Focusing on identity

DEENA LEVENSTEIN

On May 19, more than 300 people convened at St. George's School for a talk by Rabbi Yossi Jacobson on Cultivating the Most Difficult Art: Getting to Know Yourself. Organized by the Ohel Ya'akov Community Kollel, this was not the typical self-help lecture that some people said they expected, but instead it was about Jews' place in this world.

John and Paula Boddie, the sponsors of the evening, introduced Jacobson. In gratitude to the Kollel for making their son's bar mitzvah in Israel such a special experience, they have decided to give the Kollel an ongoing present: an annual lecture series. This was the first in the series.

Jacobson's talk worked around the story of Yaakov (Jacob). It's an example of someone who struggled with his identity. Yaakov's name is based on the fact that he was holding his brother's akev (heel) when he was born. He went on to covet Esau's birthright and stole his blessings. Then he ran away. When he heard that Esau was coming after him, he got very scared, preparing for possible war. But the day before the brothers came together again, Yaakov spent a night "alone," wrestling someone. At the end of the night, the person or angel gave Yaakov a new name: Yisrael. The next day, when the brothers reunited, there was no war. Instead they embraced and kissed.

Jacobson, speaking from the perspective of Yaakov, said, "In the middle of the night you're alone. Your wife is not present, your children are not present. Your schpiel (show) is not present, your shebang is not present. Your masquerade is not present. You're here alone, with yourself and you must look deep within yourself and ask yourself one question: Will you ever be able to really accept who you are individually or will you forever have to be somebody else, your brother?"

It is that night that we got our national name, Yisrael, explained Jacobson. It is a pivotal moment in Jewish history. It is the moment when Yaakov realized how wounded he'd become "because of his inability to truly make peace with himself." When the brothers met the next day, they didn't fight because, as Jacobson explained, once Yaakov could love himself, then Esau could respect and trust him too.

Jacobson paraphrased Rav Avraham Yitzchak Kook, the first Ashkenazi chief rabbi of British Mandate Palestine, who said that the reason Jews continue getting the spotlight is because we stutter our message. "What they heard at Mount Sinai was so powerful, it was so deep, they are scared of it so they always try to camouflage it, dilute it, neutralize it and minimize it and yet the world senses a tremendous power there and says, 'Nu?' but the Jew stutters to make it sound more civil and not too Jewish."

Jacobson ended with a metaphor. He said that the global positioning system (GPS) always recalculates, as long as it knows where you are and what your destination is. "So in our long journey, we also have the GPS: God's positioning system. And we often wander. We wander around, disguising ourselves like Esau in order to get somebody else's blessings." But Jacobson said that as long as we're honest about where we are and what our destination is, "then somebody – God, our souls – helps us recalculate and find our destination, find our path."

The lecture took place at St. George's because it's one of the locations for the Snider Kollel Youth Clubs. These are clubs run by the Kollel in non-Jewish high schools around the Metro Vancouver area. They are facilitated by Rivki Yeshayahu, who guides participants through discussions and debates on moral and ethical topics. The clubs, which this past year were assisted by Jonathan Hirsch, are open to any of the schools' students.

The goals, said Yeshayahu, are to bring a Jewish community to the Jewish students and to remove ignorance from the general population about Jews, ignorance that can lead to anti-Semitism. It's an opportunity for the approximately 150 students to discuss areas of life that aren't dealt with in schools, said Yeshayahu. There are plans to expand the program to other schools next year.

There was a short question and answer period following Jacobson's remarks. From the many laugh-out-loud moments throughout the hour-plus talk and the standing ovation at the end, it seems that this speaker really entertained the audience.

You can check out Jacobson's website at theyeshiva.net.

Deena Levenstein is a freelance writer from Toronto, Jerusalem and now Vancouver. You can visit her blog at deenascreations.com.

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