I’ve never really been able to meditate. At least not in the formal way most people depict meditation. There have been no ohhmmmm moments for this guy.
Oh, I’ve tried – with the most patient teacher I’ve ever known. But “calm” doesn’t seem to help me clear my mind. It actually opens the door for every possible thought to prance around like they own the place. Instead of walking out of a meditation session with a sense of peace, I’d walk out with a long to-do list of things I just remembered I had to do.
That said, several years ago I realized that I do have meditation’s version of a best friend (for me anyway) … ice hockey! While going through a challenge-filled time in my life I discovered that no matter what was going on in my noggin all day, the moment I stepped onto the ice to compete my mind immediately focused on one thing and one thing only – the game in front of me. My focus became singular for that minute or so shift.
I mean, who has room to think about stresses at work or home when your heart is being pushed to 170 bpm while being chased down the ice by a 235 lb dude on sharp blades? I was grateful I had that escape.
I found that kind of focus again recently when I took on the infamous Grouse Grind – Greater Vancouver’s natural supplement for addicts of torture and misery.
Other grinders looking happy!
Prior to this summer I had avoided the Grind for several years. With the exception of the cold beer that awaited at the top, I never enjoyed a darn thing about past climbs. However, now 25 lbs lighter and in much better shape than I was in my “why can’t we have nachos for breakfast?” days, I was actually looking forward to seeing how it felt this time around.
OK, well, it still seemed like a fairly torturous way to spend a Sunday morning (you were expecting me to love it, weren’t you!?). I pushed myself hard enough that throughout the final quarter I wasn’t sure if I’d die of an exploding chest or simply by passing out and falling backwards.
However, guided by pride (rather than beer), I creamed my old times with a solid 46-minute scamper. Aside from the personal sense of accomplishment and still-functioning lungs, what I really took from my excursion up Grouse Mountain was that discovery of another personal form of meditation.
Not more than 10 steps into the trek, my mind narrowed in on two simple things until the very end. I saw only the next step/rock I needed to take and heard only my breath – I don’t even remember the music playing in my headphones.
The half-way marker. Which arrives when most expect the finish to appear.
For 46 minutes I thought of nothing except what was right in front of me and the life that ran through my body.
I do wish I could find such life clarity in a less strenuous environment from time to time – say, bearing down on a bowl of chicken wings or buying shoes (don’t judge) – but I think it’s important for everyone to find their meditative niche and connect with it when time permits. Despite complete exhaustion and tight quads, I came off of the mountain feeling mentally refreshed in a way I hadn’t been in a long time.
Go out and find your cup of refreshing ohmmmmm. It’ll be worth it!
If you’re a member of any law enforcement effort in North America these days you’re not exactly living the dream when it comes to respect.
Stories of corruption and abuse have littered the news the past couple of years with well-known cities like Ferguson and Baltimore fighting off large-scale riots as a result.
On social media it has become the norm to talk about police officers like they are ALL abusive, power-hungry brutes – a label that is a sad contrast to the post 9/11 world.
In Richmond last week, RCMP Corporal Kevin Krygier and his team put on a display that reminded many that the vast majority of our nation’s force are here for much more than crime and punishment. They are here for us.
This particular story started at Tait Elementary School, where Mike Ciu is a fourth-grade student with Down Syndrome. When Krygier visited the school this winter he met Mike, who helped give the corporal a tour of his school.
Soon after, Mike’s educational assistant, Marci Hammer, sent Krygier a video of Mike explaining that when he grew up he dreamed of being a police officer.
“I was so touched, I decided to make his dream a reality,” Krygier explained of what came next.
Krygier rallied his troops, connected with Hammer, started making some plans and put together an assembly presentation for Mike that blew his whole school away.
That day Mike Ciu was named an honorary Police Chief, given a uniform and marched into the gym with his new peers to roaring cheers from his younger peers. It was a day he and his family won’t soon forget.
Corporal Kevin Krygier and Mike Ciu
While the gesture turned into a nice community story, it was also a reminder that many of our uniformed defenders of the law are genuinely here to keep us safe AND make our lives better. So next time you hear a story of an officer abusing his power, share this one of our officers spreading the glory instead.
