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May 24, 2013

Where young people find a home

Community leaders struggle to successfully engage those in their 20s and 30s in Jewish life.
VIOLETA MOUTAL

In the midst of demographic changes, decreased religious observance and greater assimilation, Jewish organizations across North America have been working to ensure Jewish continuity. The collective efforts of these organizations and their constituents have positively impacted the lives of generations of Jews and have changed the social landscape of North American Jewry and its connection to Israel.

Jewish education, a core Jewish value and a foundation for continuity, remains an essential component of programs and initiatives targeted to all age groups. The scope of programs for children up to bar- and bat-mitzvah age is especially intense. The challenges become more difficult when young people enter high school and then move into post-secondary institutions and the workforce. Many Jewish young adults have few opportunities to live and breathe Judaism in their daily lives, unless they are traditionally observant. If they are disconnected, they may search for meaning and belonging elsewhere, and this possibility is a continuing concern.

To address the problem, communities have been trying to establish activities and organizations to get young adults back into the synagogue, Jewish social circles, and back into Jewish life in general. Many of these programs take into account current techno-social and demographics trends, and individual community profiles. While the solutions offered differ in content and approach from community to community, all address the same question: Where can young adults find a home in the Jewish community?

From a psychological perspective, there is broad agreement that it is essentially the 20s and 30s that constitute “early adulthood,” the basis for what psychologist Daniel J. Levinson, one of the founders of the field of positive adult development, calls “the Dream,” a vision of one’s life goals that provide motivation and enthusiasm for the future. Another psychologist, Erik Erikson, describes early adulthood as a stage of “identity crisis and role confusion” emerging from deciding a career direction, finding a key relationship, leaving home, getting married and starting a family. There is also a parallel pursuit for the formulation of a set of moral values that stems from the ideological mind of the adolescent and gives way to that ethical sense, which is the mark of the adult being.

Many community leaders are seeking ways not only to support and coach individuals through the challenges they face, but also to provide them with a sense of belonging. As an umbrella organization, the Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver (JFGV) attempts to bring together local leaders who share the goal of meeting the needs of young adults. JFGV’s manager of young adult initiatives, Dana Troster, a young adult herself, moved to Vancouver seeking employment and a Jewish connection.

Troster’s committee members are also young Jewish adults who come together to create meaningful opportunities for themselves and their peers. The committee is working on revamping its name, mission statement and branding, as well as developing a dedicated young adults’ virtual Jewish marketplace to house in one place ongoing and new initiatives in Vancouver. A similar model was the offspring of the Jewish Federation of San Diego’s 2030 Project, under the leadership of Vancouver-born and -raised Rabbi Janice Elster. In San Diego, this works as a one-stop shop, a central portal for young adult groups where members can go for information, communication and collaboration between groups, something that, surprisingly, had never been done before in an organized fashion. “Obviously, there are other Internet resources for this, but no other place where it all comes together with an age cohort,” said Elster. “Young adults want one place to access all of it.”

Given that people today move frequently and marry later in life to pursue personal and professional growth and financial stability, Troster said she wants to find new avenues to engage young adults in meaningful and creative ways. “Changing demographics warrant the need for us to engage in long-term planning to ensure a future generation of leaders,” she said. “We want young adults to engage in building the kind of community that has meaning for them, rather than us building it for them. The question to ask is, what do 20s and 30s local young adults need? We must also remain inclusive of newcomers, intermarried couples and young parents, so they, too, can find connection and a home in the local community.”

During 2012, JFGV sponsored two significant leadership-training opportunities. The first subsidized the participation of eight local young adults in TribeFest in Las Vegas in March, a conference attended by 1,500 North American peers who came together to explore, learn and engage in all things Jewish. The second subsidized the registration of nine participants in a Canadian national young leadership conference in Montreal recently; they were joined by 130 peers from across the country. This symposium brought together young Jewish leaders ages 25-45 to network, gain skills and share ideas about Jewish leadership.

JFGV also funded the opening of Canada’s first Moishe House in May of 2011, an American initiative that provides Jewish experiences for young adults in their 20s. The Moishe House model trains, supports and sponsors young Jewish leaders to create home-based communities for their peers. Moishe House tenants are offered subsidized rent in exchange for organizing and leading five community programs per month. Working together as a team, residents plan and host a diverse range of low-barrier religious, cultural and social events, including Shabbat dinners, holiday celebrations, tikkun olam projects and more.

The recently announced JFGV initiative, Axis, is the product of the effort put in by Troster’s young adult initiatives committee to re-envision and rebrand. “Geared to the next generation of Jews in Vancouver,” according to their website, Axis will seek to empower young people to become passionate community builders. Axis’ launch will take place June 27, 8 p.m., at CBC Studio 700, and is open for anyone in their 20s and 30s to attend.

Another young adult outreach initiative in the city is Temple Sholom Synagogue’s Next Generation Group led by Rabbi Carey Brown. After moving to Vancouver in 2010 with her husband and their two children, Brown became assistant rabbi at the synagogue. Her priorities regarding young adults are to reach out to unaffiliated and disconnected youth to provide points of access. She believes that, due to rising costs of living, young people are moving away from the city, which makes bringing them together so that they can meet and interact even more challenging – but it’s a responsibility that she thinks the community as a whole bears. The Next Generation Group has a Facebook page with 300-plus friends, about 75 to 100 of whom are active members, Brown said.

