The High Holidays are all about family and friends coming together and sharing a meal. Kosher Taste: Plan. Prepare. Plate (Feldheim, 2016) by Toronto-based Amy Stopnicki offers home cooks a new formula for kosher cooking, with more than 100 recipes and photos.
In Kosher Taste, Stopnicki has taken her best innovations from years of experience and combined them with her passion for creating balanced and beautiful meals.
“I love to cook and I love to entertain. The warmth and beauty of sharing a beautifully set Shabbos or holiday table with friends and family is my passion and joy,” she explained. “The satisfaction I feel when family and guests dig in for seconds, or when kids enjoy a new dish, this makes all the effort of planning and preparing worthwhile. My goal with Kosher Taste is to share this joy, this passion, with home cooks who are looking to experience delicious new tastes and flavors to share with their families.”
Every recipe offers an easy-to-follow formula. Plan: tips for preparing ingredients ahead of time. Prepare: simple instructions and a step-by-step guide help any level of home cook recreate Stopnicki’s recipes. Plate: making what you have prepared look beautiful when served and what you can serve it with.
Recipes include squash zucchini soup, mango salad with raspberry vinaigrette, broccoli kugel, grilled fennel with balsamic reduction, stuffed mushrooms, salmon pad thai, wasabi tuna steaks, maple-glazed turkey breast, spinach pesto stuffed chicken, skirt steak in rum sauce, simple savory brisket, chocolate-dipped hamantashen and pumpkin pie brulée.
Here are some recipes to try for the New Year.
QUINOA SCHNITZEL status: meat, serves 6-8
Plan: This recipe can also be baked on cookie sheets. Lightly cover the cookie sheet with oil and coat the top of each schnitzel with non-stick cooking spray. Bake at 350°F for approximately 10 minutes on each side. Quinoa flakes are a great gluten-free alternative. They are light and healthy and easy to work with and can be found in most health food stores.
8 chicken breasts 2-2 1/2 cups dried quinoa flakes 1 tsp salt 1/2 tsp paprika 1/2 tsp garlic powder 1/2 tsp pepper 2 eggs 1/2 cup cornstarch or potato starch canola (or safflower) oil for frying
Prepare:
1. Slice chicken breasts horizontally and pound to flatten.
2. In a shallow bowl, combine quinoa flakes, salt, paprika, garlic powder and pepper.
3. In another shallow bowl, lightly beat eggs.
4. Pour the starch on a plate.
5. In a large skillet, heat oil over a high temperature for frying.
6. Lightly dip each piece of chicken in starch, egg, and finally the quinoa mixture.
7. Fry each piece of chicken, turning when necessary. You will know it’s cooked when all sides are golden.
Plate: There are endless debates on how one serves and eats schnitzel: with noodles, or salad, or even in a sandwich. Stopnicki’s favorite is Israeli-style with hummus, Israeli salad and basmati rice.
APPLE CINNAMON STREUSEL MUFFINS status: pareve, makes 18 muffins
Plan: This sweet treat is a great muffin to have for the kids as an after-school snack. Double the recipe and freeze them so you can take them out as needed. They thaw in 10 minutes or so.
2 eggs 1 tbsp vanilla extract 1 cup sugar 1/2 cup canola oil 2 cups flour 1 tbsp cinnamon 2 tbsp baking powder 1/2 cup applesauce 1 cup water 2 gala apples, peeled and finely diced
Streusel topping 3 tbsp margarine 1 cup flour 1/2 cup brown sugar 1/2 tsp cinnamon
Prepare:
1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. In a large mixing bowl, cream eggs, vanilla, sugar and oil until mixture is light.
3. Add dry ingredients, applesauce, water and apples and combine well.
4. Pour batter into paper-lined muffin tins, filling them 2⁄3 of the way.
5. Meanwhile, combine all streusel ingredients until they achieve a sand-like consistency.
6.Pour one tablespoon of streusel mixture on top of each unbaked muffin.
7. Bake for 20-30 minutes or until the tops are slightly golden.
Plate: Enjoy these alone or with a hot cup of tea.
This year, Rosh Hashanah begins on the evening of Oct. 2. On the first day of the holiday, we read the Haftorah that tells us the story of Chana the prophetess, who prayed to G-d for a child. She prayed softly while whispering. Eli, the high priest and leader of the Jewish people, thought she was drunk, as this type of prayer was foreign to him.
