Dealing with violence

SUSAN KENDAL

On Sunday, Oct. 30, at the University of Victoria, Canadian Hadassah-WIZO of Victoria hosted a public lecture with clinical psychologist Dr. Cindy Weisbart and Whitney Archer from Victoria’s Transition House shelter to discuss the impact of domestic violence on women and children.

Weisbart began her talk with an acknowledgement that domestic violence is a very difficult subject to address. However, even so, the more the public understands what’s at stake, the more that can be done to help those who are being threatened by violence in the home.

Weisbart focused her remarks on women who are the victims of domestic violence. Women, she said, tend not to be the violent aggressors in relationships, partly due to the fact that they are more likely to be the primary family caregivers. The term “domestic violence,” which has been in use a long time, is in the process of shifting to “intimate partner violence,” or IPV, due to a shifting understand of the dynamics of violence in the home. IPV emphasizes the issue of control, whether physical, sexual, verbal or economic. Weisbart stressed that, in whatever form it is manifested, IPV always constitutes illegal behavior.

Children can be profoundly affected by witnessing violence in the home, Weisbart said. As a result of being used as pawns between parents, for example, young children may experience changes of behavior or manifest physical symptoms such as stomachaches, loss of appetite, speech problems and bedwetting. Older children may begin to have problems in school, start lying or have swings in mood and behavior, such as isolating themselves or fighting with others. Crucially, children who experience violence in the home may develop skewed ideas about interpersonal relationships in a family and are at risk, as adults, of continuing the abuse, unaware that the dynamics are abnormal.

Weisbart suggested several ways that family members and friends could help in a situation where abuse is suspected. First, it’s important to listen and learn, she said. Also, it’s good to have information about available local resources and to offer support, which might include a safety “check in.” Also, if asked, be prepared to be part of an emergency escape plan.

Weisbart explained that there is a six-month waiting list for counseling where she works at the Fraser Valley Health Authority, and that she is limited to a maximum of 10 sessions with each client or family, hardly enough time to scratch the surface with a traumatized child.

Ways to help women, children and families more broadly include volunteering at local shelters, supporting legislation to increase funding for mental health services and making donations to local agencies that deal with abuse and domestic violence.

Archer described her experiences working on the children’s team at Transition House. Funded by both the government and private donations, Transition House provides shelter and various services for women and children. Many women need to learn to be active parents, having been forced into a passive role in the home and often not acting as disciplinarian for their children. Both mothers and their kids receive counseling, and employment services are available, as many of the women at Transition House have not worked for years and need help developing new skills in order to provide an adequate income for themselves and their children. Referrals and information on legal issues – custody, access, police involvement and protection orders – are offered free of charge, as are programs about income assistance and low-income housing, and Transition House does what it can to prevent a child falling behind in school by communicating with schools and securing tutoring for them. Women with a drug or alcohol dependency are not accepted into Transition House, and are referred to alternate facilities.

Every year, Canadian Hadassah-WIZO of Victoria holds an educational evening to which members of the public are invited. In the past, filmmakers Peter and Dagmar Schroeder talked about Paper Clips, their book and film of the same name. Another year, Rev. Dr. Wee-chong Tan, an expert on the Jews of Kaifeng, spoke and, another year, Leo Adler from the Simon Wiesenthal Centre addressed the group. For the past five years, CHW Victoria has received funds from the Thrifty Foods Smile Card program to help cover expenses. For more information about CHW Victoria’s monthly programs, contact president Sharon Fitch at 1-250-381-1166 or by e-mail at [email protected].

Susan Kendal is past president of Canadian Hadassah-WIZO of Victoria.

^TOP