Tag: Temple Sholom

Cooking to fill others’ tables

Mere days before heading to Israel for a couple of weeks, Sara Ciacci, 90, called the Jewish Independent to make sure that I had received her new cookbook, Sara’s Kitchen: 90 Years of Devotion, 90 Recipes from the Heart (Gateway Rasmussen, 2015), and that I had all the information I needed about the Jewish Food Bank. For Ciacci, food and tzedaka are inextricably connected with life and community.

“Sara Ciacci is the beating heart of Temple Sholom’s kitchen,” reads the cookbook’s introduction. “From her kiddush lunches to the Sisterhood catering committee, second seders, women’s seders and the annual Yom Kippur break-the-fast, Sara has made a mission of nourishing her congregation since its earliest days. She is queen of all hamantashen, blintzes and latkes, and, every year, she and friend Leonor Etkin produce challot by the dozen for Temple Sholom’s High Holiday celebrations. Sara also makes the Vancouver Jewish Food Bank her priority, and all the hungry in our community will be the beneficiaries of all the money raised from the sale of Sara’s Kitchen.”

The Jewish Food Bank supports close to 400 Jewish individuals each year, according to its 2013-2014 report. Ciacci shared with the Jewish Independent an email she wrote to the Jewish Family Service Agency, which co-funds the food bank with Jewish Women International-B.C. and community donors. In it, she traces her memories of the service agency back 80 years, to the Depression era, when, like many families in the Jewish community, she writes, “my mother, two sisters and I needed help. I also remember Theresa Blumberg, the social worker who came to our home and found a reason to look in the food pantry, to talk with me and ask about school. She also found time to visit me during the 18 months that I was in the children’s preventorium for tuberculosis. It was Miss Blumberg who made sure that I had proper shoes and school supplies. My only possession from childhood is an 11th birthday book inscribed, ‘To my dear Sara, from Theresa Blumberg.’…

“My adult association with the Jewish Food Bank started in 1984 when our president, Jean Cohen, was helping a Jewish senior and found canned cat food in her cupboard. She did not have a cat. Jean brought the idea of a food bank for seniors and immigrants to our board. We then approached the Jewish Family Service Agency (JFSA) and an unofficial partnership was born. B’nai B’rith Women (now JWI-BC) would be responsible for collecting food and JFSA counselors chose the recipients. Hampers were provided based on a list that identified recipients only by a numbered card that specified their specific needs.”

Organized for a number of years by “two wonderful women who are no longer with us,” Renee Lifchus for BBW (now JWI-BC) and Isabel Lever from JFSA, “We packed the first hampers … in Safeway paper bags on the workbench in Carol Fader’s basement…. Hampers contained non-perishable food items that our members donated or collected from friends and family.”

In this tradition of community, several recipes in Sara’s Kitchen are Ciacci’s “by way of being begged, borrowed, copied, changed or invented.” The sources of these recipes are acknowledged, which adds to the community feel of this cookbook.

There are three chapters, starting with most everyone’s favorite meal: dessert. The second chapter comprises Passover recipes, the third, “and everything else.” There is an index for quick finds, a page on which to note your favorite recipes and their page number for easy reference, as well as a couple of pages to write in a few of your own recipes. Each section is headed by a full-color page of some of the treats waiting to be made.

The desserts section starts with a few tips, such as the need to chill cookie dough for at least an hour. Ginger snaps, blueberry drop cookies, and apple and honey cake bread pudding with butterscotch sauce are among the 36 pages of desserts to try after Passover.

In addition to the Passover conversion table – offering substitutes for flour and Graham cracker crumbs, for example – there is a spice guide, and pieces of advice offered throughout, such as how to ripen avocados more quickly and how to make radish roses. Appropriately, on page 90, is “Sara Ciacci’s Recipe for a Rich Full Life,” featuring nine wise ingredients.

Since I’m reviewing this cookbook in the Jewish Independent’s Passover edition, the recipes I tested are all kosher for the holiday: spinach vegetable kugel, red cabbage and almond crisps. Everything turned out according to plan, except the almond crisps, which were golden brown in about half the suggested time. I will remember this next time I make them because they are so good and easy to make, there will be a next time.