She replied, “I’m not drunk, I’m praying for a child!”
Chana prayed to G-d and told Him, through her prophecy, that her child would be an important person in the Jewish nation. This, in fact, came true. Her wish was fulfilled, her son Samuel was born, and he became one of the greatest prophets of the Jewish people.
Chana’s method of prayer is used as the basis for all the Jewish laws of prayer. As well, the rabbis of the Great Assembly instituted the text of the prayers throughout the year based on Chana’s manner, specifically for the Amidah prayer of 18 blessings, called Shmona Esray, which is recited quietly while standing. This prayer is also said with deep concentration, as we are standing in G-d’s presence.
But there are also times when our hearts need to open up and scream out loud for what we need or want in our own words. G-d wants us to open our hearts to Him and give Him our emotions. Every day, all year long, each prayer we recite brings us closer to G-d. Every prayer we recite is immensely valuable if said with sincere feeling. When we need something and feel that only G-d can help us, we shout out to Him as we do when something hurts us physically.
Prayer is immensely powerful, especially when recited as a kindness for others. Our sages taught that if a person prays for a friend, they fulfil the biblical commandment (mitzvah) of performing kindness. If one is in the same situation as their friend and prays for their friend, they will be answered first.
There is the story of a farmer who went to his synagogue on Rosh Hashanah but couldn’t read at all. Being illiterate, he just wrapped himself in his tallit and stood shaking and screaming like a rooster, as that was the only way he knew how to express himself from the heart.
Our sages also taught that G-d receives more satisfaction from a single Jew praying than He does from the millions of heavenly angels who sing His praises day and night.
On Rosh Hashanah, there are many prayers we recite from the special prayer book, the Machzor. One of these is the Avinu Malkeinu prayer that means, “Our Father, our King.” This moving prayer lists our shortcomings and our needs as we plead for mercy from two perspectives. One is that G-d is our father who loves us and provides for us, so how could we be ungrateful to Him? The second one is that G-d is our king, who has absolute power over us and to whom we owe total allegiance, so how dare we challenge His authority?
Nevertheless, He always remains merciful. Therefore, we take the courage to approach Him from both aspects in our time of helplessness. If we deserve His mercy, let Him be tender as a parent and, if not, let Him judge us as necessary cogs in His empire. When the world sees G-d’s concern for His errant people, His glory becomes elevated and we become closer to Him.
We also listen to the shofar on Rosh Hashanah, which symbolizes the depth of our emotions that come out in a cry. It, too, is a form of prayer, an emotional outburst to G-d. There’s a simple message on Rosh Hashanah, that when we cry from the heart, someone listens! That’s the message of the shofar on Rosh Hashanah. When words end, the cry of the shofar begins. It is the sound of our tears. Tekiya: the call without words that surrounds all the shofar’s cries. Shevarim: a series of three sobs. Teruah: nine sighs, with which we ask G-d for His forgiveness.
May G-d hear all our prayers and supplications and grant us a healthy and prosperous year. May He hear all our prayers, silent and aloud, and fulfil them so that we will merit to hear the shofar of Moshiach imminently. Please G-d we will see real peace in Israel and all over the world.
Esther Taubyis a local educator, writer and counselor.
In just over a week, many of us will be in the synagogue. While listening to the sounds of the shofar, feel their power and reflect. (photo from Wikimedia Commons)
Close your eyes and imagine yourself in the synagogue listening to the blasting of the shofar, something many of us will be doing just over a week from now. Feel the power of the sound – the staccato notes, the longer notes, and the really, really long note – reverberate throughout the sanctuary.
The sounding of the shofar on Rosh Hashanah serves as a wakeup call for the Jewish people, a chance to start over with a clean slate. Maimonides describes the wakeup call in the Mishneh Torah, a code of Jewish religious law.
“Arise you who are fast asleep, and awaken you who slumber,” he writes. “Search your deeds, repent and be mindful of your Creator….”
Now close your eyes again and, this time, look back at the year behind you.
Did you live a year that mattered, and did you fill it with meaning? Did you laugh easily? Did you connect with someone new? Did you cultivate deeper connections with people you already knew? Did you chat with the barista at your coffee house? Did you smile at children?
