It's our DIY editorial!

For 77 years now, this newspaper has been publishing weekly editorials that have made a tremendous impact on the Canadian body politic. Now, for the first time, we present the template upon which these profound and influential weekly missives are based, so you can make Jewish Independent editorials of your very own!

Step 1: Start with a topic. Look in today's newspaper and find something that makes you feel angry, sad, happy or anything at all.

Step 2: Open your laptop. Write two paragraphs outlining the issue.

Step 3: Spend the next two paragraphs explaining why the issue is misunderstood/misinterpreted/mismanaged.

Step 4: Insert an unexpected, sly, cynical witticism. ("You think the Knesset is a free-for-all? You should see the editorial meetings we sit through!")

Step 5: Return to seriousness. Express an emotion. Anger is ideal. White-hot outrage is better. Self-righteousness is handy. Smugness is unavoidable. Every six weeks, acknowledge you are too negative and find something to be cheery about.

Step 6: Open a thesaurus and pile on the adjectives. Outlandish slander. Anti-Zionist extremism. Repugnant exploitation. Despicable actions. Laughable dialectics. Heretical mendacity.

Step 7: Realize that the editorial needs only a tangential connection that makes it relevant to a Jewish newspaper. Dig up a sage quote that draws a Jewish parallel to the issue. ("As Maimonides said....")

Step 8: Conclude with pithy summation or call to action. ("What do you think of them apples?" "Why hasn't [insert individual or institution to blame] done anything/said anything/issued a report on this?" "Put down this newspaper, get off your tuches and do something!" "Nuff said.")

Step 9: Rest easy, knowing your 700 words have had an appreciable impact on the direction of the world.

Step 10: Wait seven days. Repeat.

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