SPINACH VEGETABLE KUGEL

3 large carrots
10 oz package frozen spinach, thawed
1 medium onion
2 stalks celery
1 cup chicken [or vegetable] bouillon
3 eggs
3/4 cup matza meal
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat over to 350˚F. Grease an eight-inch square pan.

Cut up and grate carrots. Set aside. Chop spinach, onion and celery. Place in a two-quart saucepan. Add grated carrots and bouillon. Cook over medium heat for 15 to 20 minutes until vegetables are soft.

Place the eggs and matza meal in a mixing bowl. Stir in cooked vegetables. Season with salt and pepper. Spread the mixture evenly in the baking pan. Bake, uncovered, for 45 minutes. Cut into squares before serving.

RED CABBAGE

1 medium onion
1 average-size red cabbage
4 medium apples
1/4 cup canola oil or butter
1/2 cup water
3 tbsp (or more) red wine vinegar
3 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
3 or 4 whole cloves
1 tsp caraway seeds (optional)

Slice onion and sauté in oil/butter until translucent. Shred cabbage. Peel, core and slice up apples. Place cabbage in a pot and top with the sliced apples. Add water and remaining ingredients. Place on medium-low heat and simmer one hour (or longer), stirring occasionally until cabbage is tender.

Adjust vinegar/sugar to taste. Some lemon juice can be substituted for the vinegar.

ALMOND CRISPS
Perfect for Passover, these cookies also make a great gluten-free option at any dessert buffet.

3 cups sliced almonds with skins, lightly toasted
1/2 cup sugar
2 egg whites. at room temperature
1/2 tsp vanilla (optional)

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line cookie sheet with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, mix (do not beat) egg whites with sugar. Add vanilla. Stir in almonds.

Using a tablespoon, make mounds of mixture on cookie sheet and flatten into thin rounds with your fingers dipped in cold water or with the back of a spoon. Bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown.

Turn off the oven and leave cookies in the oven with door open for 10 more minutes.

Makes 20 to 22 cookies.

For copies of Sara’s Kitchen, contact Darcy Billinkoff at billi@telus.net.

Scouting returns in full force

Sholom Cubs leaders Laura Tuan and Isaac Kool with their troops. (photo from Temple Sholom)

Sholom Scouts celebrated their first milestone when they conducted their first investiture ceremony earlier this month at Temple Sholom.

The ceremony is a central part of Scouts Canada, when new members become invested as scouts. New scouts make the Scout Promise to the Scouts leader and, in response, the Scouts troop leader pledges to help the scout do their best to uphold the promise, setting up a bond between them.

It’s the first time since the 1940s that a Jewish Scouts troop has existed in Western Canada. The rise of Sholom Scouts can be attributed to the vision of Temple Sholom Rabbi Dan Moskovitz.

“I moved here to Vancouver 18 months ago and was blown away by the nature beauty and resources of our surroundings,” he told the Independent. “I wanted to experience them with my children but didn’t want to head out camping or hiking on my own. I was a scout briefly as a child and thought it would be a good organization to explore the outdoors with my children.”

So, approximately a year ago, he went to the Scouts Canada house on Broadway and spoke with one of their representatives about how to start a troop. “I explained my desire and also that I was a rabbi and had access to a building to meet in and a network of other Jewish parents that might want the same experience for their children. He said they had been trying to start a Jewish Scouts group in Vancouver for more than 15 years but didn’t know where to begin, so it was bashert. They started helping right away with open house meetings for parents and kids and we got the word out through social media,” he said.

The boy troop now consists of eight beavers (5- to 7-year-olds) and eight cubs (8- to 10-year-olds) with members from across the Jewish religious spectrum. The children meet biweekly, even though, according to Moskovitz, they will be shifting to a traditional weekly program next year. The children have a bimonthly outdoor event, hiking, camping or another such activity. In May, Sholom Scouts will participate in an area-wide family campout with other Scouts groups from the Lower Mainland.

All Sholom Scouts activities are in line with kashrut observance, with a kosher kitchen on site, and are shomer Shabbat, including services as part of the campground experience.

