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Oct. 20, 2006
How the times have changed
A modern baby naming ceremony often takes place in the home.
JOAN G. FRIEDMAN
Shortly after I was born, my father took a bottle of whiskey to
our Orthodox shul one Thursday morning and I received my Hebrew
name. Twenty-five years later, my father and my husband took a bottle
of whiskey to our Conservative shul to name our daughter. That was
the extent of the occasion.
Today, a baby naming for a girl is as celebratory as the bris is
for a boy - with one small exception, of course.
Rabbi Joel Weintraub of Kesher Zion Synagogue in Reading, Penn.,
officiated at a recent baby naming. It was obviously not his first
time – he has been a rabbi for 34 years. ("I must have
started as a child!" he said.)
Weintraub is a much sought-after individual. In addition to being
very popular, he is also very busy. There were a total of three
baby namings on this particular Sunday.
"The three namings were all similar in that they were not part
of the morning service and Torah reading," he explained. "One
was held in the synagogue social hall, one was held at the home
and one was held in [the family's] backyard, surrounded by beautiful
scenes of nature. All had their special beauty and meaning."
One hundred and forty-nine namings ago, a traditional pattern took
place.
"The dad, maybe accompanied by his dad, would come to shul
on a Monday or Thursday morning," said Weintraub. "The
dad would have an aliyah and a prayer would be recited after the
dad's aliyah for the recovery of the mother and the name-giving
of the child. The mother was not present – nor was the central
character – the baby girl herself."
At the most recent baby naming, the parents invited everyone to
the grandparents' home. They are members of a Conservative congregation.
Before the ceremony, the grandfather welcomed everyone. Since some
of the guests were not familiar with Jewish customs, Grandpa Stu
Cohen spoke about our traditions.
"We have many traditions, some of which are already well known,"
he said. "One lesser-known is that we light a candle on the
anniversary of the death of a loved one. Another is that we name
our children after someone who has passed on. Most important is
that the Hebrew name be the same as our loved one, and it helps
to make our loved one live on in the life of the newborn. Her Hebrew
name will be repeated many times in her life, including in Hebrew
school, at her bat mitzvah, and on her wedding day."
He then introduced the rabbi, the parents and the rest of the grandparents.
As he cradled his little girl in his arms, the young father explained
that their baby would be named after his grandmother, Batya. "Batya,"
he explained, "means daughter of God – one of God's children.
Grandma Bertha was a kind and loving person. She came to this country
from Germany before the Holocaust and lived in New York. Whenever
I visited, she showered me with love and affection. As I went to
sleep at night, she would pray over me. It was very comforting."
Weintraub said his prayers in Hebrew and English, and the young
parents chanted their part in the ceremony.
"We have been blessed with the gift of new life," they
recited. "We have shared love and joy in bringing our firstborn
daughter into this world and have been privileged to participate
in the marvel and beauty of creation. Through our loving example,
we hope to teach our daughter to become a caring and loving person
with a sense of her own worth and respect for that of others. We
dedicate ourselves to providing a home filled with the values and
joys of Torah and we hope that our daughter will grow to cherish
and emulate these ideals."
The grandparents added to the blessings. Before long, Batya also
received her English name, and she smiled for everyone.
Much too soon, the service part was over. Weintraub had everyone
join hands and sing "Siman Tov and Mazel Tov." As we danced
around mother, father and baby, it was a joyous celebration indeed.
"I am not sure about 'better,' " Weintraub later said
of the gathering, "but the creative baby naming ceremony that
is usually held at the home as opposed to the synagogue has some
clear advantages. Mom and baby are present as well as dad and grandparents.
It is not just the rabbi reciting a prayer formula but there is
participation of rabbi, parents, grandparents and family and friends.
It involves creativity, emotional expression, joyous singing and
dancing in the company of loved ones. When the parents explain the
selection of the child's name to the audience, it adds a beautiful
poignancy.
"And," he noted, "you don't have to wait for an entire
service to get to the food!"
Joan G. Friedman contributes articles to newspapers in
the United States and Canada and can be reached at [email protected].
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