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April 9, 2004
Assistance for grieving
New joint program helps local families handle loss.
KYLE BERGERSPECIAL TO THE JEWISH BULLETIN
Six years ago, when Jacqueline Walters' father died, she took four
months off work to be with her mother in her time of need. If she
and her three sisters hadn't been there for support, her mom may
not have been able to handle it on her own.
"She became totally overwhelmed with just the smallest details
in life and I recognized the need for her to have some support,"
Walters said. "She had said that without us girls, she didn't
know how she would have made it and she would have certainly used
a grief support group."
Today, Walters is using that experience and understanding for her
work on the Jewish Family Service Agency's (JFSA) new bereavement
program. The program, a joint project with the Louis Brier Home
and Hospital and supported by the Jewish Seniors Alliance, offers
immediate support to families in the community who have lost loved
ones.
Informative brochures have been given to the chevra kadisha of local
Jewish cemeteries to be handed out to families at the funeral. The
brochure includes a letter that offers the family condolences while
detailing common grief reactions. It also encourages them to contact
the JFSA for help.
Walters explained that the JFSA will then send comfort baskets to
the home, packed with several items, including a yahrzeit candle,
Shabbat candles, dried fruit, tea and a kippah. They also include
a copy of Journey of Mourning, a JFSA-produced guide of the
rituals, practices and Jewish customs around bereavement, as well
as the emotional responses that come with it. The baskets were put
together by the Very Important Partners (VIP) organization, a group
of volunteers, led by Debbie Havusha.
The JFSA offers a monthly grief support group, facilitated by Rita
Axelrod, and, as part of the bereavement program, they will offer
any family short-term counselling at no charge.
"Dealing with sadness, pain and loss is probably one of life's
greatest challenges," Walters said. "Especially for those
people who have been together for almost a lifetime.
"We want to start addressing these needs and we really want
to reach out to the people who are isolated or not necessarily affiliated
in the Jewish community," she continued.
Debbie Litvack, director of social work services at Louis Brier,
said that the home is participating in this program for two reasons.
"The reason that we started talking to JFSA is that we noticed
a real lack of bereavement support at Louis Brier," she explained.
"We have, in some cases, very long-term relationships with
families and [from] the day that they lose their relatives, we weren't
doing enough follow up with the family. We felt that it was time
to partner with JFSA and see what kind of group work we can do."
Litvack also runs a grief support group at Louis Brier, as well
as unlimited counselling for the Louis Brier community.
The other motivation for their participation, Litvack said, is to
help her own staff deal with the constant loss that they face as
they do their jobs.
This and other issues will be addressed at an upcoming workshop
that the bereavement program will run, April 19, 7 p.m., at the
Harry and Jeanette Weinberg (of Baltimore) Residence.
The workshop, which is open to the entire community, will feature
a presentation by Corrie Sirota-Frankel, a counsellor from the JFSA
of Montreal. The workshop will present information on how to help
individuals or families who are struggling with bereavement.
Litvack said there will be a special forum for her staff prior to
the community workshop.
"[Working at Louis Brier] is high stress and when people die,
our immediate response has to be to fill the room right away,"
she said of the nature of working in a hospital setting. "So
I worry about my staff, who don't always have an opportunity to
say goodbye, to hear that they did a good job and that they've been
instrumental in providing care."
It is estimated that there are approximately 100 deaths each year
in the Jewish community.
The bereavement program, which also includes a one-year membership
at the Issac Waldman Jewish Public Library, is being funded by a
grant from the Jewish Community Foundation, while the first 50 comfort
baskets were donated by an anonymous donor. For more information,
e-mail Walters at [email protected]
or call 604-257-5151. At Louis Brier, Litvack can be reached at
604-261-9376, ext. 231.
Kyle Berger is a freelance journalist and graphic designer
living in Richmond.
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