Whither the mother?

Editor:

I have never written a letter to the editor of the Independent before, but I find I am unable to let pass the unbalanced reporting in your Feb. 16 issue ("How to be a really great dad").

Let me first say that I was relieved and delighted to see the story and enormous photo. It has been weeks since the last report of the Berger family's news and I was beginning to worry. He never calls, he never e-mails and I have reason to believe he has been carrying around for weeks a probably now-dog-eared thank-you note for a lovely baby gift.

However, I was concerned by the approach of the article. While the writer purports to be an engaged, concerned father, the depiction of the unnamed mother as an angry, intolerant force to be reckoned with betrays a clear sense of bias. It is my experience that the mother in this story is at least as pleasant and good-natured as the father, if not far more so. If there is a "dog house" to be inhabited, one might infer a just sentence.

I was also concerned that the father, while cavalierly holding his baby with two oddly splayed fingers, is also credited with taking the photograph, suggesting a multitasking overextension unbecoming a responsible parent. I am reminded of the one-handed Michael Jackson incident. In his defence, the father-writer appears in an Old Navy T-shirt, suggesting an appreciation for value (see article by same author in the Bulletin, March 7, 2003, comparing costs at Old Navy versus the Gap) that reflects a frugality appropriate to a responsible young family.

Finally, I might suggest that, in the interest of balanced reporting, that we hear the mother's perspective on this whole parenting and marriage experience. Now that would be a story worth reading!

Pat Johnson
Delta

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