Youth join Mitzvah Circle

KATHARINE HAMER SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH BULLETIN

"I was actually really nervous going, because I didn't really know what to expect," said 16-year-old Daniel Kofsky. As a mentor to 10-year-old Maxime Deslauriers, Kofsky has a lot of responsibility. Maxime has autism, Tourette's syndrome and attention deficit disorder (ADD) – a condition that Kofsky himself shares. "I have learning disabilities, like dyslexia and ADD."

He wishes he had this kind of support when he was younger. "I'm sure [Max] feels alone sometimes, and that's what I'm here for. That's the whole point."

Kofsky and Deslauriers spend an hour together once a week as part of the Mitzvah Circle, a project of the Ohel Ya'akov Community Kollel. Only four months old, the program matches teenagers from Vancouver Talmud Torah high school with Jewish children experiencing mental or physical limitations. The idea is to create new friendships and reinforce Jewish traditions and culture for children whose special needs don't allow them to attend a Jewish school.

Kofsky was one of several teen volunteers honored at a ceremony in Kitsilano last week. He and his peers were awarded certificates of appreciation by the six-member board of the local Mitzvah Circle.

"What we really want to say is 'Way to go.' Three or four months ago, this was non-existent, and now we have 30-odd people here today, and we're growing, and it's just such an exciting time for us," said Mitzvah Circle board member Mandy Kropman.

The Mitzvah Circle's six board members match up teens with youngsters based on their shared interests and backgrounds, with the support of the Kollel's Rabbi Avraham Feigelstock. So far, the program has four children with special needs enjoying new friendships with five Mitzvah Circle volunteers. A further 10 teenagers are now being trained in communication, listening and sensitivity skills by board member David Berner.

"It's a circle because as much as we give, we get," said Feigelstock at last week's presentation. "We don't realize that we can do that – that we can give some relief, give some support, give some Judaism, to these children. It's not their fault that they have whatever they have. Each one of them is a special soul."

Added Berner, "It's not a terribly elaborate, sophisticated idea: it's simple. It's not going to be an organization that's going to build buildings and raise millions of dollars. It has to keep its eye focused on what the job is, which is young people leading other young people and helping each other."

Deslaurier's younger sister, seven-year-old Simone, also has a learning disability. Through the Mitzvah Circle, she has been paired with 17-year-old Daniel Wiseman. Since Simone really enjoys drawing and painting, she was a perfect match for Daniel, who spends a lot of his spare time doing creative work. The two of them work at arts and crafts with Jewish themes.

"I really like working with kids," said Wiseman, conceding that working with Simone "involves a lot of patience; a lot of listening skills. The first time, there was shyness on both our parts. [Now] I go there and she has a big smile, and it's a lot of fun. I'm learning a lot about communication."

For Leah Deslauriers, Maxime and Simone's mother, having the two boys come to the house has provided a welcome respite. Already she's noticed a change in her children's behavior patterns.

"It's had a calming effect at home," she said. "It's a nice harmony in the house.

"I think it's been very positive. The boys are modelling behavior for them. They're very patient; they never get upset. They always show up on time. It's just fun, there's no pressure. They can play Nintendo, they can talk about the holidays at the same time. It's just someone closer to their own age, not an adult figure, so they enjoy it more – they were willing more to participate."

Kofsky feels like he's the lucky one in his relationship with Maxime Deslauriers.
"I would have thought that I would have taught him more than he taught me, but he's taught me a lot about myself and what I can accomplish.

I honestly have learned a lot from him."

For more information on the Mitzvah Circle, contact the Community Kollel at 604-267-7060.

Katharine Hamer is a Vancouver freelance writer.

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