Think before e-mailing

Editorial

The Jewish Independent receives hundreds of e-mail a day, most of them spam, some of them dealing with important community concerns and events. We have encouraged people to use the wonderful power of the Internet to communicate with us and, over the years, you have responded and the technology has improved our ability to cover issues in a timely fashion. But there are times when we receive an e-mail that we hope the sender would not have sent if he/she had another moment for second thought. One such instance occurred the day before Yom Kippur, just last week.

The missive comprised a slanderous, hate-filled attack on a community member. It was sent to many people. Its content will not be repeated here, nor will we venture to imagine the motives of its sender. However, we will admit we found it disturbing that there are people who feel that the Internet and the newspaper are appropriate venues for airing such material. As well, we could not let the sad irony of the e-mail's timing pass without comment.

The Independent got the offensive transmission on the morning of Wednesday, Oct. 12. Others seem to have received it the night before. Either way, the e-mail was sent out less than 24 hours before Yom Kippur began. At that point, we and other Jews were on the ninth day of the 10 days of repentance that link Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. We had been busy trying to make amends with our fellow human beings, both apologizing for whatever wrongs we may have done, purposefully or accidentally, to others and offering forgiveness for any transgressions against us.

More than once we had beaten our chest with our right hand while reciting our sins: "We abuse, we betray, we are cruel. We destroy, we embitter, we falsify. We gossip, we hate, we insult. We jeer, we kill, we lie. We mock, we neglect, we oppress." And that is only the tip of the iceberg. There are many, many more and the week was spent acknowledging them all and pledging to continue the struggle - to keep trying to find the courage to renew our lives and to change at least part of what should be changed. When we symbolically cast away our sins on Tashlich, we did not become sinless, rather we re-committed ourselves to trying to overcome some of our weaknesses.

By last Wednesday, we should have been prepared for Yom Kippur - "The tenth day of the seventh month is the Day of Atonement ... on which expiation is made on your behalf before the Lord." (Leviticus 23:27-28) We should have been overwhelmed with the knowledge that none of us is altogether righteous, none of us has never sinned. We have all yielded to temptations, we have all been consumed by conflict. We have all misused the gifts that we have been given: mind, body and spirit.

But Yom Kippur is a happy day, one on which we atone with God and hopefully receive forgiveness from those people whom we have hurt. We are given yet another chance, another year, to do better.

The following is one of the personal prayers that may be added to the daily Silent Amidah. It is from Siddur Sim Shalom, the Conservative movement's prayer book for Shabbat, festivals and weekdays. The first four sentences are particularly relevant to keeping the spirit of the High Holidays in mind year round:

"My God, keep my tongue from evil, my lips from lies. Help me ignore those who slander me. Let me be humble before all. Open my heart to Your Torah, so that I may pursue Your mitzvot. Frustrate the designs of those who plot evil against me. Make nothing of their schemes. Do so because of Your compassion, Your power, Your holiness and Your Torah. Answer my prayer for the deliverance of Your people. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You, my Rock and my Redeemer. He who brings peace to His universe will bring peace to us and to all the people Israel. Amen."

The concepts of this prayer should appeal to even those who do not believe in God, for surely everyone can appreciate the merits of thoughtful speech, humility and the performance of good deeds. Imagine if these were everybody's goals in life.

We are blessed with the ability to communicate quickly with many people, no matter where they live in the world. But this technology can also be used inappropriately: it can be used to harm others, intentionally or inadvertently. Just as something, once said, cannot be taken back, once the return key has been hit, an e-mail cannot be retrieved. The time for sober second thought is before we speak and before we hit send.

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