God hates hair and welcome home

CYNTHIA RAMSAY SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH BULLETIN

The 18th Annual Cherie Smith Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver Jewish Book Festival features writers from across Canada in genres ranging from poetry to fiction to self-help to autobiography. Here are some excerpts that give an idea of the diversity represented at this year's festival.

• "The word intimacy is vastly overused. You need it, yes, but what exactly is it? Those who have it don't use the word and those who are searching for it may never find it. It consists perhaps of the daily work of connection.... When he is worried about work, listen. When you are worried about work, talk to him. When he feels sick, bring him his favorite flavor ice cream. When you are sick, feel free to ask him to come home early. All of this is obvious and requires no special knowledge. The electricity that binds one to another is made up of energy, yours and his, directed towards each other in kindness, affection and concern."

From "Letter to Any Daughter Who Will One Day Decide to Get Married, Maybe" in Married: A Fine Predicament by Anne Roiphe, who opens the festival Nov. 16, 7:30 p.m. The Saul Berson Quartet joins the opening night celebration. Tickets are $25 for general admission; $18 for students and seniors.

• "Most interpreters of the divine concur / – No matter how much they denounce / Their colleagues' teachings on every other matter – / God hates hair.... We are informed that a beanie, a scarf, / Or an entire bathmat / Must ride atop the head / Lest the Maker catch a glimpse of / The pile of extruded threads / He evidently regards with repugnance.

"The assumption of the clerics appears to be / God is a failed hairdresser / Or barber, or that His own hair / Has fallen out: so many sects and cults / Shave the pate to indicate obedience to the Sacred Will...."

Excerpts from "God Hates Hair" in Tom Wayman's book of poetry, In My Father's Cup. Wayman appears Nov. 17, 4 p.m., after a 3 p.m. presentation by Norman Ravvin about his recently edited collection Not Quite Mainstream: Canadian Jewish Short Stories.

Earlier in the morning, Sharon Promislow and Bar Ilan University Prof. Chaim
Milikowsky share a brunch lecture. At 10 a.m., Milikowsky presents A Brief History of Rabbinic Time: The Seder Olam. At 11 a.m., Promislow discusses her latest self-help book Putting out the Fire of Fear.

• "[My father] has a fitful memory and sometimes – these days – can't seem to even remember his own name, which he's changed a number of times over the years, just as I have, but he has total recall, like he was reading from this morning's newspaper, for what he likes to call the 'religious experiences' of his life: a dozen or so moments spaced out over largely the first half of his 60-some-odd years during which, for a moment or an hour or half a day, the clocked stopped and eternity stepped back to watch."

From Dave Margoshes' novel I'm Frankie Sterne. Margoshes, who is also a poet, reads Nov. 17, at 5 p.m.

• "Owing to his blindness, Yossele was no longer able to move around much physically. He spent entire days sitting on a chair in his shop or at home. But a man has to move his limbs and, if he physically cannot, then he has to move them in his mind. The world had vanished from before his eyes, yet it existed inside his head and there he began to travel. He transferred his energy to his mind and became a carpenter again. He constructed edifices of thought concerning the world, the Creator and mankind and concerning his children as well as himself. He grew increasingly amazed at his own former stupidities. Things that had once seemed of major importance to him, now appeared ridiculous. Things that he had treated with extreme seriousness now seemed laughable."

From the English edition of Of Lodz and Love by Chava Rosenfarb, who reads Nov. 17, 8 p.m. Prior to Rosenfarb, Daniel Snowman reads from The Hitler Emigrés at 7 p.m. His visit to Vancouver is part of a two-month world tour for his book about Europeans who escaped Nazism, found refuge in other countries and made a significant contribution to their new homelands.

• "On Sept. 25, 1948, Halifax Harbor came into view. I spotted a large banner stretched across the dock of Pier 21 saying: WELCOME HOME TO CANADA! I was deeply moved by those four simple words. We had spent three years in DP camps in Austria and were never welcomed by the locals. Our reduced ration cards were stamped with a capital 'A' (meaning Auslaender or foreigner) and we were frequently referred to as verfluchte Auslaender (Goddam foreigners). But here in Halifax Harbor, I could see that beautiful banner: WELCOME HOME TO CANADA. I felt that it contained a personal message welcoming us exclusively!"

From Steve Floris's Escape from Pannonia: A Tale of Two Survivors. Floris reads Nov. 18, 1:30 p.m.

• "Consider those automated company phone directories where you have to punch the letters of the employee you want into your phone. If you're like me, you're never quite sure how to spell anyone's name. Is it Beetman? Or Beitmann? Or Bietman?

"If you were talking to Mable [the operator], she'd just say 'Oh you mean Mr. Boethamien, the nice man who works in billing.'

"But a machine doesn't make that leap.... If IBM wants to do humanity a favor, it should forget about building a machine to outthink humans and create one to think like a human; a machine that would adapt to our indecision rather than forcing us to keep making decisions.

"Until then, there's only one way for humans to fight back against the (phone) system. Let's go on strike. Next time you call a bank, airline or 411, refuse to play by their rules and press zero for an operator.

"If we all press zero all the time, maybe the people behind the machines will figure out what we think of their system. Support the human race.

"Press zero now."

From "Unromancing the Phone" in Press 1 and Pray by Josh Freed, who reads Nov. 18, 7 p.m. Province movie critic David Spaner, whose work has appeared in such books as Total Baseball and The Greater Vancouver Book, presents the same day, at 8 p.m.

• "I hadn't returned to Toronto since Labor Day weekend and felt guilty about not seeing Jay again. But I didn't like coming back. In love with its own boosterism, Toronto is charmless, yet smug. You can almost ignore this in the summer, when green branches arch over some of its streets, or at moments in winter, when snow blankets the trees. But not for long, and not when the momentary passing of every celebrity visitor is noted with reverence: 'That's the restaurant where Liza Minnelli ordered soup flavored with lemongrass.' Hype, around the clock."

From Pack Up the Moon by Richard Teleky, who reads from his novel The Paris Years of Rosie Kamin Nov. 19, 6 p.m. He is preceded by Vancouver writer and Province food columnist Mark Laba at 5 p.m.

• "The thing I found most offensive in the issue about the discussion of homosexuality ... was the inability to disagree ... without being labelled homophobic. I do not regard myself as fundamentalist, conservative, homophobic. But the caricature is that."

The character of David, former pastor of St. Alban's in Port Alberni, in Mark Leiren-Young's play Articles of Faith, about same-sex blessings and the Anglican Church. Leiren-Young's reading Nov. 20, 7 p.m., features excerpts from his plays. Karen X. Tulchinksy reads from her latest novel, Love and other Ruins, a sequel to her first novel, Love Ruins Everything, at 8 p.m. the same evening.

The book festival closes Nov. 21 with a presentation featuring Vancouver Sun books editor Rebecca Wigod in conversation with Your Mouth is Lovely author Nancy Richler, at 7 p.m. A reception to honor the volunteers of the community follows. Admission is free, however, reservations are recommended: call the Hadassah-WIZO office at 604-257-5160.

In addition to the numerous readings, there are author signings, book launches, creative writing workshops, school field trips, a young authors' tea and numerous children's programs. There will be new books, used books, videos, CDs and cassettes for sale daily. Everything takes place at the JCC. For more information, call 604-257-5111 or visit www.jccgv.com.

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