Did you look up from toggling between apps on your phone to watch a setting sun or notice a full moon? Were you brave enough to take some risks and leap – even if you were scared? Did you dance? Did you say sorry, and mean it, to someone you hurt? Did you wander slowly through the rain? Did you notice ladybugs?
Did you honor your parents, your grandparents and other people who helped form you into the person you are today? Did you think about how your food gets from the land to your plate? Did you treat your body as a temple, at least some of the time? Did you stand up for the things that matter to you and stick up for people who needed it?
Were you sensitive to the pain and bloodshed of others that you heard about in the news – in your city, in Israel, and around the world? Were you present? Did you teach your children to be kind to people, to animals and to the earth? Did you give tzedakah? Did you give thanks each day for something in your life? When you spoke about other people, were you thoughtful about what you chose to say? Did you appreciate the fact that someone always has it worse than you do, and did you recognize that you’re luckier than most people in this world? Were you honest? Did you trust?
Did you give yourself a break about the things beyond your control? Did you value the sacrifices of your ancestors that made the world a better place? Were you a mentor to anyone? Did you open your mind and listen to people whose beliefs and ideas are different from your own? Did you let a baby’s tiny hand grasp your finger? Did you give big tips? Did you visit someone sick? Did you read and learn about something new? Did you do something you didn’t really feel like doing because you knew it would make someone else happy?
Did you stand and say the Mourner’s Kaddish for someone you loved and lost, or did you say it alongside someone else who lost a loved one? Did you learn a new skill? Did you smell rosemary, pinewood, vanilla or cinnamon? Did you invite a guest to come and share your Shabbat table? Did you dream big?
OK, now that you’ve looked back over the past year, close your eyes again – but this time look ahead to next year.
How will you fill your life and the lives of others with spirituality, meaning and love? Who will you surround yourself with?
We, Jews, are lucky for a chance to take stock – to awaken from our slumber – and then press reset for a new year.
Wishing you and your loved ones a year ahead filled with health, happiness, sweetness, fulfilment and peace. L’shanah tovah u’metukah!
Cindy Sheris the executive editor of Chicago’s JUF News. To read more from JNS.org, click here.
To make biblical date honey, Middle Eastern Jews boil and press dates that range in color from yellow to brown. (photo by Barry A. Kaplan)
The Torah describes Israel as eretz zvat chalav u’dvash, the land flowing with milk and honey, although the honey was more than likely date honey, since beekeeping is not mentioned in the Bible.
The word honey in Hebrew, dvash, has the same numerical value as the words Av Harachamim, Father of Mercy. We hope that G-d will be merciful on Rosh Hashanah as He judges us for our year’s deeds.
To make silan, or biblical date honey, Middle Eastern Jews boil and press dates that range in color from yellow to brown. Apples can be dipped into the date honey in the hope for a sweet new year. In the markets in Israel during this season, one finds strings of these dates.
In the 2011 article “Cooking class, it’s a date, honey,” cookbook author Faye Levy writes: “For many Jews, apples are the Rosh Hashanah fruit par excellence. For me, fresh dates are the fruit that herald the coming of the New Year. As soon as I see the bright yellow dates at the market, I begin to plan my menus.
“I’ve heard people say they’re not fond of fresh yellow dates. I have learned to enjoy them at their khalal [initial] stage, when they are crunchy and less sweet, but I prefer to wait until they become honey-brown, [the] stage called rutab.”
There are several kinds of dates grown in Israel, including Medjool, which Levy notes “are delicious and easier to find than perfectly ripened yellow dates.”
But, regardless of type, dates are a traditional Rosh Hashanah food, and form part of the Sephardi seder, which dates to the Babylonian Talmud.
“An elaborate Maghrebi [the region made up of Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia and Libya] specialty calls for nut-stuffed dates that are used to stuff a chicken or a large fish,” writes Levy. For Shabbat, she explains, dates might be added to dafina, which is a Sephardi meat stew cooked overnight to eat on Saturday lunch, or Moroccan hamin, another slow-cooked overnight stew for Saturday eating. The dates “contribute a subtle sweetness that mellows the flavor of the sauce. A dish from Baghdad from the Middle Ages calls for stewing lamb with dates and sweet spices.”