“I joined the RCMP to make a difference in people’s lives,” Krygier said. “I have done many things as part of the RCMP – some I have had to do and they have been sad and difficult. But this was so enjoyable for me and my colleagues. It took a lot of collaboration to make it happen, but comparably, it was easy and very meaningful for all of us who were involved.”
Canucks alum Eddie Hatoum, originally from Lebanon, with several Arab Israeli athletes. (photo from Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver)
Anyone who caught a glimpse of the 20 young hockey players during their week-long training camp in Vancouver March 4-10 probably didn’t think much of it. That is until they looked a little closer and saw the Canada Israel Hockey School (CIHS) logo all over their jerseys, jackets and bags.
In a joint venture of the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver and the Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver, the 10-to-14-year-old boys and girls were hosted by local families, trained by special guest coaches, toured around the city and treated to an unforgettable night by the Vancouver Canucks.
Canada Israel Hockey School students listen to skating coach Barb Adelbaum. (photo from JCCGV)
Aside from its being a hockey school in a country where that sport is as foreign as olive trees are to Vancouver, CIHS is also special for using hockey as a cultural bridge: half the participants touring Vancouver were Jewish and half Arab. Here are a few stories that stood out from the week-long adventure.
Skate like NHLers: After arriving late the night before, the kids wasted no time hitting the ice at the Richmond Olympic Oval. Their first practice was led by Barb Adelbaum, power skating consultant for the Vancouver Canucks and various NHL players around the league. After taking them through some skating drills, Adelbaum noted that many of them had dull skate blades. She connected the team with Cyclone Taylor Sports in Vancouver and arranged to have all 20 pairs of skates sharpened, as well as a much-needed new stick for one of the goalies.
KDHS meets CIHS: On day two, thanks to a Purim-themed professional development day at King David High School, several hockey-playing students from the high school joined the CIHS kids on the ice. Instead of playing against each other, each team was formed from members of both schools, which made for a spirited community game.
CIHS students with skating coach Barb Adelbaum. (photo from JCCGV)
Flying like a Raven: When the JCC found out that the CIHS squad included two girls, talks began with the Richmond Ravens Girls Hockey Association on bringing them all together. The Ravens happily obliged, donating one of their ice times to a scrimmage and practice with the Israelis. After fitting the two Israeli girls into Ravens jerseys, a boys versus girls game was played.
All they have is love: Sunday afternoon was spent touring the city. The group walked along the water from Granville Island to Kitsilano Beach. As they approached the beach, Virgin Radio was there, with a large balloon-like ball with “LOVE” written on it, offering folks the chance to be photographed with it. As the Israeli kids swarmed for their photo, the radio station reps were told of the special meaning behind the Jewish and Arab group, standing shoulder to shoulder, symbolizing the love of a game and being a team overcoming other boundaries.
CIHS meet JCC hockey: The Israeli athletes had the opportunity to see what Jewish community hockey was all about in Vancouver. They took in one of the final regular season games of the JCC’s Adult Ice Hockey League, providing a cheering section the local weekend warriors weren’t used to. After the game, the students had their chance to show the JCC league the skills they had brought from Israel, and to play a little hockey with them. Led by the generosity of Daniel and Ariel Wosk, several members of the JCC league donated money for new equipment for the CIHS players (more to come on that below). The Wosk brothers had visited CIHS in February 2014 as part of a hockey team tour and wanted to be involved when the Israelis came to Vancouver.
“The joy and passion that [Jewish] and Arab children were exhibiting together was a sign that with the right influences and opportunities there could be a better future there,” said Ariel. “When we heard that some of the kids were coming to Vancouver, we knew that we wanted to do something for them.”
“A highlight for me was not knowing who was who on the ice, yet their teamwork was excellent,” added Daniel of his time playing with the kids here. “It’s awesome to see their relationships grow in a positive direction … [that] will translate into their daily lives.”
CIHS student being interviewed by CBCs Shane Foxman for Citizen Shane. (photo from JCCGV)
The final day: The last full day of the CIHS visit had more highlights than an evening news report.
