The definition of self

BASYA LAYE

New York
Creativity is the stories we tell ourselves to liberate ourselves," explained author Erica Jong, adding that women face unique challenges in the creative process.

Jong was speaking at a YIVO Institute for Jewish Research roundtable discussion last week titled Self-Conceptions: Creativity, Women and Jewish Identity. The March 8 event in New York was timed to coincide with the publication of Jong's latest work, a memoir called Seducing the Demon: Writing for My Life.

Billed as a provocative discussion spanning perspectives from secular to Orthodox-Chassidic, the evening was attended by a diverse group of approximately 150 people. Joining Jong on the panel was her daughter, novelist Molly Jong-Fast, author and critic Daphne Merkin and noted lecturer on Jewish women's issues, Bronya Shaffer. The dicussion was moderated by filmmaker and author Joanna Lipper.

The four panellists set out to explore questions of identity, such as What makes a Jewish woman and, more importantly, what makes a creative Jewish woman?

Each panellist provided valuable insight into what it means to be a Jewish woman actively engaged in the creative process. They focused their discussion around some key themes, considering the universal topics of marriage, divorce, motherhood and female sexuality. Most significantly, they viewed these broader themes through the lens of Judaism, framing their perspectives in a way that was uniquely Jewish, carefully considering the tension between the secular and religious Jewish viewpoints and the construction of the self.

Lipper opened the discussion with an excerpt from the autobiography of a young woman, which is found in the anthology Awakening Lives: Autobiographies of Jewish Youth in Poland Before the Holocaust . Writing under a pseudonym, the young woman declares, "I remain in this world of narrow duties." Feeling constrained and forbidden to disclose openly, she testifies to the need for duplicity and ambiguity in her autobiographical writing. Lipper asked the evening's participants to relate their experiences with incidences of self-disclosure in their work. The panellists agreed that, for women, the act of writing should be viewed as protest and as an act of liberation. They argued that living in a culture that implicitly views women as lesser and limited, writing can be the act that liberates women's voices and actively allows for the recognition of self.

The women engaged numerous assumptions about creativity and Jewish identity from the outset. Although she grew up in a very secular environment, Jong said she always "felt fierce pride" in her Jewish identity, growing up on the upper west side of Manhattan, surrounded by Jewish artists and musicians. Jong adamantly asserted that, in her opinion, the Orthodox Jewish world does not allow for women's self-expression or disclosure. In the Orthodox world, she said, "having a self is forbidden, nice girls don't have fantasies" and they are ambivalent about their sexuality. These are beliefs that Jong has repeatedly addressed and challenged in her fiction, poetry and nonfiction.

Merkin provided a more nuanced view of the tensions between the religious and the secular in her creative process. However, she agreed that women in the Orthodox world are limited in their right to self-expression, often choosing - or being forced - to self-censor for fear of not being "good." She agreed with Jong that Jewish women are encouraged to "write nice things [and not] embarrass the family."

But Shaffer countered that Torah values are not in and of themselves an impediment to the construction of the self for Jewish women. A mother of 10 and a resident of the ultra-Orthodox enclave of Borough Park in Brooklyn, she insisted that, in her experience, orthodoxy does not deny the female self, but that the task is to find a constructive way to balance the secular and the religious worlds in order for women to develop independent "whole, wholesome selves."

Shaffer seemed to surprise the panelists and the audience when she affirmed the "halachic necessity to create and experience a wholeness of self." Only when this wholeness is recognized, she said, can a woman achieve full intimacy with her husband and only then will she "never be compromised by her relationship with a man."

A humorous discussion of the impact of relationships, sexuality, divorce and motherhood ensued and Jong, who has been married four times, was relieved to discover that divorce is considered a mitzvah under Jewish law.

All four women presented themselves as people struggling to balance their expectations of womanhood and relationships, as well as their Jewish identities in ways that further their creative goals and their personal journeys of self-discovery.

Basya Laye is director of programs at the Foundation for Ethnic Understanding in New York City.

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