Before the March 5 investiture ceremony, Moskovitz gave a tour of the synagogue to help another troop, Ryerson, obtain their religion and spirituality badge. There was a falafel dinner, at which the rabbi received an appreciation award from Scouts Canada, followed by Cub Car and Beaver Cubby Racing. The investiture concluded the evening.

In his remarks, Moskovitz explained the symbolism of having the first investiture ceremony in the sanctuary. “Though we have members of our Beavers and Cubs from many different synagogues and parts of the larger Jewish community, the synagogue sanctuary is the sacred place in all of Judaism where the Torah is kept and read, where the community gathers, where the eternal light is kept burning. It’s a place where children celebrate through bar and bat mitzvah their entry into adulthood and, tonight, where we celebrate their preparation for adulthood.”

The ceremony was important for other reasons, as well.

Raphy Tischler, Sholom Scouts Beaver leader, linked it to Jewish holidays such as Sukkot and the Zionist value of “Ahavat Haaretz.” “Living on the West Coast, it is only a natural connection to combine scouting and Judaism. I want the Jewish community to recognize the potential of outdoor programming as part of a well-rounded Jewish experience,” he said.

photo - Left to right: Temple Sholom Rabbi Dan Mozkovitz, Ryerson Cubs leader Lawrence Harris, Pacific Spirit Area commissioner Michael Palmer and Pacific Coast Council commissioner Brandon Jonathan Ma.
Left to right: Temple Sholom Rabbi Dan Mozkovitz, Ryerson Cubs leader Lawrence Harris, Pacific Spirit Area commissioner Michael Palmer and Pacific Coast Council commissioner Brandon Jonathan Ma. (photo from Temple Sholom)

And scouting is a great way to reinforce the values of tikkun olam, according to Isaac Kool, Sholom Scouts Cub leader. “We need to start with our own community, including with the natural world.”

Brandon Ma, Pacific Coast Council commissioner for Scouts Canada, pointed out the parent volunteer aspect. “It is one of the only programs that I know of that parents are involved in the programming with their children at the same time, living, working, growing, having fun….”

Sholom Scouts are currently in need of more volunteers. Becoming a volunteer is a multi-step process that includes a personal interview, provision of three personal references and a police record check. Afterward, there is an online training session and mentoring with a local scout leader, where you learn about programming for youth.

Moskovitz believes it is a great way to bring Jewish parents together with their children. “Ninety percent of your Jewish life is lived outside of the synagogue. Scouts helps raise you in the world as a Jew and in the surroundings. It uses the quote, ‘Don’t separate yourself from the community’ … be a part [of it] but be a Jew,” he said.

“I think it will be amazing for our kids and for the hundreds of non-Jewish scouters and families who will join us and perhaps be exposed to outwardly Jewish kids for the first time,” said Moskovitz. “Our people camped in the desert for 40 years, I think we should be able to handle a weekend.”

Gil Lavie is a freelance correspondent, with articles published in the Jerusalem Post, Shalom Toronto and Tazpit News Agency. He has a master’s of global affairs from the Munk School of Global Affairs at the University of Toronto.

 

Positivity is vital to life

The 15th annual Chutzpah! Festival of the Jewish Performing Arts concluded on Sunday with the group Diwan Saz. Their main message: music has no borders. And, “Don’t believe the news,” i.e. Israel is more than a conflict zone.

Yet, our brains are hardwired to find the negative in life. As one neuropsychologist writes, “the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.” It is no coincidence that the news the media mainly reports is bad. It not only titillates, but it sticks with us. However, there are good news stories, and they should not be dismissed as “fluff,” or as less significant than the “serious” news. On the contrary.

The arts are vital to our lives, as are sports and other cultural endeavors. They are not merely for entertainment or to escape from reality. Among other things, these pursuits encourage creativity and propel innovation, they nurture our souls and provide ways in which we can connect to each other. They can be catalysts for all types of change in the world, making people aware of issues they might not otherwise consider, bringing people together to speak out against injustice or in favor of peace, for example.

