Still rational to be optimistic?

BENJAMIN BLECH

What a year we’ve just lived through! So many things went wrong. The economy went into crisis mode. Our retirement funds dwindled in value and jobs became scarcer. There were hurricanes, earthquakes and unbearable temperatures. Rebellions and revolutions spread around the globe and the vision of universal peace seemed further away than ever. And with all that came a cultural change that we can’t remember afflicting us any time in the past.

Peggy Noonan captured it in an article she wrote in the Wall Street Journal: “The biggest political change in my lifetime is that Americans no longer assume that their children will have it better than they did…. That was what kept people pulling their boots on in the morning after the first weary pause: my kids will have it better…. Parents now fear something has stopped … our view of the future is now fundamentally pessimistic.”

As we carry on our tradition to wish each other a happy new year at this time of year, we have to stop and wonder whether the greeting has become unrealistic. Is it rational to still be optimistic? I believe that it isn’t simply permissible to be an optimist, it’s a mitzvah and it’s mandatory!

If we believe the words of the Torah, all we have to do is look at the opening chapter. Every day, God created something different and then figuratively stepped back to evaluate what He had brought into being. What He saw pleased Him and, from day to day, he gave His verdict that “it was good.” When He finally completed His work with the creation of Adam and Eve, the Torah tells us, “And God saw everything that He had made and, behold, it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31)

Martin Seligman, a University of Pennsylvania psychologist and author of Learned Optimism, has said that pessimism can be changed; people can alter their thinking about bad events and thereby improve their health.

Many health professionals have come to agree with him; optimism can be cultivated. Robert Thayer, a professor of psychology at California State University, Long Beach, in his book The Origin of Everyday Moods, says that most people think of optimism and pessimism as fixed traits, but he and his colleagues find that these feelings tend to come and go, like moods that usually are associated with specific moments.

There are ways to prevent ourselves from falling into depression and from assuming that God has forsaken us:

• Psychiatrist Dr. Robert Fox says helping others helps considerably. It seems that loving your neighbor as yourself isn’t just good for your neighbor, it’s a powerful medicine for you, as well. “Optimists,” according to Fox, “discover that cooperation is better than competition.”

• Psychologist Michael Mercer, author of Spontaneous Optimism: Proven Strategies for Health, Prosperity and Happiness, advises concentration on what you want in life, not on what you don’t want. Optimists, he says, focus on solutions rather than problems. For example, they switch from thinking, “I hate my boss” to “What can I do to become a better person?”

Mercer also stresses the importance of environment. Spending time with constant complainers will influence your thinking. Having friends who enjoy life and laugh often will do wonders. Developing a sense of community by joining a synagogue and strengthening positive values creates a totally different inner world, no matter how bad external events appear.

He also suggests that you learn to use upbeat language. Don’t say you’re tired, just tell people you need to recharge your batteries. Or use prayer to highlight your connection with a higher power and your continued hope for the future.

• Psychologists stress that we can choose how we think. Styles of thinking become habits. We can control our thoughts as we can our muscles. Pessimists tend to have hopeless thoughts. They tell themselves, “I’ll never get it right” or, worse, “I must be stupid.” People have to learn to speak to themselves more kindly, the way in which you would expect a loving friend to speak to you. If you act like a jerk, don’t give yourself that description in your own mind, but say, “Sometimes I’m not as considerate as I’d like to be, but overall I know I’m a kind person.” His advice, in my opinion, echoes the profound admonition of the Chafetz Chaim, who warned that it is just as sinful to speak ill of oneself as it is to speak badly of others.

• Accept the wisdom of William James, the pioneering psychologist and philosopher, who claimed that, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” Concentration camp survivors often explain that their most important strategy for staying alive was imagining in their minds eating an entire meal, from appetizer to dessert. They didn’t get any calories but they did affirm their confidence that some day their lives would be normal again. Let the mind think holy thoughts, Jewish sages long ago counseled, and that is how you become holy.

• Learn to look at people and see their positive qualities rather than their faults. If the first thing you notice about your date is that he’s bald, but don’t even see his beautiful smile and kindly face, it’s possible that nobody is good enough for you.

• Most important, according to social scientists, is attaching yourself to a belief system that inspires and gives meaning to your life, that will ensure happiness regardless of trying circumstances.

What all these insights share in common is that we owe it to ourselves to be optimistic no matter what goes on around us, and that the spiritual values of faith have great potential to achieve that goal. When we rededicate ourselves to God and these values on the High Holy Days, we stand the greatest chance of ensuring that – in spite of everything – we will have a very happy new year. √

Rabbi Benjamin Blech, a Talmud professor at Yeshivah University, is the author of 12 books. This article was originally published by Aish Hatorah Resources and distributed by the Kaddish Connection Network.

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