Have a child-centred seder

MICHELLE DODEK

The idea that life changes forever when people have children is true, and the Passover seder is not immune to that force. Few young children have the capacity or interest to sit and discuss elements of the Passover story in detail for hours. Many adults who attend seders feel the same way and are thrilled at the changes that are made in order to incorporate children into the seder.

Dan Levitt was happy to explain some of the adaptations he and his extended family have made over the years to accommodate his children, who are now three and five years old. "We used to tell lots of stories and go into lots of detail during the seder. Now we're very fast." He also mentioned that earlier start times for the seders help make it more kid friendly. Although not strictly traditional, starting earlier is a way to keep children from becoming overtired as the evening progresses.

Another non-traditional way of celebrating a seder is to have the second seder during the day. In her native Mexico, Jessica Welch's family hosts a lunch seder, which starts around 3 p.m. on the second day. Mexican lunch is late, and having the seder in the afternoon frees up children to go to bed at their normal time, especially after having been up late the night before for the first, more traditional seder.

Timing isn't everything, however. For picky eaters, the seder can be difficult, too. Hungry children are unhappy children, so trying to make some kiddie food might be a prudent idea. Kosher-for-Passover egg noodles work well, as does chicken cut in strips to look more like chicken fingers, said Levitt. Most kids love kneidlach (matzah balls) and soup, so when organizing dinner, be sure to dish up the kids' soup well in advance of the meal to give it time to cool.

Keeping children placated is not the purpose of the seder, however. The meal is a chance to have intergenerational educational interactions and websites like Aish.com have many suggestions on how to enrich your seder and make it a learning experience for everyone. Ideas include things like having the leader dress up like Moses, in robes, and to tell and reenact parts of the Pesach story. Children can also prepare skits to perform, such as a newscast of the 10 plagues or a dramatization of the Four Questions.

Young children will enjoy building structures with blocks and Lego that represent pyramids and slightly older children can play Passover-themed matching or Go Fish games at the table quietly. There are some excellent sticker books available as well and, for those who don't mind, there are many coloring books and images that can keep some kids occupied for a long time. When children start to really lose interest, in a long, detailed seder, having a Pesach playroom could save the evening. Equip it with Moses and Pharaoh puppets, Passover stories, card games and, perhaps, an older child to read stories/supervise.

The content of the seder can also be child friendly. An excellent Haggadah that mimics Dr. Seuss books in rhyme and cadence, called Uncle Eli's Special for Kids Most Fun Under-the-Table Passover Haggadah, is entertaining to both children and adults. Having loot bags for children at the door when they arrive or waiting at their seats is a good way to introduce excitement and props into the festivities. Jumping frogs are popular at his seder, said Levitt. Masks for the plagues, plastic lice, wild beasts and locusts or finger puppets of the plagues are commercially available and help children and adults feel part of the seder.

Lisa Romalis said that singing is one of the keys to a festive seder in which the children can participate. There are many CDs that have Jewish and specifically Passover music on them to help parents practise songs and sing with their children to prepare them in advance. Keeping children involved and engaged with props, plays and songs will make seders with children a more enjoyable experience, for both the kids and the adults.

Levitt noted that the mitzvah of drinking four glasses of wine also helps make it easier to tolerate cranky children and make the tradition more enjoyable, with or without kids. "If you drink four full glasses of wine, that's a whole bottle," he said. "For most people, drinking a whole bottle of wine over the course of the evening means that nothing will bother them."

Michelle Dodek is a full-time mother and makes a seder for more than 20 people every year.

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