The multicultural Bedouin, Israeli Arab, Turkish, Jewish Israeli (Ashkenazi and Sephardi) group Diwan Saz, comprised of nine musicians, is a prime example of how people of different places, beliefs and backgrounds can live, play and travel together – by choice, and happily, enriched by one another’s friendship and musicianship.

Since its beginnings, Chutzpah! has shown how arts and culture can bring diverse people together. In recent years, Israeli performers have graced the cover of the Georgia Straight in its Chutzpah! coverage. What better ambassadors of Israeli and Jewish culture, and the cross-cultural possibilities of the Middle East?

This week’s JI cover stories provide another couple of examples.

Twenty kids from the Canada Israel Hockey School, a joint venture of the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver and the Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver, visited last week – Jewish Israeli, Arab Israeli, girls and boys, the hockey players see each other as teammates, playing for the love of the game. Not only are positive bonds and memories being formed among the players, but also between them and their coaches in Israel and in Vancouver, the local hockey players they met, both from the Jewish league and from the Canucks. Interviewed by CBC’s Shane Foxman, these kids were representing not just themselves, but the sport of hockey and their country of Israel – and they are cause for pride.

Sholom Scouts are also not “just” scouts. Not to put too much pressure on them, but they are Jewish ambassadors to the larger Scouts community as well as the general community. Within the Jewish community, they represent a spectrum of Jewish beliefs, all coming together to become good stewards of the land and good citizens.

It is healthy to see the negative: it helps us to be safe, to become aware of what isn’t quite right, what needs adjustment and what areas of justice still need to be pursued. As Leonard Cohen sings, “there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” But, focusing exclusively on the negative – the crack instead of the light – isn’t healthy, not for ourselves personally or for society at large. This does not imply blocking out the reality of the suffering that does exist, but instead recognizing that we ignore the beauty, loving kindness and bright spots of reality to our detriment.

Whether it’s by being more mindful, cultivating more loving kindness, reducing stress and anxiety, re-balancing our middot, being open to new and challenging experiences or learning more about something that interests or concerns us, we can find more good. It takes time and effort to “hardwire happiness” in our brains and in our lives, but it’s possible.

It helps when we consciously draw out the positive, such as the stories mentioned here, and engage in the positive cultural and social behaviors that make us more than mere human animals, and more fully and happily human.

Unique, fun and giving gifts

Lisa Pozin’s co-op features changing vendors, constant quality, available at the store and online. (image from givinggifts.ca)

Owning a small retail business may seem unconnected to making our planet a better place, but each purchase made in Lisa Pozin’s gift shop makes a positive difference in someone’s life.

Pozin started the company Giving Gifts about four years ago online. “I have been working at Temple Sholom as a program director since I was at university,” she said in an interview with the Jewish Independent. “I dreamt about having my own store before but I’m not a risk taker. I had a job, then I had three kids in three years. When I was on maternity leave with my youngest one, I decided it was time. Renting a retail space is expensive, and I wasn’t sure it would work, so I started online.”

photo - Lisa Pozin owns Giving Gifts & Co. at 4570 Main St
Lisa Pozin owns Giving Gifts & Co. at 4570 Main St. (photo by Olga Livshin)

Although her university degree in criminology and anthropology never prepared her for entrepreneurship, her job at Temple Sholom gave her practical business experience. “I got involved with the Temple’s gift shop. I liked it, liked finding artists and producers of interesting items. It appeared I have a good eye for what other people would want to buy.”

For Temple Sholom, of course, the items for sale have to have a Jewish connection (sholomjudaica.ca), but for her own shop, Pozin concentrated instead on selling only fair trade and eco-friendly gifts.

“I’ve always been a conscientious shopper myself. I think it’s part of being Jewish – trying to make a difference. I wanted to contribute to changing the world through shopping. There is this movement ‘Buy to Change’; I wanted to be part of it, wanted people to find special products in my shop, products which help the world. I sell things that help someone make a better life.”

Each product line has meaning. “We have necklaces called Giving Keys,” Pozin offered as an example. “They are keys with a word engraved on them, ‘strength’ or ‘courage.’ They’re meant to be passed on. When you get this key, you must give it away at some point to a person who needs the message on the key. The necklaces are made by formerly homeless people in L.A.”