Silan, which Levy notes was brought to Israel by Iraqi Jews, is also known as date molasses or date syrup.
Varda Shilo, author of Kurdistani Cooking (in Hebrew), describes how to make it. Dried dates are simmered in water to porridge consistency, then the mixture is spooned into a cloth bag, moistened with more water and squeezed to remove the juice. This juice is simmered until thickened and is kept in jars.
Shilo explains that breakfast is the meal at which date honey is most often enjoyed in the Middle East, mixed with tahini (sesame seed paste) and served with bread.
Kinneret Farm silan makers suggest other ways of using date honey, such as adding it to stir-fried vegetables, as a sweetener for beverages, in sweet-potato pancakes, with an added dash of cinnamon.
“Dates are best known for their uses in sweets,” writes Shilo. “They are a favorite filling for the rich Middle Eastern cookies called ma’amoul and for rolled cookies resembling rugelach that are popular around the region.”
“In Persia,” write Reyna Simnegar, author of Persian Food from the Non-Persian Bride, “walnut-stuffed dates are a Rosh Hashanah treat. The stuffed dates are drizzled with a little syrup and sprinkled with cinnamon.
“Another popular way to serve dates is as a snack with tea.”
“Cooks in Egypt use the firm, fresh yellow dates to make jam,” says Levana Zamir in Cooking from the Nile’s Land (in Hebrew). “They also use them to make stuffed dates. First, they remove the dates’ very thin peel with a sharp knife and cook the dates in water until they are soft. Next, they pit the dates without cutting them in half.
Instead, they push the pit out with a hairpin so that each date can be stuffed with a blanched, peeled almond. Then they make a clove-and-lemon-flavored syrup from the dates’ cooking liquid. One by one, the stuffed dates are carefully added to the syrup, simmered and then cooled. The sweets are served with Turkish coffee and a glass of cold water. Making them is quite an undertaking but … these stuffed fresh dates are a delicacy fit for kings.”
Some Moroccans dip apples in honey and serve cooked quince, which is an apple-like fruit, symbolizing a sweet future. Other Moroccans dip dates in sesame and anise seeds and powdered sugar in addition to dipping apples in honey.
In her book The Foods of Israel Today, Joan Nathan writes about having lunch at Jerusalem restaurant Eucalyptus, when owner/chef Moshe Basson put a bowl of tahini “on the table and swirled in a date syrup called silan or halek, which he explained was a biblical ‘honey,’ one of the seven foods in the land of Canaan cited in the Book of Deuteronomy. Today, visitors can see a 2,000-year-old date-honey press, similar to an ancient wine press but smaller, near the Dead Sea at Qumran, the sites where, in 1947, a Bedouin youth found the Dead Sea Scrolls hidden in earthen jars.”
Nathan writes further that Ben-Zion Israeli, one of the founders of Kibbutz Kinneret, dressed as an Arab and, in 1933, went to Iraq and smuggled 900 date saplings back to Palestine. Over the years, with many trips, he brought back more than 7,000 saplings from Iraq, Iran and Kurdistan; about half took root. Shmuel Stoller later brought saplings from Egypt and Saudi Arabia. In the 1970s, Medjool and Deglet Noor varieties were introduced from the Coachella Valley in California.
If you are wondering about dates and your health, Judy Siegel-Itzkovich writes in the 2013 Jerusalem Post article “Local dates are best variety to fight disease”: “All nine varieties of dates grown in Israel and found on any supermarket shelf have characteristics that make them better than other varieties at helping protect those who consume them against cardiovascular diseases.
“This has just been demonstrated by Prof. Michael Aviram and colleagues from Haifa’s Rambam Medical Centre and Technion-Israel Institute of Technology. The research was published in the prestigious Journal of Agriculture Food Chemistry.”
The research team found that the most effective varieties for health are yellow, Barhi, Deri, Medjool and Halawi dates, and that, despite there being about 20 different types of dates growing around the world, those from the Jordan Valley and the Arava are the best.
Aviram warned Siegel-Itzkovich, however, that silan won’t help much. “As silan is a sweet concentrate that does not contain fibres, it is far from the real thing,” he said.
