Naughty, but really quite nice

RON FRIEDMAN

Pornographic films aren't usually well known for their rich plotlines, the stories tend to be mere filler for the sex scenes. But in 2001, theatre producer Susan Schwartz and director Erica Shmidt decided to adapt the 1978, low-budget, but highly successful, Debbie does Dallas into an onstage musical. The result, Debbie does Dallas the Musical, is a remake of a bad porn film, put to music – and without the sex.

The original production did fairly well when it debuted at the New York Fringe Festival and, since then, has been viewed by audiences around the world. The show recently opened in Vancouver, produced by locally based Pickled Productions and featuring mostly local and Canadian talent.

The play tells the story of Debbie Benson (played by Jamie Robinson), a small town girl and high school cheerleader, who, despite her parent's disapproval, dreams of becoming a professional cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys' football team. When she learns that she's been accepted to the squad, the problem arises as to how she'll pay for her trip to Dallas and her stay there. Luckily for her, the other girls from school agree to join her on her adventure and all agree to take on part-time jobs in order to help finance the trip.

Early on the girls realize that they won't be able to raise enough money from hourly wages at the candle store or meagre sums for washing neighborhood cars. When Debbie's boss makes her a lurid offer to show him her breasts for 10 dollars, she has an epiphany and breaks out in song.

Her acquiescence leads to a slippery slope. Debbie and the girls quickly find out that they can earn lots more money by granting small sexual favors for lustful older men than they can by working other jobs. Reasoning that they're only doing things that they do with their boyfriends anyways, they open a company called Teen Services and start raking in the money.

While Debbie does Dallas the Musical is heavy on sexual innuendo and risqué sexual situations, it is surprisingly tame by modern standards. The buildup is immense, people are given bananas upon entering the theatre and the pre-show introduction warns that you will leave the show dripping wet, but what you actually see can only be described as anti-climatic. There is more skin revealed in any given night of primetime network television than in the whole play. Still, the show is not suitable for children and even bashful adults may want to pass up on this one.

Saying that you're going to see Debbie does Dallas for the songs is like saying that you read Playboy for the articles, but the music really is the best part of the show. Especially good are the performances of Lee McKeown (who plays Lisa, the bitchy cheerleader) and Adam Lolacher (Debbie's boyfriend, Rick).

The show runs at 7 p.m. from Nov. 27 to Dec. 15 at Odyssey Night Club. There is a matinée on Saturday, Nov. 24, at 2 p.m. Tickets are $26 at www.ticketstonight.ca.

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