The morning started on the ice, with two members of the Vancouver Canucks Alumni Association as guest coaches, along with local hockey pro and JCC member Harrison May and his brother Kevin.
One of the alum, Eddie Hatoum, was born in Beirut and still speaks Arabic at home. Upon arriving and learning of the mix of the CIHS athletes, he entered the locker room and asked, “Who speaks Arabic?” in his native tongue. Half the room raised their hands with huge smiles on their faces. “We’ve done a lot of work with young groups as the Canucks alumni, but this really warms my heart,” Hatoum said, also smiling. “When I tell my siblings in Ottawa that I got on the ice with these kids, they won’t believe it.”
Hatoum was joined at the practice by B.J. (Blair) McDonald, who once scored 46 goals playing with Wayne Gretzky in the early 1980s.
After the practice, the group headed to Sports Exchange in Vancouver for a shopping spree. With the money from the JCC hockey league players in hand, along with several donations and great deals from the store managers, the team packed six bags’ worth of brand-new gear. The kids also had a chance to pick up some items of their own that they can’t get in Israel.
While it seemed almost impossible for the day to get any better, the CIHS kids and several of their host family friends were treated to an evening with the Canucks that started with a meeting with team president Trevor Linden and chief operating officer Victor de Bonis. De Bonis led the group on a tour of the facility in advance of the Canucks versus Anaheim Ducks game, which they watched from a hospitality suite, where they were offered a buffet dinner and all the popcorn they could eat. Visits to the suite from Adelbaum, McDonald, de Bonis and Canucks mascot Fin topped it all off.
The trip continues: The group said goodbye to Vancouver and hello to a week in Calgary before heading back to Israel. Several JCC league players will meet the kids again next February at an annual recreational hockey tournament in Israel. The Vancouver squad, as usual, will get on the ice with the CIHS for a couple of practices and continue their friendship.
Kyle Bergeris Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver sports coordinator, and a freelance writer living in Richmond. For more information on this visit or future hockey trips to Israel, contact Berger at 604-638-7286.
Marissa Cepelinski during the 2014 Run for Water. (photo from Marissa Cepelinski)
Some people spend their entire lives trying to figure out what they want to be when they grow up. Some know when they’re just a kid.
At a rather young age, Marissa Cepelinski already knew two key things about herself that would lead her to her current position as co-founder of Capital Core Financial: she loved numbers and she wanted to help people.
Marissa Cepelinski not only advises people on how to direct more of their money to causes they care about, she also donates her time and money. (photo from Marissa Cepelinski)
Cepelinski is the daughter of an Israeli computer engineer who spent many hours tutoring her in the art of finances. “He had me tracking all my money in a blue Hilroy notebook when my babysitting career began at 11,” she said. “I had to enter all the debits and credits and I loved it.
“I also loved working with people,” she added. “So I knew I wanted to somehow pair the two.”
After completing her minor in psychology at university, Cepelinski targeted the financial advisor career path, leading to what now has been a 12-year career in the industry.
Doing what she loved was the first step. The second was finding a way to make that career choice satisfy her need to help others.
“I became very clear on what I wanted to build and what we needed more of in the financial world,” she explained. “I wanted to work with people on a goals-based approach rather than just working with the money.”
After teaming up with Franco Caligiuri on a consultation basis for several years, the two realized their goals aligned, leading them to partner in starting their own boutique firm, Capital Core Financial. Through her work at Capital Core, Cepelinski has engaged in many charitable programs, both as a donor and as a participant. Specifically, she advises many individuals, families and businesses on strategies to help direct more funding toward causes they care about.
“We found that many people simply didn’t know or understand how they have the option to choose a cause to donate to rather than ‘donating’ their money to Canada Revenue Agency (CRA),” she explained. “Being able to present a cheque for $100,000 to a charity … is a feeling I can’t even describe.”
Cepelinski said that Capital Core Financial has a goal to help redirect at least $1 billion to be donated to the nonprofit sector.
Community building is one of Capital Core’s main values. As such, Cepelinski also donates a lot of her time to various causes, highlighted in the past year by her participation in the Run for Water ultra-marathon, the Covenant House Sleep Out to raise awareness and the 24-Hour Famine for a Better Life Foundation. She personally raised more than $22,000 for these charities in 2014.
