Creating a lasting memorial

DVORA WAYSMAN

"Everyone grieves in their own way," Sara Newman told me. "We didn't want a street or a building named after Eitan; we wanted a living and ongoing memorial that would celebrate the life he had lived. That's why we are supporting a leadership program for graduates of Chemdat Yehuda, the pre-army preparatory institute where our son studied for two years before his army service."

Eitan Newman was 21 when he was killed with five other Givati Brigade soldiers. They were returning from an operation in the Zeitun neighborhood of Gaza City after a mission to blow up the factories where rockets being launched at Sderot, an Israeli city within the Green Line, were manufactured. The armored personnel carrier in which he and his comrades were travelling was blown up, detonating left-over explosives the engineering unit was transporting.

Making loss matter and turning it to constructive use has become a way of life for Sara and her husband, Dr. Michael Newman, a research scientist at Jerusalem's Hadassah Hospital. When I visited them in May 2004, as they sat shivah, and asked if there was anything I could do to help them in their grief, Sara requested that I write articles asking people abroad to buy Israeli-made goods in memory of Eitan. Now, seven months later, she is asking for support for a program launched in his memory: In the Path of Eitan – a leadership program for graduates of Chemdat Yehuda, as Eitan was.

Not every young man feels ready to undertake military service at 18 as soon as they finish high school. Some feel they need a stronger and more mature identity, both from a personal and a Torah perspective. To meet these needs, Chemdat Yehuda was established in the settlement of Chemdat in the Jordan Valley. For 12 to 18 months, these young men devote themselves to learning Torah, Zionism and Jewish and Israeli history, while preparing themselves physically and mentally for their army service. On graduation, they enter the Israel Defence Forces, many volunteering for combat units and officer and command posts.

The leadership program for graduates, which Eitan's parents are supporting and which is dedicated to his memory, is a continuation of their studies, with a choice of three tracks – an academic track, accredited at a branch of Bar Ilan University, which will give them points towards a degree, a track for discharged soldiers and an officers' and soldiers' track. The program consists of seminars, study days, workshops, plus meetings and weekends for their wives also, if they are married. The graduate program can be undertaken simultaneously with their work, study or army commitments.

To date, 25 men have enrolled in the graduate program in its first year of operation, with the hope of there being 120 students within three years.

Our sages tell us: "Not unavailing will be our grief if it sends us back to serve and bless the living." This is how Eitan's parents have harnessed their grief, to provide the means for young men of his calibre still serving in the army or in the early stages of work or studies, to develop their leadership abilities and to face with strength their future responsibilities.

Tax-deductible donations in memory of Eitan can be sent to Chemdat Yehuda, Chemdat, Mobile Post Mizrach Binyamin, 10990, Israel. More information is available on their website, www.chemdat.org.il.

Dvora Waysman is a freelance writer living in Jerusalem.

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