The life blood of Louis Brier

KATHARINE HAMER SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH BULLETIN

You want me to tell you a joke?" is the first thing Miriam Matoff asked me when I walked into the gift shop she has been running out of the Louis Brier foyer for the past 20 years.

"Sure," I said, and Matoff launched into a gag about the newlywed who calls her mother after the honeymoon, crying about her husband using four-letter words all the time.

"What four-letter words?" the mother asks. "Bake. Cook. Shop."

Matoff chuckles to herself as she relays the punchline. At 96, she's probably older than many of the home's residents, but she's lost none of her energy.

To Matoff, the gift shop is like the centre of the Louis Brier: a place where residents can come to browse or simply to chew the fat.

"It isn't only buying and selling," she said. "I want them to feel that they know somebody here that's not strange. I like to cheer them up. They come in to complain about something, maybe the chicken they had for dinner. I have one in here every day at 12 o'clock sharp, she comes in to complain."

Matoff has candles, candies and cards on display. Bouquets of fabric flowers and even a battery-operated Mexican bear that plays mariachi tunes. All of the proceeds from the gift shop, which sells its goods at wholesale prices, go towards medical equipment.

"Nobody's got what I've got," she asserted, "And I don't have to charge an arm and a leg, because I don't pay rent. You tell them, I've got English bone china that sells for $6 apiece, and I've got it for $3."

Matoff is one of 200 volunteers whose dedication is the lifeblood of the Louis Brier.

"They're incredible people – I can't say that enough," said Patricia Nitkin, manager of therapeutic, recreation, culture and volunteer services. Up to now, Nitkin has been in charge of the home's volunteers – but the volunteer program has become so successful that a new full-time volunteer co-ordinator, Martha Guss, has just taken over the job.

Nitkin says many of the volunteers have – or used to have – a family member living at the Louis Brier. For others, "They want to be part of the Jewish community in the way that they're giving something and our culture is such that the elderly are to be respected and to be treated with care – so I think they come knowing it's a great mitzvah to do so," said Nitkin.

Free escort service

Murray Belkin is 88, something he conceded reluctantly, claiming that if he tells me his age he might lose his escort licence. For the past three years, Belkin has been accompanying residents to doctor's appointments. He also helps out with Oneg Shabbat on Fridays. He's one of a handful of volunteers whose phone number the Louis Brier staff knows by heart. He's always prepared to give up his time and many of the residents, according to Nitkin, will actually change their appointment times so Belkin can go with them in a taxi or the home's HandyDart bus.

He's modest about his volunteer work and how much it means to the residents. "I just say I'm lucky that I can do it. I'm fortunate. I'm still healthy and capable of helping somebody else. That's what we're here for. We're all supposed to help each other."

He told me that a week earlier, he brought a resident back and was offered a cheque.

"I says to them, 'Is it a million dollars?' " Belkin recalled. "They says, 'I don't have it,' and I says, 'I don't accept less than that.' "

What size underwear?

Like Belkin, Marian Dewitt is one of the residents' favorites. Originally from Danzig, Germany, Dewitt has been living in Vancouver since 1952. She first began coming to the Louis Brier while her husband was a resident. After he passed away a year and a half ago, she kept up her volunteering because, "I felt that this was a part of my daily routine and family."

Dewitt also accompanies residents to medical appointments, as well as on day trips to the beach, the Vancouver Jewish Film Festival, and Oakridge Mall. Sometimes on shopping expeditions, she gives fashion advice.

"The immediate decisions are 'What color?' or 'What size of underwear?' " she said. "It's a full-time job. It takes two hours. If we go shopping it's a one-on-one. Shopping, you can't take more than one. I tried it once." Afterwards residents will insist on buying her coffee. As a former social worker, Dewitt enjoys the interpersonal contact she has with residents. "I've always done things that are people-connected," she said.

Caron Bernstein started volunteering at the home several years ago.

"I went with residents on bus trips to parks, movies and concerts," she said in a letter to the Bulletin. "I met many of the residents and I always came home just a little bit happier and feeling so glad that I was a Louis Brier volunteer. After several trips, I became one of the gang. I looked forward to the next day trip. I have had the privilege of getting to know many of the residents and have made friends with many of them."

Bernstein urges others to "take a risk" and follow in her footsteps.

"The time you spend there will be very special to you," she added.

Nitkin points out that since the inception of the Louis Brier, there has always been a volunteer component, "but it has grown enormously over the last number of years." Volunteers of all ages help out not just on medical appointments and excursions but with parties, fund-raising, running Shabbat and holiday services, even delivering mail. One volunteer, Ken Schneider, whose mother was once a Louis Brier resident, takes care of all the little things: emptying garbage cans, restocking water glasses, and setting up the twice-weekly evening bingo games. There are also a number of teen programs, including Mini-Makeovers and the Canucks Club, where the generations meet to cheer on the home team. Some students come on school visits and then keep coming on their own.

"They don't have a grandparent living in this city so for them it's like a bubbie or a zayde," said Nitkin.

Alexi Millman is one such teen. The 15-year-old, a Grade 10 student at Point Grey mini, has been coming to the Louis Brier since her grandfather lived here years ago.

"I used to come almost every day after school to visit him," she said. "So I sort of know a lot of the people here." Once a week she comes to play cards or talk to the residents in the activity room.

"I think it's really interesting to talk to them," said Millman. "They all have really good stories to tell, and I think it's a really good learning experience for me. I have to be careful because they don't have all the skills they used to have, even talking ability. You want to talk to them like they're younger, and you have to be careful not to belittle them." She says she doesn't come in enough to have a close relationship with any of the residents, but "they recognize me when I come in and that's one of the big things for me, just that they're happy to see me."

"I think people feel that when they come here, they sort of become a part of the family," said Nitkin. "In terms of a long-term care facility, this is outstanding. The kind of devotion, the kind of family feeling, just the commitment, is very unusual here. It's not a glory kind of thing, but they really make people's lives here better."

Katharine Hamer is a freelance writer living in Vancouver.

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