Giving Gifts carries scarves made in Ethiopia by women transitioning out of the sex trade. It sells a series from Barefoot Books, a small children’s book company run by two mothers.

Each of Pozin’s vendors contributes to charities and, through them, so does Pozin. Ten percent of every sale made in the store is donated to various charities. “Mostly, they are children’s charities,” said Pozin. “A couple years ago, I started a donation campaign and we built a school in Kenya.”

When she finally opened a physical shop about a year and a half ago – Giving Gifts & Co. at 4570 Main St. – Pozin set it up as a co-op. “It’s a new concept in retail,” she said. “Giving Gifts is a permanent vendor at the store. The other vendors change. Each vendor rents a space from me for a certain amount of time – one day a week or some such – and sells his products and everything else in the store. This way, I don’t have to be in the store all the time and I help local artisans, jewelry and clothes makers, to sell their things. One of my vendors is a florist. Another is a perfumer. We have a wonderful community.”

Pozin offers shoppers both variety and convenience. She maintains an online presence (givinggifts.ca) and her services include shipping. “We ship almost every day. People shop online for gifts from small towns all over B.C. Even in Vancouver, they sometimes don’t have time to come to the store during working hours, so we ship to them.”

The shop manages to sustain itself. Pozin spends two days there and the rest of the week she still works at the synagogue.

“I love my work as a program director at Temple Sholom,” she said. “I work with families and teens. I run a seniors yoga class. It’s wonderful to work there, but I love my store, too. I’m excited when people buy from me. Together, we make a difference. We support good values and benefit the planet. There are more and more stores like that coming up everywhere. I hope the store will be successful at some point soon.”

In less than two years, Giving Gifts & Co. has acquired an excellent reputation. Earlier this year, it was a nominee in City of Vancouver’s first annual Awards of Excellence, which were presented in June, and it also made it into the latest edition of the Lonely Planet tourist guide.

“From Bakelite antiques to artisan chocolate bars and handmade kids wear, it’s well worth a browse if you’re in the neighborhood,” reads the guide entry. “The vendors are changed every few months to keep things lively, so there’s almost always something tempting to buy.”

Olga Livshin is a Vancouver freelance writer. She can be reached at olgagodim@gmail.com.

 

Narrowing the housing gap

Gil Gan-Mor of the Association of Civil Rights in Israel will be one of the speakers at Gimme Shelter on Nov. 20. (photo from Gil Gan-Mor)

A condominium used to be a potentially affordable alternative to a home for buyers in Vancouver, but condo prices are now so high that the vast majority of Vancouverites cannot afford them.

The most recent Strategics’ Vancouver Condo Report, released last week, noted that, in Vancouver, “The average low-rise project … asking price is $632,000, which eliminates many of the young couples and single buyers in this market.” Other reports using other factors have come to similar conclusions. And housing affordability is not just a problem facing this city.

On Nov. 20, New Israel Fund of Canada is hosting the event Gimme Shelter: Closing the Middle Class Housing Gap in Israel and Canada, co-sponsored by Temple Sholom, Generation Squeeze and Tikva Housing Society. It will feature speakers Gil Gan-Mor of the Association of Civil Rights in Israel (ACRI), Dr. Penelope Gurstein of the University of British Columbia and Dr. Paul Kershaw, founder of Generation Squeeze.

Gan-Mor, an attorney, will talk about the situation in Israel and provide an update on the government’s actions there since the social protests that took place in 2011. He spoke with the Independent in anticipation of his visit.

According to Gan-Mor, ACRI is the only human rights organization in Israel “that engages with the full spectrum of human rights and civil liberties.” A nonprofit, it is funded through donations and grants, but receives no financial support from the government. Its goals, Gan-Mor said, “are to protect and promote human rights in Israel through a combination of litigation, policy advocacy and public outreach. Specifically, in the Right to Housing Project, our goals are to ensure equal access to housing, fight housing discrimination, protect the right to affordable housing, promote inclusionary policies in housing and reduce segregation, combat homelessness and protect the rights of homeless people.”