Earlier this year, she and colleague Alli Warnyca spoke at the Recharge Conference at the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver. They talked about how people could change their attitudes about money and debt, and feel good about their finances.
As for her typical client base, Cepelinski insisted she doesn’t really have one. “We work with people who are committed to their goals, that have values that align with ours,” she explained. “People who are wanting to raise the bar in their life and remove their emotional limitations in regards to building wealth.
“I’ve worked with business owners on corporate planning, young families starting to save to buy a home and struggling artists or actors learning to budget and commit to a plan,” she continued. “Many of us walk around with money stories we created at a very young age. We will spend some time discussing those with clients because it’s important that people look at the patterns they are running in regards to their money.”
To set up a meeting with Cepelinski or any member of her team, contact Capital Core Financial at 604-685-6525 or go to capitalcorefinancial.com.
Kyle Berger is a freelance writer living in Richmond.
In my last post I shared a vision for 2015 being a year of growth, exploration and the pursuance of excitement and inspiration.
I invited you all to join me or help me with ideas or opportunities for new or interesting things to try out. And you did! I received all sort of suggestions, ideas and offers and it looks like this is going to be an interesting year, indeed!
So far I took a tennis lesson with Steve Nash Fitness tennis pro Max Brown, started taking a free meditation class in hopes to re-open another door I had closed long ago and took an Israeli folk dance lesson – something I really had absolutely zero interest in. More on the meditation and dancing below.
My biggest adventure outside of my comfort zone in 2015 so far took place last Sunday when I shared my personal story of conquering life’s demons with 120 open-minded people at the Recharge Conference (Ted Talks, here I come!).
Here is a summary of some of those events, which some key points I learned:
Recharge Conference:
The Recharge Conference was a full day of unique, dynamic speakers filling participants’ minds with creative perspectives on the topics of mind, body, spirit, career, relationships and money (or lack thereof).
Founded and organized by Mike Dirks and Justine Levenberg, the event was a ton of fun and kept the participants engaged all day – they even had the energy in the afternoon to dance with DancePlay for a few minutes, which was quite the site to see!
I was essentially the morning warm-up act, sharing what changed when I proved my adult-self wrong, accomplishing things I had personally written off as undo-able for me. To be honest, as a first-timer, I wasn’t entirely sure that anything I had to say would be of value to the audience. It turned out a lot more people than I anticipated related to my personal confrontation with my own potential. Speaking to them was an incredible high and, by the end of the day I had a room full of friends. When some incredibly educated speakers that followed me referenced bits of my story in their own presentations, the validation I received from that was incredible. My warm-up act was a success and a blast! I look forward to staying connected to the Recharge movement.
Here are a few nuggets from the other presentations that day that stood out for me (more detailed posts to come about some of the other speakers):
On productivity: Your time should be considered in 3 equal pieces of the pie. Play, preparation and execution/work time should be pretty close to equal. The key there being that time to play is just as important, even though many of us feel that we are being unproductive just having fun or relaxing. And if you are working more than that, OUTSOURCE!
On debt: Stop wasting time feeling crappy about your debt or waiting for the answer to magically come along. Stop making excuses and own your financial decisions.
On reaching your loftiest long-term goals: Imagine where you’d like to be 10 years from now. Then think backwards about the steps that would likely take place to have you arrive at those goals. Write it all down (that was repeated many times) and focus on each step from the beginning, one at a time. That 10-year goal may seem too daunting on it’s own. But the first step right in front of you may be quite simple. 10 years from now you’ll be glad you started now!
On relationships: Don’t expect to ever have a productive relationship with another human (dogs are always exempt) if you don’t have a good one with yourself. Oh, and Mark Groves (@CreateTheLove) can make love – or lack thereof – funny.
About nutrition and body health: One of the worst things you can eat is worry, if you aren’t in bed before midnight you will pay the price the next day, and if you dream vividly it actually means you didn’t sleep well … making the wish for “sweet dreams” to be kind of harsh, actually.
Quote of the day: “A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can’t go anywhere if you don’t change it.”
