Mothers' lessons

JOAN G. FRIEDMAN

Every Mother's Day, I would draw a picture for Grandma. When presenting her with this incredible gift, I would sit on her lap and explain my art to her. Grandma was always interested, always had time for my sometimes-long explanations.

We had a special bond, we two. She was my mother's mother, but we shared secrets and make-up, and that wonderfully soft powder puff. When I see that facial powder in the stores, I always have to get close to it. It smells like Grandma. That, and the wonderful baking aroma of tzimmes!

We spent one Mother's Day with her after she had suffered a long illness. She died that night. Had we not been with her on Mother's Day, it would have been twice as hard. Unfortunately, I never gave her more than pictures. I was too young when she died.

My mother was always the most unselfish of people. She always was there to help everyone. She worked side by side with Daddy for the first few years of starting our family business, and she would rush home to meet me after school every day. Naturally, she did all the cooking and cleaning, and took care of all of us.

She never yelled at us or hit us and she never put anyone in a time-out chair. How did she ever survive? Speaking softly seemed to take care of everyone. How did she learn to be such a wonderful mother?

We don't learn it at school. We can't take classes – unless we combine psychiatrist-nursing-cooking-sewing-ironing-cleaning-carpool-shopping-decorating-management – and especially – listening classes. Aren't mothers amazing? They know how to do everything – and so well! I wish I could give my mother a fitting present for Mother's Day. Instead, I will place a stone next to her name.

I am an OK mother; after all, I learned from the best. I am blessed with a wonderful family. And with every gesture and remark my daughter makes, I will hear my mother – so actually, she will be with me once again. On Mother's Day, I have a special ritual. I am so fortunate; my children and grandchildren will have dinner with me. My grandchildren will draw me a picture. Then they will sit on my lap and explain their art. Isn't that the best part of being a grandma?

Joan G. Friedman, the former editor of Shalom newspaper in Reading, Penn., can be reached at[email protected].

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