Gan-Mor began working with ACRI during his second year of an NIF fellowship for graduates of its Civil Liberties Law program. He was “given the opportunity to develop a new project in ACRI,” he said, “the Right to Housing Project, which fit in with ACRI’s efforts to increase its involvement in social and economic rights.” He “didn’t expect at that time that, four years later, the right to affordable housing would be at the centre of the social protests that drew hundreds of thousands of Israelis to the streets.”

About the current situation, he explained, “In Israel, housing affordability is a big issue, because of two processes. First, in the last two decades, the governments in Israel dramatically withdrew from their past involvement in the housing market, leaving the role of providing housing to private market forces…. The second process is the dramatic increase in housing prices, which were already expensive…. These two processes led to a growing inequality in Israel,” as “more and more families must spend an increasing share of their income to ensure decent housing at the expense of other basic needs,” as well as “a growing polarization of residential neighborhoods, which are becoming increasingly separated on a socioeconomic level.”

Gan-Mor added, “We in ACRI view those aspects with great concern and are acting to force the government to become more active in realizing the right to housing, a right which cannot be ensured only through private market forces.”

The Gimme Shelter event will give attendees an opportunity “to question how Israel expresses the values of human rights in its domestic policy, and how they as international supporters of Israel can participate in this dialogue on building a more just society inside Israel,” said Gan-Mor. And it will offer a similar opportunity for Vancouverites to participate in the dialogue about how to build a more just society here, too, at least as far as housing is concerned.

Gimme Shelter will take place at Temple Sholom on Nov. 20, 7 p.m. For more information about the speakers and to register for the event, visit nifcan.org/our-events/upcoming.

Zach Sagorin is a Vancouver freelance writer.

 

 

Bringing Judaism into the public sphere

A 28-year-old struggling writer walks up to a checkout counter at Whole Foods. “Where is the Torah study?” he asks. “Oh, the class with the rabbi? That’s in the back, near the nuts.”

The clerk wasn’t being pejorative – the Torah study really is in the back, near the bulk bins of nuts and trail mix. I should know: I’m the nut teaching Torah in the store every Wednesday.

In my 20-plus years as a Jewish educator, I never dreamt I’d be teaching Torah in a supermarket. But, then again, I’m pretty sure the two dozen or so students who regularly participate in the class never thought they’d be studying Jewish text each week, let alone doing so surrounded by organic Swiss chard.

There is nothing new in all this. When the Israelites returned from Babylonian exile in 537 BCE and rebuilt the Temple, Ezra the Scribe noticed that the people were too busy with the pressures of the day to make time for Judaism. On Mondays and Thursdays – the two busiest market days – Ezra stood in the street and read Torah out loud to a people who had all but forgotten their own story. From this seminal moment sprang the practice of reading the Torah on Mondays and Thursdays that continues in synagogues to this day.

Millennia later, public space Judaism is again an emerging trend. I began my own work in this field as a congregational rabbi at Temple Judea in Tarzana, Calif., inspired by Rabbi Kerry Olitzky’s teaching: “In a place where you can be Jewish anywhere, we should grasp the opportunity to be Jewish everywhere.”

Torah study at Whole Foods expanded to a host of Jewish events. On Sukkot, our youth group built a sukkah on Whole Foods’ outdoor patio, a banner explained the structure. We nurtured a mutually beneficial relationship with the store manager and staff, and the store sponsored food and activities at temple events. A year later, the relationship had solidified to the point that the store manager invited our congregation to lead a menorah lighting at Chanukah time. At that moment, I knew that we’d not only engaged Jews beyond our shul’s walls; we had changed the public face of Judaism in our community.

For Jewish communities like Vancouver that lack great Jewish population density, public space Judaism is a bit like online dating: if you want to meet someone, you need to let people know you’re looking.

Afterwards, the room was electric with everyone talking about how wonderful it was to connect with a larger Jewish community while on vacation and brainstorming how we might do this again.