Meditation class:
To create some context, I’m one of those guys who doesn’t get yoga. I HAVE tried at least 10 different times with 10 different teachers (no, I haven’t tried YOUR teacher, who is simply the best), but I just haven’t been able to wrap my head around the whole namaste, heart-centre mumbo jumbo.
Meditation pretty much fit into that same category. The difference was that I had never really tried meditation. All I knew was that in the yoga classes, when they would ask me to clear my mind and meditate I’d start thinking about all the things I had to do. Or, I’d start to ZZZZzzzzzzzz………
I didn’t imagine I could meditate. I also imagined it wasn’t much more than a bunch of wishy-washy hoopla. Then I met Lloyd Baron. Lloyd, who visits the JCC regularly, is one of those unique people who have “peace” written all over their face. “How are you, Loyd?” “I’m fannnntastic!”
So when Loyd offered a free meditation class at the JCC, I decided it was worth investing my time and trying something new for me.
I’ve only attended two of Lloyd’s classes so far. In class #1 the comfortable position I assumed was laying on my back. After playing a late night hockey game the night before this was the perfect position for me to sleep. And sleep I did. In and out between mantras. When I was awake I really struggled to focus, or not focus, as was suggested at times. My mind wandered. Which is apparently normal.
In class #2 I sat in a chair right next to Lloyd. I was determined to stay awake and really follow his lead. My mind still full of day-to-day garbage, I discovered that following sounds was my closest path to zoning in or out on one thing. I’m going to work on that, play to my strengths as Lloyd suggested, and keep trying. Making an effort to spend a few minutes practicing each day. This is going to be a long haul effort for me!
Lloyd’s classes take place Tuesday mornings at 11:30am and 10am Thursday mornings. New participants are always welcome.
Israeli folk dancing:
Camera came out and everyone ran….
I had posted on Facebook that I had a free night and wanted to fill it with something new. I had a few interesting responses – most of which included things that can’t be repeated on this website. But I was challenged by a friend to try out Israeli folk dancing. She was half joking, offering me money to try it, knowing full well that this was not something anyone would expect Kyle to do. Which was exactly why I felt compelled to do it!
I joined the beginners class of the Vancouver Israeli Folk Dance Society taught by Naomi Taussig. It was probably the most mentally challenging hour and a half I have had in a long time – this being what happens when you join a class half way through the year and they all know the dance steps. By the time I caught on to each dance we moved on to the next. I had the opportunity to feel like the bumbling idiot in a room full of strangers, which was a lesson in humility. But, I learned what the Yeminite Step is, that folk dancing can be as much of a workout as it is a social event and that I have more balance on skates than I do on my dancing feet. All in, a good night!
Intermediate Israeli folk dancing selfie!
Israeli folk dancing was probably a one-time event for myself given my schedule, but I’m glad I Yeminite-stepped in when I did. Watching the intermediate dancers was quite impressive as well!
Check it out Wednesday nights, 6:30-10pm at the JCC. They provide free cookies and candy!
That means right about now millions of New Year resolutions are kicking into high gear! (Isn’t it exciting!?) This will most likely peak around the 12th of the month due to those who don’t think a resolution kicks in until their hangover recovers, fading like a cheap pair of Old Navy jeans by around the 18th.
By Feb 1 everyone will be talking about how they don’t believe in New Year resolutions again.
I have never been a strong believer of waiting for set dates to take action toward any positive change. I believe that if someone wants to see a change enough to make it happen they have no need to wait for January 1st to get started.
That said, a new year does allow us sort of a mental re-set. Even if less than 10% actually stick to that new-year resolve, that’s more change than we’d likely see on the first day of any other month, right?
My resolve to make meaningful change in my life has been more of a progressive development than a sudden change that kicked off a few years ago.
Led by a successful diet adjustment that helped rid my body of extra weight I carried for years; I found success in an area I had previously written off as “not likely to ever happen” for my adult life. I parlayed the momentum of that accomplishment, considering what other aspects of my life could also be re-approached. I found many other successes and adventures I certainly wouldn’t have predicted three years ago, leaving a world of closed doors well behind me.