The article also noted, “A study the researchers published in the same journal four years ago showed that eating three dates a day does not raise blood sugar levels in healthy people, but it does reduce blood triglycerides and even ‘improves the quality’ of blood cholesterol by reducing its oxidation. These effects reduce the risk of heart disease, stroke and other vascular diseases, they said.”
Nonetheless, Aviram advised diabetics against eating a lot of dates, as they are high in sugar.
Antioxidants from the group of polyphenols found in pomegranates, red wine and olive oil help remove plaque from inside the arteries. (photo by Barry A. Kaplan)
In addition to the health benefits of dates, the Post article also highlighted 2009 research Aviram had led, showing that “antioxidants from the group of polyphenols found in pomegranates, red wine and olive oil help remove plaque from inside the arteries. In the new research, the team found that dates can bring about the slowing and even regression of atherosclerosis (accumulation of fatty plaque) in the coronary arteries, and that eating one of the three specific date varieties is most effective.
“The material in dates has the clear ability to speed up the removal of excess cholesterol from endothelial cells inside blood vessels, the team said.”
While dates have been grown for thousands of years and their health benefits have been cited since ancient times, it is only in relatively recent history that science is confirming many of the beliefs.
High in fibre and also containing many minerals, such as potassium, zinc, magnesium and calcium, Aviram and his team, writes Siegel-Itzkovich, “recommend following a Mediterranean diet – with its variety of vegetables and fruit (including dates), fish, whole grains and olive oil – rather than eating just one or two ingredients, so that a whole range of oxidative factors that cause atherosclerosis can be neutralized.”
Sybil Kaplanis a journalist, foreign correspondent, lecturer, food writer and book reviewer who lives in Jerusalem. She also does the restaurant features for janglo.net and leads walks in English in Jerusalem’s market.
As an alternative or addition to synagogue services, you could find a nice place outside in which to pray or reflect. (photo by Jan Lieberman via Wikimedia Commons)
There is a lot of beauty to the traditional synagogue experience. However, a traditional High Holidays service just does not speak to some, especially many young adults.
“Buying seats for the High Holidays is super-expensive,” said Rachel Moses, a marketer for a Jewish nonprofit from Mt. Washington, Md. “It also just doesn’t feel like it’s my place.”
If you think like Moses, consider skipping the tickets, and celebrating Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur outside the traditional four walls of your family synagogue. Here are nine alternative ways to connect to the High Holidays without stepping foot in a shul.
Build community
Thomas Arnold, who works in Homeland Security and is from Pikesville, Md., says people often interpret Yom Kippur as a heavy day of repentance. In contrast, the day’s prohibitions – things like fasting, not wearing leather footwear, not making love to your partner, refraining from taking a bath – are intended to help us think less about our own needs and more about those of others.
“The point is to understand there are people that don’t have food, that don’t have water, that don’t have shoes to wear,” said Arnold, citing the 18th-century ethical Jewish book Mesillat Yesharim: The Path of the Upright by Italian rabbi and philosopher Moshe Hayyim Luzzatto. “We don’t have sex because there are people in the world who don’t have partners and cannot connect in that way.”
Arnold looks for people who are in need, lacking something or are lonely, and makes a point of giving to them during the High Holiday season. Sometimes, he invites them over for a meal, and other times he just lends them a helping hand.
“On Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, make it about other people,” he said.
Host a meal
Rabbi Jessy Gross, named by the Forward as one of the most inspiring rabbis of 2016, said some of her best holiday memories are not from the synagogue, but from places where people came together, like at her holiday table.
“Having meals with other people, especially if the person hosting can serve traditional Jewish foods, creates an opportunity … to celebrate Jewish food and culture,” said Gross.
Shari Seidman Klein of Beit Shemesh in Israel agrees. She cooks a holiday meal for her family, as well as for her children, a few of whom choose not to attend traditional activities. Apples and honey, round raisin challah and other sweet things bring the kids and their friends back to her dining room each year.
Change something
Klein said she often instructs her Hebrew school students, many of whom are products of intermarriage, to use the High Holidays as a time to better themselves. She tells them, “Take on one thing for one day.”
For example, rather than fasting on Yom Kippur, she recommended giving up candy, soda or something else they like to eat. Older individuals might decide to give up the personal comfort of watching TV, or they might make the higher commitment of refraining from talking badly about others.