How do we accomplish this? My colleague at Temple Sholom, Rabbi Carey Brown, teaches a Talmud class for millennials in a coffee shop once a month; I teach a text-based Jewish current events discussion at lunchtime in an office boardroom. Ringing in the 2014 year, we led a Shabbat service and Havdalah at Whistler Blackcomb. More than 60 people came to the dinner and service, about 45 to Havdalah. Afterwards, the room was electric with everyone talking about how wonderful it was to connect with a larger Jewish community while on vacation and brainstorming how we might do this again. A few local Jewish families asked if we could help educate their remote community. We now have plans to bring Hebrew school and family education to them.

When the rain and snow subside and the sun shines on Vancouver’s beaches, our congregation leads relaxing, open Shabbat services on the beach. We unfurl a banner and post signs welcoming all who wish to join us. And, like at Whole Foods, they come – Jews and “Jew curious.”

Howard Schultz, the man who developed Starbucks Coffee’s identity, famously explained his business model as trying to create a “third place” between work and home where people could gather and feel they belonged. For generations, the synagogue was that third place for Jews.

Like most rabbis, I have tried everything short of standing on my head to get people into my shul for prayer or study. While many come, some regularly, many others don’t or won’t. We can bring synagogue to them. We can meet in a third place of our own creation, filling it with meaning and a measure of Yiddishkeit.

One group in particular was easy to find but hard to reach: Jewish men. They were everywhere in our larger community, but not at synagogue. I asked a socially connected man in my Los Angeles congregation to host a Guys’ Night with the Rabbi in his home. I suggested he invite anyone he wanted and encourage guys to bring a friend.

To my surprise, 23 guys showed up. When we asked them why, they answered, “Because you asked.” Note that the “you” was not me, but the guy they respected and liked who had invited them to his home. Again, it was all about relationships.

We began that “Guys Night” with a simple but powerful exercise – introduce yourself without saying what you do for a living. Men so often define themselves by what they do, how they provide for their families. Our group would only work, we realized, if we could retrain ourselves to change this damaging, isolating pattern that is related to male competitiveness. We would have to see other men as brothers, each one with good things to give and to receive.

We established ground rules about confidentiality and cross talk. In the first months, we discussed Why Do We Work So Hard?; What Kind of Fathers We Had, What Kind of Fathers We Are; Being a Husband: How Has Your Partner Influenced the Way You Think?; Power and the Male Identity.

I always prepared a contemporary text and a Jewish text to help guide our talks, but soon we needed no more than a trigger to get started. The group of about 60 regulars has now met for eight years. Our annual retreat attracts more than 100 and there’s also an annual Community Men’s Seder, based on a Men of Reform Judaism model, that a core group of guys lead for friends and colleagues, which is growing every year. And many of the men who were once absent from synagogue life are now present.

Public space Judaism has taught me that, even in the congregational context, I need to reach out to members. If I wait for them to come to me, they might never come.

Public space Judaism has taught me that, even in the congregational context, I need to reach out to members. If I wait for them to come to me, they might never come. On my first day at Temple Sholom, for example, I was handed the Kaddish list for the coming Shabbat. I didn’t know any of the names, so I started calling members who were observing yahrzeits. Introducing myself, I explained that it would be my first time reading the name of their loved one. Could they tell me a little bit about the deceased, so I had a context for their memory as I read the name on Shabbat?

One by one, congregants told me their stories. They remembered things about their parents, spouses and siblings they hadn’t thought of in years. Tears flowed on both ends of the conversation. When the mourners came to synagogue that week to recite Kaddish, it was easier for them to walk into the place that had been made unfamiliar because of the change of rabbis, and easier for me to stand before them. We were no longer strangers.

Many of those talks also led to my visiting members’ homes or meeting them for coffee to hear their stories. Whenever possible, I set those meetings away from my office. Like Ezra the Scribe, I feel I need to engage the people in their space, not mine.

Yes, public space Judaism is a blind date, and that takes a bit of chutzpah. It begins with the sukkah, the phone call, the get-together at Whole Foods near the nut department. More often than we think, it leads to a relationship – a relationship with other Jews and with our Jewish selves that endures.

Rabbi Dan Moskovitz is senior rabbi at Temple Sholom and co-author of The MRJ Men’s Seder Haggadah (MRJ Press 2007). You can follow him on twitter @rabbidanmosk. A longer version of this article was originally published in Reform Judaism Magazine.