The dirty truth in Disherwashers

BAILA LAZARUS

There is a part in Max Ehrmann's Desiderata that reads, "Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time."

It also says to speak your truth quietly and to exercise caution in your business affairs, but let's not worry about that for the purpose of this play.

What Ehrmann was trying to convey in his 1920s poem is the same message the character Dressler (Stephen E. Miller) is trying to convey to each new dishwasher that comes his way in the hilarious Morris Panych play Dishwashers, now showing at the Arts Club Theatre. Dressler is a dishwashing veteran, a real dishwasher's dishwasher – pride in the work, don't give him no attitude and you'll get along fine.

Along comes Emmett (Ted Cole) or, as Dressler refers to him, New Guy, an ex-businessman of some type. (One of the weaknesses of the play is that his previous job is never referred to in much more than vague terms leaving the audience to wonder constantly what he used to do.) Emmett has lost all his money and now seeks employment scrubbing greasy foie gras off fine china.

Rounding out the play's quartet are Shawn Macdonald as Moss, a cancer-ridden, walking corpse who chain-smokes and needs to wear an oxygen tank, but who is by far the most comic character in the play; and Toby Berner as Burroughs, the new guy who replaces New Guy, and who can actually act.

OK, that's mean. But, honestly, acting is not the strong point in this play; the writing is.

Miller does a fine guy-in-charge, waxing on philosophically about life, the universe and everything. At one point, he likens people to crème brulé – where you must dig beneath the crusty exterior in order to find the sweet softness inside.

He's brash and pushy but seems to really want people to take pride in their dishwashing and see the job as "a real possession."

Dressler's position in the group is defined to Emmett when Dressler explains the ropes. Until he is accepted, Emmett will be called New Guy.

"When I say 'Hey Emmett,' it'll be a moment," Dressler tells Emmett, with extra meaning in his voice, making it all the more hilarious because he is such a gruff character. That will be the time Emmett has been accepted as a real dishwasher. This, of course, never happens because Emmett is too consumed with feeling sorry for himself and is constantly searching for a "way in" to the world upstairs, where he used to eat.

Despite Emmett's constant gloominess, Dressler still tries to teach with enthusiasm.

"Get to know your enemy," Dressler says, as he gets Emmett to run his hand over a plate of dried food. "If one dirty dish gets through, we all go down.... We are like the foundations of this building – unseen reliability."

The experience in the restaurant upstairs is supposed to be so pleasant and ethereal, Dressler explains, "You want the customer to leave here feeling like they've never been."

Dressler's ultimate goal is to get his co-workers not to think of dishwashing as manual labor.

"I don't see a stack of plates; I see an Olympic stadium with 10,000 people. I see judges who are marking how well you do."

He talks about the dishes and plates as though they were alive, referring to the cutlery as "militia" standing at shiny attention. "I'm so proud of those little guys," he says, almost tearfully.

Added to Dressler's philosophical observations are some absolutely hilarious one-liners.

"We're working our way up," Moss says about his career plan. "Except for the 'up' part."

When Dressler goes on about life and dreams, he says, "As you grow older, your dreams get smaller, until they're just wishes, like, 'Oh, I hope that car doesn't splash me.' "

On making a living, Dressler expounds, "Work, that's all there is. Work, death, the rest is a detour."

Despite the wonderful writing, the play suffers a huge difficulty due to the miscasting (or misdirecting) of Cole as Emmett. He is a had-it-all-lost-it-all businessman who has been forced to seek funds through menial labor and now has to take orders from someone he considers to be a loser dishwasher. He should be seething with feelings of injustice, teeth clenched, hands fisted, just barely containing his emotions, unable to talk back to Dressler because he needs the work. But there is nothing – not a grimace, not a twitch, not a body movement – that demonstrates anything even close. He just stands there as Dressler lectures him, hands limp by his side, face looking like, well, looking like nothing, actually.

Over the course of the play, Emmett is treated to a view of himself as he used to be, and he begins to see the "people upstairs" – those with money, eating in the restaurant – as wasteful, selfish consumers. Cole (who looks, at times, like a very young Alan Alda) starts to gain substance and animation in his acting and, when he finally returns to the restaurant as a successful businessman, he does a fine job as the forlorn, drunken fiancé. But too little, too late, I'm afraid.

Dishwashers runs at the Art Club Granville Island Stage until March 12. Call 604-280-3311 for tickets.

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