“It’s the idea of tikkun olam, bettering the world,” said Klein. “That one thing on that one day can take you back to the basics of being – and thinking.”
Do Tashlich
One of Gross’ favorite rituals is Tashlich, for which all a person needs is access to a body of natural water such as a creek, pond or river. She recommends taking some bread or crackers and spending some time by the water meditating or journaling.
“I like to think about where I have missed the mark or haven’t reached my potential and cast this out,” she said. “It is great opportunity to … think about what you want as we evolve into the coming year. It’s a process of spiritual cleansing and preparedness.”
Form a minyan
The Israeli organization Tzohar has been working to bring together the religious and secular Jewish communities in the Jewish state. In the central city of Lod, Tzohar’s executive vice-president, Yakov Gaon, said his organization found that many secular Israelis refrain from going to synagogue, not because they don’t want to pray, but because the service is too fast, politicized, costly or uncomfortable.
“They don’t know how to dress, when to stand up or sit down,” Gaon said.
About 15 years ago, Tzohar began creating alternative minyans in community centres, schools and gyms. The services bring like-minded people together. Each service is assigned a leader who announces the prayer page numbers to read, and explains what’s happening in the prayers. Today, more than 56,000 people take part in these Yom Kippur services at 300 locations across Israel. An additional 1,500 people attend one of Tzohar’s 60 Rosh Hashanah services.
Go to Israel
While it may be too late now to book a trip, in general, traveling to Israel on or around the High Holidays is a more special experience than traveling there during nearly any other time of year, said Arnold, whose daughter is studying in Israel for the year.
Arnold said Israelis have a reputation for being rude or pushy, but during the Hebrew month of Elul – this month, which leads up to Rosh Hashanah – Israelis tend to mellow out.
“It’s like they know it instinctively,” Arnold said with a laugh. “Their Jewish souls come out and they know it is the Yamim Noraim (High Holy Days) and they better get themselves together.”
The whole country prepares with holiday festivals, music, delicious holidays foods and smells, he said.
Host discussion
Skipping the rabbi’s sermon? Write your own, and invite others to hear it. Klein has tapped into several online resources, such as myjewishlearning.com, to provide fodder for discussion at the table, or for her son and his friends to discuss in an intimate setting. Gross, too, said that using online content and hosting a discussion group can help you learn about the holiday, and then share those insights with others.
Reflect in Elul
There is still time to make an Elul reflection calendar. Create a pie chart divided by the Hebrew months, said Gross. Break each pie down by the number of days in that month. On each slice, record a guided meditation question or something you want to work on. Then, every morning or before bed, read it and reflect.
Here, too, Gross added, there are plenty of online trigger questions if you need guidance.
Have a picnic
Mt. Washington’s Moses said hosting or attending a holiday picnic brings people together, offering a venue to eat traditional foods and also spend time in nature. While the children are playing, the adults can host the aforementioned discussion group, or meditate under the open sky.
Pray outside
In general, being outside is a good way to infuse spirituality into your holiday. Transform your backyard, a park or a forest into a synagogue and pray.
Most years, Moses attends Baltimore Hebrew Congregation’s Rosh Hashanah Under the Stars program, which offers an alternative Jewish New Year get-together for members and non-members.
“There are thousands of people there, right under the stars, with no ceiling above you,” said Moses. “You feel like you are one with nature, with each other and with God – whatever sense of God there is.”
On years she cannot make the service, she and her family might travel to Ocean City, Md., instead. “We’ll just sit there and listen to the ocean,” she said.
Women of the Wall was founded as a minyan of women from different movements coming together on common ground for Rosh Chodesh. (photo by Michal Patelle via Wikimedia Commons)
In April 2015 – in the aftermath of the death of 25-year-old African-American Freddie Gray inside a police van after being arrested by the Baltimore Police Department, followed by days of riots in Baltimore, Md. – African-American street gangs, the Bloods and Crips, stood side-by-side against police brutality. The Baltimore Sun, and several national papers and social media outlets, carried photographs of the members of the typically warring gangs posing together, with captions about the gangs being determined to “unite for a common good.”