Now it is 2015. And in 2015 this guy turns 40!
While many fear the “big 4-0” and all that beginning-of-the-end anxiety that typically comes with it, I can’t wait to hit 40 in stride! I can’t think of a better time to take it all to a whole new level!
In 2015 I will continue to learn new skills, discover new talents, and experience new adventures.
I will make the world around me a better place and I will share it all with as many people as I can (starting with the pages of this blog!).
The question is, what will it all look like? What does this exciting, inspiring future hold? And who wants to join me for any of it?
I have some ideas of my own that we will explore here. But I’d like to hear your ideas as well. Give me your suggestions. Maybe you have an opportunity to share with others. Perhaps you are looking for help with your own unique journey.
Let’s make 2015 – and every year after that – EPIC!
Now hands up if the fact that you like to eat has made you want to throw the other half of the apple pie you just ingested across the room because IT WON’T LET YOU LOSE THE WEIGHT YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO LOSE!
Recently, as part of the Jewish Book Festival at the JCC, Dr. Yoni Freedhoff, known (maybe only by me) as Dr. Diet, presented about his new book The Diet Fix. The book details why more than 90% of diets fail, leaving people with frustration and/or apple pie all over their living room. (For a review of the book, see jewishindependent.ca/jewish-book-fest-in-a-week)
As someone who personally struggled with excess weight for most of his adult life – likely as a result of too much McDonald’s for most of his teenage life – before managing to kick it back to the drive-through a few years ago, I was intrigued to listen to and meet Dr. Diet to see what new concepts he could teach me. I wanted to see what he could tell me that, quite frankly, I hadn’t already learned from my dear friend Google.
While he didn’t get into the meat and potatoes (or cake and cookies) of dieting tricks, strategies and science, he did talk a lot about the psychology of dieting and how our society responds to it. More of a what-NOT-to-do presentation.
The good doctor presented what he called the seven deadly sins of dieting. Essentially, this is a list if misunderstandings or misdirections society has placed on the path to eating healthy and losing weight.
In no particular order (except for the one he presented them in), here they are for your consumption.
1. If you’re not hungry, you’re not losing weight. WRONG!
Starving yourself isn’t the key to weight loss, Freedhoff explained. As a matter of fact, he suggested that waiting until starvation kicks in before feeding yourself will more likely make bad cookies…I mean, choices (darn auto-correct!).
2. You must make sacrifices to lose weight. WRONG!
If you are constantly making sacrifices you aren’t likely to make this work on any long-term basis. It should be a choice of preference, not a sacrifice.
3. You need willpower to succeed. WRONG!
The reality is that we only have a limited supply of willpower. So if we are depending on that for success we are likely to fail at some point. Try having a long, hard, stressful day at work, then coming home looking for willpower in the crunchy, salty snack cupboard.
4. You should accept blind restrictions. DON’T DO IT!
A lot of people follow fad diets. They read that this new Garcinia Cambogiolawala plant can help you lose weight if you eat only that and a pickle for five days straight.
Despite my undying faith in pickles, if you don’t know why or how a diet will work, don’t do it!
5. You need to sweat it out. SO WRONG!
Reality weight loss shows like Biggest Loser preach that if you’re not pushing your self to barf-inducing levels you won’t succeed. On the contrary, Dr. Freedhoff said, if it’s not enjoyable, much like point #2 and #3, it’s not likely to last long.
As a point of perspective, he added that it takes running a full marathon to burn 1 pound of fat. Yet it takes only one hour sitting on your tuchus at the neighborhood pub to put it back on. The line, “You can’t outrun your fork” is one I will use again and again from now on.
6. You need perfection to succeed. WRONG AGAIN!
According to Dr. Freedhoff, people accept doing their best in just about every facet of their life except dieting. When someone is on a diet they believe they must be perfect in order to succeed. Obsession leads to unrealistic expectations. Once again, it won’t last. And you don’t need to call them cheat days. Maybe just try “living life days!”
7. We must calmly remain in denial. DENIED!
We avoid dealing with our true feelings about how we are struggling with our weight or eating habits. If we fool ourselves about what we really want to do or can do we are just denying ourselves the chance to find confidence in our abilities to succeed. The consequences of struggling are guilt, shame and despair. Which often leads to? Binging!
