Homework without the pain

ADAM GELMON

It's eight o'clock Monday morning and you seem to have everything under control. The kids are fed, lunches are made, after-school uniforms for soccer and dance are packed, the dog's bowl is full and, any moment now, your kids are going to meet you at the door – as soon as they're done fine-tuning their hair.

This is truly an amazing feat. You should be proud. You feel a smile of satisfaction and accomplishment grow across your face as you reflect on your amazing power to mobilize and prepare the troops for the day.

"Mom/Dad." One of your kids is looking up at you, quite red in the face, looking completely terrified and wondering how on earth you could be smiling when something is so obviously wrong. "I need a note so my teacher doesn't kill me for forgetting my homework." You look at the dog for some guidance, wondering how you didn't see this coming, but all she can do is shake her head.

Maybe you can take solace in knowing a version of this scene is played out on a daily basis thousands of times around the globe. Between your children's social life, TV, video games, the latest gossip, intramurals and extracurriculars, it's really a wonder that homework gets done as often as it does.

Sorry, kids, homework isn't going away anytime soon, but there are a few very simple things that parents and children can do to make life a lot easier, and to make those dreaded homework notes from the teacher a relic of the past.

Student agendas have come a long way in recent years. Today's agendas are very kid-friendly. They're full of inspirational quotations, bright colors and helpful tips for school. Unfortunately, they don't come with your child's homework already completed.

Until scientists figure out a way to accomplish this, we have to work with the system we've got. Can you imagine trying to remember all of your daily tasks if you didn't keep a record? Of course not, and neither can your kids. As simple as it sounds, if your children aren't writing in their agendas every day, chances are their homework isn't getting done on a regular basis, or they are relying on their friends – or you – to remind them.

"But I don't have any homework!" There are, of course, days when teachers don't assign homework. That's exactly what should be written in the agenda: "No homework today." After all, we're training our kids to be responsible and to develop good habits. Taking that few extra seconds to write in their agenda at the end of each class will go a long way in alleviating hours of stress and argument. Take this a step further by sitting down with your children on Sunday night and having them write in all of the extracurricular activities they have during the upcoming week.

Agendas are excellent tools for the day-to-day homework, but all too often, it's the big projects and tests that get forgotten. Thankfully, the odds are that someone in your child's social network will mention, "the gigantic project that's due tomorrow," sending the family into an 11th-hour panic mode. As much as you enjoy the extra bonding time with your children, gluing Styrofoam spheres at one in the morning, I'm sure you'd rather eliminate this form of "family time" altogether. A quick and easy solution is to get a large monthly wall calendar. Not the one on your fridge that includes every family function for the month, but one that your child can call their own. Each day, after school, your child's first job should be to make a beeline straight for this calendar and write in the due dates for any tests, projects and assignments that are not required to be handed in the very next day. This is something you need to do together until it becomes second nature.

Stick with the daily routine of keeping your kids on track, and don't take off the training wheels until your children are reminding you about checking the agenda and calendar. Reward your kids when they're using their calendars, and keep them accountable by setting some reasonable consequences in advance, if they should fall into old habits. Everyone might find it helpful to put up a sign that you can all see when you come in the door. A friendly "Homework Check" should do the trick.

Homework doesn't actually have to be a chore. Done right, it can be a time-saver. More often than not, students tend to treat homework assignments as singular events, rather than a gradual reinforcement of skills that often lead up to a culminating evaluation, often in the form of a test. When students begin to understand that homework is useful to them, it often becomes less of a chore. A funny thing happens when students take the time to do their homework thoughtfully: tests, classes and school in general become easier and more rewarding. No less important is the satisfaction that comes from a job well done.

As for the times when your children don't do their homework, the onus also needs to be on the home-to-school communication. Keep the lines of communication open with your child's teacher throughout the year. Don't wait for poor marks to send you into reaction mode, causing you to throw the Playstation out the window and sending your child into solitary confinement.

When kids aren't achieving or working to their potential, they need to feel accountable, but so do we. Teachers and parents are partners in educating students, so send a note, or e-mail, to school in addition to working with your kids at home on a daily basis. This doesn't necessarily mean doing every assignment with them, but it does mean that you should see the homework before it comes back to school. Think of yourselves as quality-control managers. If it's not up to snuff, send it back. Doing work right the first time is so much easier than redoing it three times. Your child will get the message.

Some simple tools with a daily dose of accountability can go a long way to reducing homework stress. Don't wait until the next school year. Start today – your dog will thank you for it.

Adam Gelmon is a teacher at Vancouver Talmud Torah school. He is currently working on his master's degree in education.

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