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Feb. 16, 2007
Dating at every age
You can find a soulmate whether you're 40 or 80.
BAILA LAZARUS
Understanding the ins and outs of dating in general, and Internet
dating in particular, can be demanding at the best of times. If
you're someone who's just getting back into the dating game after
being widowed or divorced, or if you are newly retired and now feel
you want to pursue a serious relationship, it can be harder still.
But there are numerous avenues to pursue and, with an open mind
and sense of adventure, you can find one that will work. The first
thing to know is that there are a variety of dating pathways out
there. From introduction agencies to personal matchmakers, from
social clubs to Internet dating, each one takes a different approach
to finding your basherte. The two most popular areas are the Internet
and personal introduction agencies.
The Internet offers the advantage of being very inexpensive, with
prices starting at monthly rates of about $20-$30, or working by
means of a credit system, where you can contact any individual on
the site for about $2 or $3. But don't balk at paying for a site
that's a little more expensive; it means that those who register
and pay are likely to be more serious in their desire for a relationship.
Here are a few options. If dating someone in the Jewish community
is the most important criteria, try:
• JIsinglesbc.com.
It offers one-month memberships at $33, three months for $66 and
six months for $99.
• JDate.com
offers one month for $35, three months for $100 and six months for
$150.
If you're looking for a website that is focused more on seniors,
visit:
• Seniorpeoplemeet.com.
It offers a monthly rate of $20, six months for $100 and 12 months
for $190. (At the time of writing, the single- and six-month fees
were being offered at half price.)
• Silversingles.com
is $30 for one month, $60 for three months and $75 for five months.
Nowadays, every website has links to pages of advice to help you
get started in writing a profile, tips on what type of photo to
include, and general dating suggestions. You could also work with
a relationship coach or an Internet dating coach, who can help you
put together a profile and navigate through the different sites.
While Internet dating might seem a little foreign or odd, keep an
open mind. It offers the best opportunity for meeting potential
dates at a very reasonable cost. As well, people who have experienced
serious relationships in their lives already, or who are over 45,
often do really well with online dating because they are more sure
about what they want and will be less inclined to play games or
date randomly. Also, if your children are grown and you're not looking
for a serious relationship or marriage, but perhaps a companion,
it's easy enough to say this in your profile in order to draw the
right kind of match.
If you're interested in something more conventional, Vancouver has
numerous introduction agencies that do all the legwork in finding
you a date, just like a traditional matchmaker. Like Fine Wine,
Divine Intervention, Hearts Canada and Classique Introduction all
do lengthy interviews with their clients and set them up on one-on-one
dates with other clients, or people they have found through custom
searches. Old-fashioned matchmaking and gut feelings combine with
modern database technology for successful pairings.
The services aren't inexpensive, however. Prices start at $300 per
month for Classique Introduction to $1,200 as a one-time fee with
Hearts, $2,400 for a year's service with Like Fine Wine and $5,000
for a one-time fee with Divine Intervention.
When looking at agencies, here are some questions to ask:
• Do they do the interview in their office or at your home?
(Those who do it at your home will get a much better idea of your
lifestyle from a more objective point of view.)
• Will they set up the first date for you or do they give you
the information to contact a potential match?
• How detailed are their background checks?
• Do they rely solely on their own membership list as a source
for matches or will they conduct a custom search on your behalf?
• How many introductions do they guarantee? Some will guarantee
an average of one a month, while others guarantee just one, but
emphasize that their detailed search will get you the best chances
of a compatible, long-term match.
Baila Lazarus is a freelance writer and photographer.
More information on Internet dating can be found on her website
at www.tastierdates.com.
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