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May 9, 2008
Motherhood changes
Creative writing courses help guard memories.
NICOLE NOZICK
I knew straightaway that I'd come to the right house – the red- and white-striped swing hanging on the branch of a sturdy Maple was a dead giveaway. Cori Howard, award-winning writer, broadcast journalist, publicist and full-time mom, opened the door with a warm and engaging smile that quickly banished the blustery weather outside. Inside her cozy home, Howard's two young children, Ty and Jaza, were playing with their father on the couch. We left them all behind and made our way to a nearby coffee shop for a chat about Howard's changing career and her most recent endeavor, the Momoir Project.
"When Ty was born six years ago," said Howard, "my world changed overnight, 360 degrees." In her "life-before-kids," Howard was one of those typical jet-setting journalists you hear about, zooming around the world from one exotic location to another, writing stories from Costa Rica, South America, Asia, footloose and fancy free, living the high life. "I never assumed I'd do anything differently," she said, taking a sip of a frothy latte. "I just figured I'd have a child, and get back to work once my year of maternity leave was over."
But the birth of her child changed her forever. "By the time I was halfway through the year, I knew something inside me had changed completely and I could never go back to that lifestyle. I had become a mother, and my new reality hit me like a ton of bricks."
Howard and her partner, Burmese-born Mya Thaung, struggled to come up with a "Plan B" and soon she was scrambling to make the changes she felt in her heart she had to make. "I went back to work at the CBC briefly, spending most of my day close to tears, feeling torn, confused and guilty," she said, getting teary as she remembered. "I knew it was impossible to be a good mother and a good journalist; something had to give. What frightened me most was that my ambition deserted me completely, replaced with an all-consuming yearning to be with my child. I didn't recognize the person I had become. It was an exceptionally difficult time."
But once Howard made the decision to quit her job and listen to her heart, she felt as if a burden was lifted. The challenge became how to make a living while being a stay-at-home mom. "I had to recreate myself," she admitted, "and it was a big transition."
Howard instinctively turned to other mothers to see how they had coped with similar conflicting life-changes. After all, she wasn't the first new mother to feel torn between career and parenting. Strategically, she asked some of her friends in the media world to "write the truth about motherhood" and they responded eagerly. This exploration formed the basis for her first project, editing Between Interruptions, the first anthology of Canadian writing about motherhood. Published by Key Porter Books in November 2007, the nonfiction collection was a success, striking a deep chord with readers, and was soon on the national bestseller list. Standout contributions include journalist Marina Jimenez's struggle with her decision to return to reporting from a war zone, singer Chantal Kreviazuk's surrender to the limitations of motherhood and Fashion magazine editor Leanne Delap's confession of letting the glamor of a high-profile job get the better of her marriage and parenting.
"I turned motherhood into a business," said Howard with a smile. "It seemed the most natural thing to do – to combine my two passions – my children and my writing. I knew I had to be true to these passions to be true to myself."
Now, Howard has a new venture. The Momoir Project is a series of creative writing workshops tailored specifically for mothers of all ages and stages. She explains that the idea came to her when she realized she had started to forget. "My memories of motherhood are so precious," she said, "from the birthing of my babies, to watching them grow and learn every day. But it's hard to remember those moments, and forgetting made me sad. I knew there were lots of mothers out there like me, whose unique memories should be committed to posterity." And so began the Momoir Project.
"Whether writing as a keepsake for yourself or your children, or wanting to get your story published, the workshops will help mothers translate their personal experiences of motherhood into a memorable piece of work, from short stories to personal essays to books," Howard explained.
The response to this fledgling project has been enthusiastic. The University of British Columbia will soon host a series, and a number of coffee shops across the city have welcomed the idea of hosting workshops on their premises.
Congregation Beth Israel will also host a series of Momoirs workshops beginning in May – just in time for Mother's Day. BI program director Gaynor Levin is excited about the venture.
"I heard about Cori because of her amazing book," said Levin. "When she told me about the Momoir Project, I knew it would appeal to mothers in the Jewish community." In response to Levin's request, Howard has tailored a series of workshops with Jewish mothers in mind. "All mothers share a common bond," said Howard, "but the BI group will share an extra commonality. The classes will explore our identity as Jewish mothers, as well as other issues like ambition, marriage, identity, guilt and expectations." Howard attended Congregation Beth Israel Sunday school as a child. In fact, the popular BI baby club is named in honor of her grandmother, Sarah Baker.
For more information about Howard or to reserve a space at the BI Momoirs workshop series, which starts May 14, call 604-731- 4161 or visit www.themomoirproject.com.
Nicole Nozick is head of the Cherie Smith JCC Jewish Book Festival.
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