Tzippi Shaked, author of Three Ladies, Three Lattes: Percolating Discussions in the Holy Land, believes that the case of the Bloods and Crips unifying together is a valuable lesson for the Jewish community, in which there are frequent divisions along religious lines. This was echoed by Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu in his annual Rosh Hashanah greeting last year, in which he urged Jewish unity by working “together … [to] build our Jewish state – because we’re united, proud of our past and committed to our future.”
Can Jewish people of different religious denominations truly unite and work together for a common good?
The concept of Jewish unity is one that comes up around the High Holidays due to the Torah portions read before the holidays: Nitzavim and Vayelech. In Nitzavim, we read, “Today, you are all standing before God your Lord; your leaders, your tribal chiefs … even your woodcutters and water drawers.” (Deuteronomy 29:9) Eighteenth-century Rabbi Schneur Zalman explained this in his famous work Likkutei Torah as all Jews standing equally and united before God despite their differences.
Vayelech also concludes when Moses addresses “the entire assembly of Israel” (Deuteronomy 29:1) in a unified manner. Such a colorful image is harder to picture today, when headlines and op-eds tend to stress divisiveness, and the parts over the whole.
“I come from a family with a Charedi brother. I am Modern Orthodox. I have a sister who is secular. Growing up, my father was secular and my mom religious. If we can pull it off under one roof, I believe so can society in general,” said Shaked.
Moses speaks to the Children of Israel. An illustration from The Boys of the Bible by Hartwell James, published by Henry Altemus Company, 1905 and 1916. (photo from Wikimedia Commons)
Shaked, together with one Charedi and one secular woman, spent two and a half years discussing the topics that divide and unite Jewish women, and then embarked on a mission to teach others that, while Jews might not always agree ideologically, politically or religiously, they can be united. This is the topic of her book.
Rabbi Joel Oseran, vice-president emeritus for international development at the World Union for Progressive Judaism, said that, in his experience, it is “rare to see the common good having the highest value,” especially in Israel, where “the playing field among denominations is not level at all.”
“When I am right and you are wrong, how can there be diversity?” Oseran asked. “You have to allow for more than one way to be right in order to respect diversity.”
Shaked disagreed, saying that unity and friendship have little to do with accepting others’ opinions or hoping to change them.
“It’s naive to think that anyone will change his or her mind,” she said, and it has more to do with a belief that people can become friends in spite of differences in levels of religious observance.
“It is very easy to rip apart the other. It is very difficult to look for the positive,” she said. “Irrespective of which religious background you come from, you have to ask yourself, do I look to build bridges or do I look to inflame?”
This has been Marne Rochester’s modus operandi. An active Conservative Jew, Rochester moved to Israel 26 years ago. In the Jewish state, she maintains her Conservative identity, while sending her daughter to a religious school and praying at a variety of different synagogues. She is most active in a Jerusalem Masorti (Conservative) congregation, but she also attends a Sephardi, egalitarian minyan.
“I think Conservative and Orthodox, and Conservative and Reform, have a lot in common,” said Rochester. “Both the Orthodox and Conservative movements are halachic movements. We just see the interpretation more liberally than the Orthodox.”
When it comes to daily life, she said it’s easy to get along, especially in Israel, where Conservative congregants tend to follow more of the movement’s code of conduct, as opposed to the United States, where “a lot of people who belong to Conservative shuls don’t necessarily go by what the movement says.”
Rochester has Orthodox friends willing to eat in her home and share Shabbat together with her.
But, Rochester, who takes part in monthly Women of the Wall ceremonies at the Kotel, said the biggest differentiator between the Orthodox and the Conservative is the role of women in public Judaism and the synagogue. While in Orthodox Judaism women take a back step to men in religious life, “since my bat mitzvah, I read from the Torah, lead services, put on a tallit and tefillin,” she noted. “But, I feel like in my neighborhood, we all get along. We all respect each other and don’t check each other’s tzitzit.”
Rochester added that Women of the Wall was founded as a minyan of women from different movements coming together on common ground for Rosh Chodesh. While it has become a major media focus, and a point of divisiveness between Jews in the Diaspora, in Israel, at its core, “You have Orthodox, Reform and Conservative women all together – that is such a powerful, beautiful thing.”
Oseran said he wishes he would see more leaders taking a stance in the direction of unity.
“I am not optimistic from the top down,” he said, but admitted positive steps are percolating on a grassroots level.
