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December 12, 2008
The gift/gelt dilemma
Parents debate the Chanukah present practice.
DEENA LEVENSTEIN
There are no traditional sources that instruct Jewish parents to buy their children presents on Chanukah. The custom used to be giving Chanukah gelt (money). Perhaps it's the Christmas influence that has morphed dmei Chanukah into presents.
Lissa Weinberger, wife of Rabbi Jonathan Infeld and mother of Avishai, 7, and Ya'ir, 3, said she found the connection between gelt and gifts to be "a bit of a jump. Giving out a few coins versus presents."
Weinberger and Infeld give presents, not gelt, but they do so with deliberation that it not go overboard and that it contain meaning. This year, Avishai and Ya'ir will be getting fewer presents than last year. They will probably "have presents for five nights." Each night, Weinberger explained, is a gift from a different family member. "A night from grandma, a night from aunts and uncles." On the remaining two nights, they will give presents to kids whose parents can't afford to do so.
Rabbi Lipa and Dena Dubrawsky don't give presents to their 10 children at all. "The actual custom of Chanukah is Chanukah gelt," said Dena Dubrawsky. "We specifically do not give gifts to the kids on Chanukah." The Dubrawskys give their children a little money each night, with a slightly larger amount on the fifth night, as part of a Chabad custom and, afterwards, the kids do with it whatever they want.
The tradition originates in the Code of Law. Where the Code of Law teaches the laws of Chanukah candles, it states: "It is forbidden to derive any benefit from the lights of the Chanukah menorah ... even to use the light to count your money." (Tractate Chulin 91:A)
The choice to teach the law of "not deriving benefit" using the example of "counting money" (instead of reading a book or checking your complexion in a mirror) implies a connection between Chanukah and money.
There is yet another source drawing a link between our holiday of lights and that thing that makes the world go 'round. It is told that right before Jacob was to be reunited with his brother Esau – a man Jacob feared due to prior experiences – Jacob quietly moved his family across a river from their regular camp. When Jacob realized he had forgotten a few small jars on the other side, he quickly rushed back across the river to pick up the jars. It is told in the Midrash that God said, "Because you took the risk of going back for a few jars, I will repay your children with a small jar that will be found by the Maccabees." (Parashat Vayeitzei)
One explanation of why it was considered great that Jacob went back for the jars is that it showed that Jacob understood the importance of money.
"Chanukah comes from the word chinuch, which in Hebrew is education," said Dubrawsky. She explained that the goal of Chanukah gelt is, in fact, education.
"We're giving them money that's going to belong to them and then with that we teach them beautiful values." She mentioned the lesson of giving one tenth of one's earnings to tzedakah and the responsibility of money.
Leah Pomerantz and Mark Gurvis give presents, not money, but they make sure the focus of their holiday is on more important things. Pomerantz grew up in a home that didn't put much weight on Chanukah gifts. As she learned more about Judaism, she decided that it is best to continue in that way. Including the out-of-town presents, Annie, 16, Lottie, 13, and Noa, 11, have around five "gift nights." The gift from their parents is often a family gift. "Something that everyone can enjoy," said Pomerantz. "We really focus on lighting candles, singing songs, playing dreidel."
On Chanukah, all the members of the Gurvis-Pomerantz family light their own chanukiyah. "My favorite thing is, on the very last night, to light the candles and then to go outside and see our living room window blazing with light," said Pomerantz.
Weinberger said that, though giving presents is fun for the kids, "it kind of takes away what Chanukah is all about.... Chanukah is about freedom, liberation, working for the things we believe in. It's about the miracle of light, faith in God. It's not really about presents."
Deena Levenstein is a freelance writer from Toronto, Jerusalem and now Vancouver. You can read her blog at www.deenascreations.wordpress.com. She also works at L'Chaim Adult Day Centre.
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