020, a URJ campaign to reach and inspire the 900 or so Reform communities across North America.

image - Rabbi Rick Jacobs carries with him a business card of his grandfather, Theodore Baumritter: “He taught me as much about life and Judaism as anyone I ever met.”
Rabbi Rick Jacobs carries with him a business card of his grandfather, Theodore Baumritter: “He taught me as much about life and Judaism as anyone I ever met.”

JI: I read about your personal mission and the fact that you carry around a business card of your grandfather, Theodore Baumritter. What does that say to you?

RJ: My grandfather was a person with such integrity and such goodwill that everywhere he went, people came to know and love him, people he met through business and through Jewish life. He taught me as much about life and Judaism as anyone I have ever met. Generational bonds are very important. To know where you come from and the people that helped you become who you are, they shape one’s character and aspirations.

My other grandmother emigrated from Eastern Europe when she was a teen. She was a seamstress on the Lower East Side and didn’t have the privilege of going to high school until she was a senior citizen. She went back and got her degree. She raised five children.

I feel very blessed to have the grandparents and parents I had, and hope that when we talk about ancestors they are not just vague theoretical people.

JI: What would you like readers, and Jews generally, to know about Reform Judaism?

RJ: Reform Judaism is large, passionate strong, dynamic, welcoming and truly inspirational. It can speak to lifetime congregation members and to those who haven’t tasted any of the rituals of the Jewish traditions. There may be people who at one point lived somewhere in a Jewish community and are open to finding a place for themselves.

JI: What are the specific goals of Vision 2020 and how do you propose to carry them out?

RJ: With guidance and help from rabbis and leaders across the U.S. and Canada, UJR envisions three major strategic priorities.

The first is to strengthen congregations, even congregations that are thriving and growing…. The world in which we live and the Jewish communities in which we find ourselves are having to change at an extraordinary rate. Congregations have to learn about how to engage in learning, spirituality and worship to nourish the soul. How do we ensure the synagogue is not frozen in one moment even though we have been growing steadily? How do we express chesed (loving kindness) in the congregation?

The second priority is called “audacious hospitality.” Audacious hospitality reaches beyond politeness…. Anyone who shows an interest in Judaism should not be turned away. If someone walks into the synagogue for the first time, it’s a very tentative moment. “Will I feel at home? Will I want to explore and get to know people?” Particularly a family with children. We want and need everyone to feel a genuine connection, rather than institutional – seniors, disabled, interfaith families; someone who has no knowledge of their Jewish faith; a traditional person who is now seeking something more contemporary. It’s about inclusion with no barriers. What’s important is building the bridges outside the walls and at the same time paying very close attention to those inside our walls.

JI: Low-income people or families may not have the means to afford membership or event costs. How do you propose to remove that barrier?

RJ: One of the barriers that keeps people outside the synagogue can be a financial barrier. Sometimes it’s a barrier or a priority they choose to avoid. Either way, we want to lower those because it’s not the finances that bind us together. We are bound together because we are part of a people, and we want to reduce ways in which you have to formally affiliate. Although, supporting something you care deeply about is a deeply held Jewish value. But, if someone wants to participate, it cannot be a barrier. Whether it’s participation in summer camp or Jewish day school, we have to remove those barriers.

JI: The third pillar of Vision 2020 is tikkun olam. Could you give me some examples?

RJ: Tikkun olam [perfecting the world] is a very large category to express a fundamental Jewish commitment. In the past 20 years, every study of the Jewish community [asks] … “What is the most compelling way you express your Judaism?” Pew Research [results] said: One, remembering the Holocaust. Two, standing up for equality and social justice. We use [tikkun olam] to actually express a fundamental Jewish commitment. When we pray or celebrate holidays, it is not instead of doing community work for people who have no home or food – tikkun olam is becoming a partner with G-d and making the world as God intended it to be. It’s primary. It is the pillar of Jewish life.

For us, tikkun olam also involves core Jewish values on a local and national level. It’s about helping immigrants, making sure that gun violence is not to the point that it inhibits our society. It also means making sure that public policy is responsible to [people’s] needs, whether it’s health care or caring for seniors. We don’t separate public policy and say, “That’s the government’s job.” We care about them. On a local and a national level, these are core Jewish values.

So, how do we lead and support the things that our Jewish tradition commands us to do? Young people tell us (whether they are involved or not) that, for them, the way that tikkun olam is practised is a serious, ongoing discipline, a way of life and a top priority.

JI: Is that where all the passion is to be found? What happens to the ritual and liturgy? Can these inspire people in these high-tech times?

RJ: Not only can we, but it’s happening. I recently attended a convention in Atlanta, Ga., where 1,000 of our own youth leaders attended, but also youth professionals who lead prayers, study. They [made] sure that we learned about the history of civil rights. Atlanta is where Martin Luther King preached. I use the example of young people because they have the fire burning in them. They speak Hebrew, they know how to pray, chant Torah and they have attended Birthrights. It is one thing to hear it from rabbis and educators. It is another thing to hear it from youth leaders.

We have 15 summer camps. Young people will talk about their expressions of Jewish commitment, such as meditating, praying and singing. They will stand up for Israel in their schools. This is the kind of Jewish engagement we are seeing. But this is also the time to be thinking about the young people who aren’t engaged.

JI: How do you reach them?

RJ: One method, which we can now use, is technology. We have, for instance, a website, reformjudaism.org. Last year, there were two million users on the website looking for Jewish learning and connection. Technology can be a connector but can’t have the same experience as a face-to-face real community, only virtual.

JI: What really excites you about your job?

RJ: I love traveling and getting to know Jewish communities all across North America. From a small little community in Mississippi or a large congregation in Arizona. Or, this weekend, Vancouver, Calgary and Edmonton. It’s a privilege getting to know the different communities and bringing a sense that we are part of something larger.

Jenny Wright is a writer, music therapist, children’s musician and recording artist.