“There are many Orthodox Jews who understand there is more than one way to be Jewish and are prepared to bridge some of the differences in order to be stronger together,” he said, noting that Israelis could learn a lot from the Jewish Federations of North America movement, which is built on a sense of a collective Jewish community in which any Jewish people can fit and find their place.
“How do you create a building bridges mindset?” Shaked asked. “Take the time to make yourself available to talk to others. Be open to meeting people.… We all have to take the plunge.”
She also recommends celebrating the successes of others and volunteering in communities different than your own.
Harkening back to the unity established by the Bloods and Crips in the wake of the Baltimore riots in 2015, Shaked said she read a study published more than 20 years ago by the Simon Wiesenthal Centre that found that gang members cannot unify by simply learning about one another through movies, being told positive messages about one another, or even through dialogue. Rather, they need to work together on a common project. By working for a common goal, the Bloods and Crips found unity.
“I ask this Rosh Hashanah to join with all Israelis, with friends of Israel, with the Jewish people everywhere in wishing for a better future,” said Netanyahu is his previous Rosh Hashanah address.
“I believe these friendships can be struck. I have seen it and I live it,” Shaked said.
Free Spirit Experience helps troubled teens “restart” their lives. (photo from freespiritexperience.org)
Adolescence is a time of transition and confusion and teens themselves often don’t understand what’s happening. They frequently send mixed messages and get angry when adults do the same. They want to be independent and strong, but they also need adults’ physical and emotional support. Navigating the turbulent landscape of the teenage experience can be equally challenging for teens and the adults in their lives.
Although it can be compelling to dismiss their experiences, making the effort to understand teens can have an enormous impact on their ability to channel their energy, passion and idealism. When teens are feeling confident, clear, safe and supported, they can accomplish incredible things.
Like any other effort to improve, consistency is key. With a little understanding, compassion and sensitive and intentional practices, you can improve your relationship and help your teen tap into their potential.
Dr. Tamir Rotman, clinical psychologist and founder of Free Spirit Experience, which helps troubled teens “restart” their lives, shares his advice on how to improve communication and connection with your teen.
Go with their flow. Pay attention to when they need you close by and when they want some distance. Give them choice to connect by saying, “I’ll be around if you need me.” This is a great way to be available without imposing on them.
Be an anchor of stability. Although they may fight you on it, for teens, stability is safety. Be predictable, in a good way, so they can rely on you when they need to.
Start young. If you want them to feel safe to talk to you, it’s important to start listening to them when they are young children. Be curious about the things that interest them and know enough about their interests to ask relevant questions. This effectively says, “I am interested in you, I care.” If it’s late in the game, you can still earn their trust, but you will have to show genuine and persistent interest for them to buy it and take you seriously.
Listen during a conflict. If you really listen and try to understand them, they will try to listen to you, too. Even when you’re sure you’ve heard it all already or that they are trying to rock the boat, stay curious. Genuinely ask them what happened to truly seek to understand where they are coming from.
Validate their feelings. It’s crucial to validate their feelings. It’s a very common mistake to start by giving advice or explaining yourself or the other person involved. However, that will only alienate your teen and make them feel more isolated. Always start by acknowledging their experience and their side. You can say, “It must be really difficult/sad/frustrating to…,” so they hear that you are interested in understanding them and they have a safe space to be heard.
Be proactive. Reach out to your teen when you see that they are struggling. Find a good time to say, “I see that you are having a tough time and I really want to help.” Don’t be afraid to be creative, ask for outside help, and use trial and error with your teen to find a solution.
Be patient. Trust yourself and be patient with the process. Even when your teen is acting stormy, just know that the turbulence reflects their thoughts. Do your best to have compassion for your teen and for yourself. Involve your teen in the process in whatever way possible. The best solutions come when change comes from a conscious choice.
“I love to cook and I love to entertain. The warmth and beauty of sharing a beautifully set Shabbos or holiday table with friends and family is my passion and joy,” she explained. “The satisfaction I feel when family and guests dig in for seconds, or when kids enjoy a new dish, this makes all the effort of planning and preparing worthwhile. My goal with Kosher Taste is to share this joy, this passion, with home cooks who are looking to experience delicious new tastes and flavors to share with their families.”
