Parenthood at centre

CYNTHIA RAMSAY

Filmmaker Alan Goldman described his most recent documentary, Who the Jew Are You?, as "a kind of a love letter to my son and to Judaism."

Goldman will be in attendance when his film screens at the DOXA Documentary Film Festival this coming Monday night. He will no doubt face some interesting questions, as Who the Jew Are You? explores some controversial – and very personal – issues surrounding Judaism and what it means to be Jewish.

The film focuses on Goldman and his family, beginning with the tough decision about whether to circumcise his son, even though, technically, Sacha isn't Jewish because his mother is non-Jewish.

"The reality is," says Goldman in the documentary, "I didn't want him to not have the opportunity to participate fully in Jewish life, if that's what he chose to want."

This lifecycle event spurs Goldman to try and figure out Judaism's relevance in his own life and his documentary spans a couple of years. He speaks with a wide range of people, from Lubavitchers in Crown Heights, N.Y., and a N.Y. lesbian couple whose adopted Chinese daughter is having a bat mitzvah, to L.A. musicians who make fun of Jewish stereotypes in some of their songs and family members, including his grandfather, who is an atheist. One of the interviewees is Rabbi Shmuel Yeshayahu of Ohel Ya'akov Community Kollel.

"Initially, I did not want to make a film about myself and my family," Goldman told the Independent in an e-mail interview. "I wanted to make a film about a group of Jews in northern California that was getting a lot of attention in the late '90s for being innovative and progressive. They were known as Generation J. They had embodied a Judaism that was hip and cool. I wanted what they had.

"But when my son was born, the focus of the film changed," he said. "I started thinking about my own relationship with Judaism. I had felt guilty and frustrated and unhappy about what Judaism meant to me. I was living in a home where we had a Christmas tree and it made me uncomfortable. But when my son came into the world, I kind of woke up and realized that I had to do something. I thought that maybe if I started recording my trials and tribulations, it would force me to confront some serious issues that my son and I would face.

"It turns out that there are many people in interfaith marriages," continued Goldman. "I am hoping that the film will provide them with some insight they can use in their own lives."

For most Jews, the ideal is to marry someone Jewish who they love, but sometimes there is a choice between marrying for love or for religion. About whether he thought that marrying for love, even if to a non-Jew, was worth the challenges an interfaith relationship poses, Goldman said, "Boy that is a tough question." One of his sisters is an Orthodox Jew and he said, "She explained to me how she meets and dates men. They cannot touch and can only consummate their love once they are married. This is her world but not mine.

"Love for me is more powerful than my religious orientation. So, for me, it was worth it. It seems to me that the Jewish world is going to have to try and embrace many of the Jews who find themselves in my situation. Maybe if they do a better job of reaching out to us, we will work harder at keeping our Jewish identities and passing them on to our children."

Though not religious, Goldman believes Judaism has a lot to offer.

"I will always have a connection with Judaism," he said. "I think we Jews have an important role to play in the world around us. We have a rich heritage and strong moral compasses and a sense of social justice. That is what kind of Jew I am and strive to be."

He concluded, "I have decided to order a la carte off the Jewish menu. This might not be OK for other Jews, but it is OK for me. I will continue my journey into the Jewish world. I am proud to be a Jew."

Terror attack survivor

On March 4, 1996, Maytal Wax was critically injured in a suicide bombing outside the Dizengoff Centre in Tel Aviv – her left leg had to be amputated from mid-thigh, her right leg was crushed, she had burns all over her body and internal injuries. Her younger brother, Assaf, was killed instantly. In all, 13 people were murdered in the attack.

Three months after the bombing, filmmaker Yael Kipper began to document Maytal's rehabilitation and the young woman's efforts to cope with her new body, her new life and her brother's murder. In Maytal (1997), Kipper also focuses on Maytal's husband, Steve, and what he went through. Seeing the couple in happier times, in the form of family videos and pictures, really emphasizes the deep psychological and physical wounds with which such attacks scar their victims.

Kipper's Shining Stars (2008) begins nine years later. Maytal has long since separated from Steve and she is undergoing fertility treatments to have a baby as a single parent. She endures more than 10 procedures and the times in the hospital trigger painful memories of the bombing for her and her father.

Shining Stars is more difficult to watch than Maytal. It's slower in pace and the absolute focus on Maytal and her efforts to have a child reveals the complexities – and not all of them pleasant – of Maytal's personality. But it's truly amazing how much determination this woman possesses and how she has not only survived and adapted to her life with disabilities but, from tragedy, she literally creates life.

Details of the festival

DOXA runs from May 22 to May 31, with Shining Stars and Maytal on Sunday, May 24, 4 p.m., at Pacific Cinémathèque and Who the Jew Are You? at Vancity Theatre May 25, 7 p.m. There are many other films that will interest the Jewish community in particular.

Tickets are $15 for the opening night film, Inside Hana's Suitcase, or $35 for the opening film with the party that follows at the Vancouver Art Gallery. For the other screenings, single tickets are $10 (plus a one-time $2 membership) and a festival pass (excluding opening night) is $125 (includes $2 membership).

Tickets are available at Biz Books, 302 West Cordova St.; cash-only tickets can be purchased at Bibliophile Bookshop, 2010 Commercial Dr., and Videomatica, 1855 West 4th Ave. For more information, visit www.doxafestival.ca.

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