Bottom line: It seams that what the Diet Doctor is saying is that it’s more important to tackle our weight issues with our heads than it is with a program or a set of diet rules.
Set clear goals that you know you can work with long term and take them on one step at a time. Otherwise, well, we’ll see you again at the next diet meeting!
To the women reading this post, brace yourself for the following comment: It’s not easy being a man!
Take a minute. OK. Breathe. Sit back down. And we can continue.
The North American male lives under a lot of pressure with high expectations when it comes to their role in relationships, an assumed level of strength, decisive behavior and success.
Yes, it’s true! Stop laughing!
The truth is, there isn’t a whole lot of time or space for sensitivity, vulnerability or exploration of feelings when it comes to thriving as a man in our society. That’s where ManTalks, a new Vancouver-based, community-themed speaker series, steps in.
Connor Beaton founded ManTalks.
Developed by Connor Beaton, a sales/operations manager for Apple, ManTalks came to be after Beaton’s own personal “rock-bottom” had him bounce back, looking for more truth and support in his life.
Once a world-traveling opera singer, Beaton walked away from the stage to pursue other interests and his life was set adrift, leading to some tough decision making.
“I had made some really poor choices in my relationship and had lied and cheated on the woman I was with at the time,” he explained. “Instead of coming clean I tried to keep lying.
“The problem was,” he continued, “I had been lying to my friends, family and myself about what was happening in my life. I wasn’t living the life I wanted, but I had convinced myself and everyone around me that my life was amazing. I had convinced everyone that I had an amazing career, an amazing partner, had money in the bank and was on the path to huge success. But it was all a lie.”
Beaton went on to explain how he realized he’d lost track of who he was, digging a hole deeper than he could pull himself out of. He eventually made a conscious decision to promise himself two things: “First, I would speak my truth and live it,” he said. “Second, I would make sure that other men didn’t have to face their challenges and darkest moments alone.”
The goal of ManTalks is to create the largest resource “for men looking to live a powerful, authentic and honest life, contributing to the success of others.”
A few ManTalks sessions have already taken place, with participation from more than 100 men and women (pretty sure the women were there on a recon mission). The last one, earlier this month, was focused on fitness, body image and work/life balance. It featured three speakers with different perspectives or stories about how they conquered some extremely vulnerable moments in their own lives, while audience members shared with each other as well.
Starting in January, ManTalks will take place once a month, each with different themes. January will be themed Wealth Mindset, February will be What Women Want (featuring all female speakers), March will be Spirituality, April will be Fatherhood and May will be Masculinity. More info on Mantalks can be found at www.mantalks.ca
Beaton will also be speaking at the upcoming Recharge Conference taking place at the JCC, January 11. www.sparkenergizeempower.com
Quick! One a scale of 1-10, how tired are you RIGHT NOW? Is anyone’s answer ever lower than 5???
Most of us know we probably don’t get enough sleep – working long hours, investing a lot into our families or extra-curricular activities.
But how many of us ever consider how much our diet plays a role in our daily level of fatigue?
Dr. Jennifer Doan from Earthmed Naturopathic Clinic.
According to Dr. Jennifer Doan, a naturopathic doctor who spoke about fatigue at the JCC last week, diet management is one of the most significant factors in controlling fatigue. Never mind the fact that is also has a significant affect on how well we sleep those few hours of shut-eye we actually get in!
Brief science lesson: our adrenal glands – located right above the kidneys – produce life-saving, stress-managing hormones like cortisol, testosterone and estrogen in order to battle all of the grief, physical or mental load we experience. Whether it be from working too hard, emotional stress, illness or many other avenues, the adrenal glands have to keep up with the demand we put on our bodies. When they can’t keep the pace we suffer from what’s called Adrenal Fatigue. This causes our bodies to do many bad things including the break down of tissue or muscle to convert to energy, crave more bad foods (seeking the cortisol reaction to insulin), lose focus, become short-tempered, struggle to sleep, suffer from pre-menopausal symptoms (hopefully only for women), have weaker immune systems, lower libidos and many other symptoms. But let’s be honest; I had you at lower libidos, didn’t I?
