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July 4, 2003
Matchmaker, matchmaker ...
U.S. documentary gives a candid portrayal of the Jewish dating
scene.
CYNTHIA RAMSAY SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH BULLETIN
The World Wide Web and Nancy Cohen's kitchen in Dallas, Tex., are
just two places that single Jewish men and women can meet each other
in the United States. And, potentially, where they can fall in love,
get married and live happily ever after, thereby doing their part
to preserve the Jewish people.
It is this concern for survival that Rabbi Moshe Levin of La Jolla,
Calif., believes keeps Jews going. Our worry about the future makes
us work hard to make sure that our generation is not the last, Levin
tells Dallas filmmakers Allen Mondell and Cynthia Salzman Mondell
in Make Me a Match, an hour-long documentary that explores
the ways in which Jews are searching for their soulmates.
Featuring both the joys and disappointments of trying to find a
life partner, Make Me a Match introduces viewers to different
styles of matchmaking, including dating services, singles events,
Shabbat dinners and the Internet. It does so through interviews
with shadchanim (matchmakers) and loveseekers, and with behind-the-scenes
looks at how various dating services work, from a Lubavitcher rabbi
and his wife to a group of 24 women that helps people find their
basherte (soulmate).
Make Me a Match is similar to other videos about Jewish singles,
such as Ilan Saragosti's Match Made in Seven. We get to witness
men and women speaking candidly about what they're hoping to find
in a partner, as well as the expectations they feel the opposite
sex has of them. They also share the reasons for which they are
seeking a Jewish partner. For the rabbis and matchmakers, the fight
against assimilation is the biggest motivation; for the singles,
it's more a desire to be with someone who shares their culture and
general set of beliefs.
While there is at least one success story featured in Make Me
a Match – Cohen finds a mate – there is an overall
feeling of desperation and, to be honest, the whole Jewish dating
scene comes off as rather pathetic. The lowpoint is when Crown Heights,
N.Y., shadchan Shimson Stock relates one of his success stories.
A couple that he brought together went out on a first date. Afterward,
the man told Stock that he wasn't interested in the woman. Stock
spoke to the woman and, eventually, they got to talking about what
she had worn on the date: loose, shleppy clothing. This is not what
you wear on a date, says Stock, who then advises her to wear a tight
skirt, something two to three sizes too small. The couple go on
another date, with the woman presumably having followed Stock's
recommendations. Success! The two became engaged. Ugh.
The Mondells have created more than 30 documentaries since founding
Media Projects in 1978. Their work includes Funny Women,
a film about female comedians for the Women's Museum, in association
with the Smithsonian Institution based in Dallas, and West of
Hester Street, a documentary about Jewish immigration from Russia
to Galveston, Tex., in the early 1900s.
Make Me a Match has recently been accepted at the 2003 Melbourne
International Fim Festival. It has already screened at the Vancouver
Jewish Film Festival, as well as festivals in several U.S. states.
It has also been licensed by Israeli television for airing later
this year.
Make Me a Match costs $99 US for synagogues, Jewish community
centres and community organizations; $125 US for museums and universities;
and $25 US for home video users. For more information, call Michael
Edens at Media Projects in Dallas at 214-826-3863 or go online to
www.mediaprojects.org.
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