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May 3, 2002
Orthodox homosexuals?
Israel Consul General Meir Romem talks about current intifada
in historical terms.
CYNTHIA RAMSAY SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH BULLETIN
Sexual immorality is one of the few transgressions for which the
penalty in Judaism is death, according to the Torah. Is it possible
then to be an Orthodox Jew and a homosexual? The documentary film
Trembling Before G-d explores this issue, examing some very
emotional elements, but ultimately leaves the question unanswered.
Produced by Sandi Simcha Dubowski and Marc Smolowitz, Trembling
Before
G-d opens with the prohibitions and punishments for being a
gay or lesbian:
"And if a man who lies with a man as one lies with a woman,
they have both done an abomination: they shall be put to death,
their blood is on them." (Leviticus 20:13) And, while the prohibition
of lesbianism isn't explicitly in the Torah, it is in Jewish law:
"For women to rub against each other in the position of sexual
intercourse is forbidden...." (The Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer
20:2)
Trembling Before G-d then uses stories from Chassidic and
Orthodox Jews who are lesbian or gay to try and resolve the complex
dilemma of how to reconcile a love of Judaism and the divine with
the interdiction of homosexuality.
There is one particularly moving interview with a Charedi woman
who is married and has children. She speaks of how she takes antidepressants
in order to get through her marriage; her husband doesn't want a
platonic relationship and he doesn't want to know about her desires
for women. The stress of leading a double life can be heard in her
voice.
"I'm not advocating gay rights," she says, "It's
not secular versus religious values, yet there's this reality of
being gay and we have to deal with it."
This is easier said than done, however. Many of the people interviewed
in Trembling Before G-d are shown only behind screens or
filmed in such a way that their faces are not shown on camera; they
are obviously not ready to come out to their community. Even those
who are unafraid of speaking directly to the camera are still struggling
with how they fit into Orthodoxy.
"I don't want to be a less-than Jew because I'm gay,"
says David from Los Angeles, who has tried for more than 10 years
to become straight. He says he has only recently accepted that he
won't succeed in changing himself, despite having tried years of
psychotherapy and such rabbinical remedies as eating figs while
citing the Psalms, flicking a rubberband on his wrist or biting
his tongue every time he sees a man to whom he's attracted.
"People who want to stay religious and gay have a great moral
problem and they won't ever be able to sort it out completely,"
believes pschiatrist Dr. Yaakov Meir Weil, who recounts the story
of one of his patients' husbands, who has repressed his homosexual
desires for more than 40 years. To Weil, this is the ideal gay Jewish
life and other rabbis interviewed agreed.
"The sad truth is that many frum [Orthodox] gay people
are badly damaged. They've suffered so many years of torment, of
self-doubt, depression and low self-esteem," says psychotherapist
Shlomo Ashkinazy, adding that it is hard for Orthodox homosexuals
to advocate for their acceptance in society because they don't even
accept themselves.
In addition to homosexual lay people, Trembling Before G-d
includes interviews with experts on the topic, such as Rabbi Steve
Greenberg, identified in the film as the first openly gay Orthodox
rabbi. His comments, however, are disappointing. While he says that
there are different ways of reading the Torah, he never elaborates,
nor does he discuss how he himself reconciles being gay and Orthodox.
Rabbi Shlomo Riskin speaks of homosexuality as being a mistake because
it doesn't lead to the family life that the Torah sees as the foundation
of a holy society. But, in the end, says Riskin, when a rabbi meets
someone who is gay, he sees them as a human being and he sees the
sincerity of their prayers. All a rabbi can do for them is to love
and help, he says, "that's what Judaism is all about."
On May 7, the Documentary Media Society's DOXA Documentary Film
and Video Festival co-presents Trembling Before G-d with
the Vancouver Jewish Film Festival and the Out on Screen Queer Film
and Video Festival at the Ridge Theatre, 7:30 p.m. Dubowski will
be in attendance. For ticket information, call 604-646-3200. (See
also Letters in May 3, 2002, Archives.)
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