Needless to say, these symptoms lead to more stress, which makes us crave the cortisol stimuli brought on by carb-filled foods and the vicious cycles goes on while our bodies plummet and waste away.
However, while lifestyle may make it difficult to get the sleep we need on a regular basis (really, who gets 8+ hours of sleep every night?), the key, Doan explained, is keeping our blood-sugar or glycogen levels in a good place as often as possible. This, in turn, prevents a high demand of insulin, which saves our adrenal glands from needing to produce an overdose of cortisol to “catch” the insulin. Controlling blood-sugar levels actually reduces stress and sets our bodies up to crave less unhealthy food as well. Now we will be ready to do stressful things like watching the Canucks play!
When we do feel stressed or exhausted, sitting down with that bag of chips or crying into that bucket of ice cream isn’t actually going to make us feel better. It’s more likely to eventually make us feel worse. And not just in the belly!
When you do hit that craving, find something that is filled with protein or healthy fats. Not only will they fill you up better and longer but, because they take more time and energy to digest, they will prevent an insulin spike and keep your blood-sugar levels in order, sparing your adrenal glands.
You will also be one step closer to a better night’s sleep and a better day when the sun rises once again!
He didn’t realize it at the time, but Norm Archeck has been a significant inspiration for me. A catalyst for some of my proudest physical accomplishments.
This story – of one friend motivating another to achieve fitness success – wouldn’t be anything special … if Norm wasn’t 84 years old.
Two and a half years ago, after I had already rid myself of my adult-life-long baby fat, I noticed Norm regularly coming to the front desk of the JCC and challenging anyone within shouting distance to do push-ups with him. Right there. Drop and give me 20. Or 40, in Norm’s case.
Caught in the crossfire one day, my male ego couldn’t refuse the challenge, so I threw in a quick 25. That same ego was forced to up that 25 to 30 the next day. This was really no big deal. Until a couple of months later I managed to push my body away from the JCC floor 111 consecutive times. Yes, in a row.
For the most part I stopped doing push-ups with Norm after that day. But only because I decided it was time to parlay those gains into a more rounded gym routine. Since then I have hit new personal fitness levels again and again, staring down my upcoming 40th birthday like it’s going to put 20 to shame.
Now, there is something to be said about right place, right time, right motivation. I was clearly ready to embrace Norm’s challenge that day. But without Norm it wouldn’t have happened the way it did.
Brushing off everything with a laugh or a smile, Norm is that guy the rest of us look at and say, “I hope I’m doing that when I’m his age.” So when he issues you a physical challenge it’s pretty hard to turn him down.
Throw in three knee replacements, a new hip, a win over colon cancer 15 years ago and open heart surgery seven years later and it’s hard not to smile when Norm says, “Come on, young man. Let’s do some push-ups!”
… in front of everyone you work with.
Norm Archeck – you’ll have to train to complete his fitness challenges at the JCC.
“My friends say I’m a nut case,” he laughed while taking a break in the JCC fitness room. “That’s how I live my life. I forget about the things that are challenging me and live my life.”
Norm was an athlete in his younger days, always wanting to push the limits. As he aged his doctor told him that if he didn’t work out he might as well just fold up shop, so to speak.
“He says I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t exercise. And he tells his other patients to just do what Norm does.”
More recently, just to change things up a little, Norm has taken on the plank – a popular core strengthening exercise – as his new daily JCC-front-desk activity.
Targeting an absurdly-long 5-minute plank, he’s come close many times while brushing off non-believers one minute at a time.
He tells a story of being at a relative’s house for dinner recently when his planking prowess was brought up at the table. A burly, middle-aged dinner guest called Norm to task.
“He laughed at me when I said I could do it,” Norm said. “He was kind of a big mouth. So he challenged me and I knew he would struggle. I did it for around four minutes and he quit around two. I get a call a month later and he tells me he has gotten to 2.5 mins.”
So if you are ever at the JCC and you see an old gent sitting on the floor by the front desk, he’s not filming a new “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” commercial. It’s just Norm, living his life on his terms.
