March 27, 2009
The meaningful seder
Books, toys and thoughtful reflection on Pesach.
LAUREN KRAMER
After some 36 years of Passover seders, it dawned on me that getting through the Haggadah as fast as possible is the least meaningful way of commemorating this Jewish holiday focused on remembrance.
As a wife and mother who spends umpteen hours shopping for and preparing Passover food, it's not good enough that my family and guests whip through the Haggadah in pursuit of dinner and an early night in bed. If it's not meaningful, the whole exercise may be painfully futile.
So, for the past few years, I've been on a quest to imbue the Passover seders at my home with meaning. I ask my guests for thoughts on various issues we can discuss at the table, I shop for dollar-store gimmicks that will hold the children's interest and I search for new ideas to convey the spirit of Passover at the seder table.
Does it work? Yes and no. Reaching the seder dinner at a reasonable hour is still a priority but how we get to that dinner has changed.
Make a kiddie corner
When you have kids ages 10 and younger, keeping them interested and entertained is key to completing the seder. That's why every year we make a pilgrimage to the dollar store in search of items reminiscent of Passover. The kids' end of the table is decorated with plastic versions of frogs, locusts and bugs, with bouncy balls to signify the hail. By the time the plagues are recited, the kids can better understand them with a tangible toy in hand.
I also like to scatter Passover literature for kids on the table, so if and when they lose interest, they have a relevant book to page through. For kids six and up, invest in a copy of Out of Egypt by Shazak Productions. It lays out the story of Passover in cartoon form, using cool images, an easy dialogue, modernity and chutzpah into its interpretation of the Passover story. Dinosaur on Passover (Kar-Ben Publishing) by Diane Levin Rauchweger and Jason Wolff is great for the younger set, ages three to five. The authors create a dinosaur that surprises a Jewish family with a visit during the holiday. Sammy Spider's First Haggadah (Kar-Ben Publishing) is perfect for kids age five through seven.
Multiple Haggadot
Some families like the reliability of one Haggadah so everyone is reading the same literature, but I like to mix it up with a variety of Haggadot, each boasting something new and different.
One of my all-time favorites is the Katz Passover Haggadah (Feldheim Publishers), whose rich, evocative cover image of Jewish slaves in Egypt makes you want to keep turning the pages. It almost demands you have a child on your lap. The diagrams are both meaningful and explanatory, especially the part about the splitting of the Red Sea, which folds out to form an incredible four-page montage complete with the Jews, the separated ocean and a whale swimming by one of the ocean walls.
For those seeking cerebral interpretations of the various passages, pick up a copy of The Holistic Haggadah (Urim Publications), which offers commentaries for and explanations of the seder. This Haggadah will make you think, compel you to reexamine Passover and inspire some self-reflection.
Contemporary exiles
Passover is the story of the journey from slavery to freedom, but it's a journey that gets travelled each year by people all over the world. One way to make the seder more politically resonant is to discuss more recent exoduses – Jewish or gentile – journeys to freedom. You don't have to look further than the newspaper or the Internet to find many examples and a discussion of more recent exiles can help bring relevance to your seder table.
At last year's seder, I suggested each family prepare to talk for five minutes about a different Jewish exodus in the past 20 years – something the guests at our table might remember from their own lifetime. The complaints heaped in: "We're too busy" and "You're the only one that wants to do this!" Undeterred, I retorted that a few minutes of research wasn't comparable to prepping the kitchen for Passover and making the meal. That little Jewish guilt went a long way.
Only a few families participated in our seder but, during the meal, everyone's attention was riveted as we heard about the exodus of Jews from South Africa, Yemen and other parts of the world. There was no furtive checking of Blackberrys at the table and, as I watched the kids play with their frogs and the adult discussion unfold, I thought to myself: mission accomplished! For this year, at any rate.
Lauren Kramer is a Vancouver freelance writer.
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