On Vancouver’s Westside, Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu of the Ohel Ya’akov Community Kollel has been opening the Kollel’s doors wide for more than a decade every Friday night and on holidays to welcome people from all walks of life, backgrounds and age groups.

“Since its opening 12 years ago, 60-plus couple relationships that started under this roof moved on to the chuppah,” the rabbi shared. The Kollel’s programming specifically targets young adults, especially the unaffiliated, who come in large numbers to partake in the Kollel’s classes, lectures, retreats, dinners and pub nights.

Yeshayahu said that the Kollel is an inclusive place for young Jews to call home. “I make sure everyone feels at home in the first five minutes they walk in,” he explained. “I do my best to take people under my wing and help them as needed with business networking, employment, accommodation and emotional support. I cater to their social and emotional needs and provide them with intellectual and spiritual opportunities to grow – all because we care.”

He added, “Vancouver is a hard city to build community in, and young adults, in particular, have difficulty dating and finding mates. They are caught between two worlds and do not know how to bridge the gap. Culturally speaking, everyone lives a private life, and there is a big need to bring people together to share a Shabbat or holiday meal together, mingle and find common ground. Another big problem is that a lot of Jewish people have a negative taste of Judaism and its association with burden, blame, guilt and pressure. In contrast, I want everyone to celebrate their Jewish identity and demonstrate that Jewish learning is positive, fun, meaningful and enriching. By offering a welcoming reception and a meaningful community experience, we have succeeded in attracting young adults from many different backgrounds, even those with preconceived negative notions of Jewish establishments.”

It can be difficult for newcomers to integrate into a group and the Kollel makes a concerted effort to build a sense of community. This requires time, effort and resources, Yeshayahu continued, but it pays off. “Once a connection is established, people just show up – locals, newcomers and travelers, and many friendships and interest groups are formed. It is fascinating to see the transformation from strangers to friends, from loneliness to connectedness.”

Rabbi Laura Duhan Kaplan of Or Shalom Synagogue believes that Jewish leaders see young adults as “the next generation” that is expected to maintain our institutions. Or Shalom’s YAC (young adult community) has approximately 40 members.

“While on one hand, this is a realistic expectation reflective our commitment to cultivate a lasting Jewish community,” she said, “on the other hand, there is a tendency to focus outreach on programs and activities that meet the needs of the institutions rather than the needs of young adults themselves. I feel strongly that the best outreach model is to invite young adults to self-organize and explore ideas and experiences of interest to them, with the synagogue offering support and guidance when asked. This is a bit scary for institutional leaders, but it does encourage ongoing vibrant young adult leadership. Youth-led movements like Habonim Dror are good examples of this. Young adults who can express their enthusiasm and creativity in these settings often go on to become mature community leaders.”

According to Duhan Kaplan, some young Jews may find it challenging to “fit in” for a number of reasons. “Like many young adults, our youth cohort faces economic challenges, and feels uncomfortable being unable to participate financially in Jewish institutions,” she said. “Also, even when individuals want to marry other Jews, only a small pool of people is available from which to find a compatible mate. A key issue is that they see themselves as pioneers in contemporary thought, and Jewish institutions as inherently conservative. Many are frustrated that support for Israel is often defined as supporting only one end of Israel’s diverse political spectrum.”

Rabbi Binyomin Bitton, spiritual leader of Chabad of Downtown, said that his programs are uniquely catered to the growing cadre of young Jewish professionals living and working in downtown Vancouver. Bitton and his wife, Malky, open their home monthly to more than 20 fellow young adults who come to socialize, study and discuss topics of interest chosen by the group, including such subjects as love, intimacy, ethics and values, in addition to Torah, Talmud and kabbalah. “It is amazing to see the natural bond that occurs among the group going well beyond small talk, when people come together in a private and meaningful setting, and that is what we are trying to achieve, and we do it with full hearts,” said Bitton.

“A lot of young adults express having a difficulty finding mates and establishing meaningful relationships, but that is not the root of the problem,” he added. “Social events are good for mingling, yet they lack the intellectual and spiritual component to foster meaningful connections. While some of these individuals have become financially secure professionals, many lack a sense of direction in life and the maturity to make decisions and make commitments. The role of Chabad of Downtown is to provide them with opportunities to delve into Torah-based lectures and discussions that foster their spiritual and moral growth, that allow them to become better people to then make better life choices.”

Another initiative of Chabad of Downtown is the Sunshine Club program. The club is managed by a committee of young adult volunteers who are matched with local seniors. The pairs spend time together getting to know each other, and volunteers help with chores, transportation and shopping. “These beautiful connections are a mutual gift, in that they provide young people the opportunity to practise chesed and ahavat Yisrael,” Bitton noted. “This exchange not only shines a light to both sides, but also affords them the unique opportunity to role play and develop the empathy of being a grandparent or a grandchild in the absence of a role model.”

From the perspective of Congregation Beth Israel’s former young adults outreach director, Mijael Lacher, who has since returned to Argentina, “There is much to be done before we can say that our local Jewish young adults are finding a home in the community. One of the challenges is that the community has grown, and there is a communication gap between organizations. We also have high expectations and forget that it is hard for young adults to get involved in synagogue life while building their lives.”

While working at BI, Lacher reached out regularly to 250-300 young adults through phone, e-mail and Facebook, and he said he was proud of what was being accomplished. He believes that social programming ought to precede spiritual and community engagement, as many young adults will come out to have a good time mingling while sharing Shabbat and holidays.

Violeta Moutal is a Vancouver freelance writer.

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