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March 1, 2013
It’s time to clean up!
Being able to part with possessions is healthy.
VICKY TOBIANAH
I’ve never thought of myself as a hoarder. I keep souvenirs, old birthday cards and thank-you letters, some hand-painted “art” I made in kindergarten and a few other knick knacks I’ve picked up along the way. If you would’ve asked me a few months ago, I would have told you that I could easily give everything away. It’s just stuff, after all. Why would it be hard to part with?
That’s all changed. It was the night before moving day, and I found myself knee deep in birthday cards, plane letters (a proud child of the ’90s), even uncashed cheques (my sister insisted we save them for later). Apparently, I wasn’t a very good speller, I discovered from a letter I wrote my mom apologizing for “not listening bitter” – yet I tell my friends I was born with a pen in my hand, no spell check needed. I tried to throw out some of the stuff, really, but what if, one day, my future daughter asks me for that picture of an ice cream cone that my mom and I (read: mostly my mom) made together? I can’t deny my future children their birthright. So I didn’t throw them out.
There I was, with 10 plastic boxes of my old stuff in my new house. I’m not alone. It’s estimated that about one million Canadians classify as hoarders. That only includes extreme cases, however, when you have so many belongings that you can barely see your floor. If you include people like me, who maybe don’t hoard, but – let’s put it gently – are reluctant to part with some possessions … so they pack up those precious items in boxes piled high in the basement … the numbers increase exponentially.
In fact, it’s become such a serious issue that Ryerson University researchers in Toronto are conducting the first study to see how families of hoarders enable their actions, in the wake of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders’ decision to reclassify hoarding as its own mental illness, rather than as a component of obsessive compulsive disorder, as it was previously grouped.
Being attached to your possessions is a serious problem, not merely something about which to joke. In just the past year, there were three fires caused by hoarders in Toronto Community Housing units, and more across the country. Besides the possibility of putting yourself in harm’s way, hoarding can be the source of financial strain: people who can’t let go of their possessions will never sell the things they don’t use anymore, and they’ll continue to purchase new items, adding to their uncontrollable pile of useless trinkets – and a big, fat pile of debt.
Now, you might be thinking it’s not an issue if you’re not a “true hoarder” but, the fact is, piling things up in the corners of your house can easily escalate into a big (and messy) problem. So why do people get so attached to their possessions?
According to marketing professors who studied the phenomenon, people who can’t say goodbye to their possessions all have one thing in common: loneliness. Their study, published in the Journal of Consumer Research, specifically looked at people who are attached to material possessions, like cars, computers, bicycles and guns. And they say it’s a catch-22: as you find yourself at a lonely time in your life, you end up withdrawing socially, leaving yourself with nothing more than your possessions on which to rely. Eventually, having possessions around that you “love” fills the void in your life, discouraging you from getting back in the social scene.
So, how can you learn to love and leave your possessions and brace yourself for a spring cleanup? Researchers recommend that you deal with the heart of the issue: the reason why you get attached to material objects in the first place. You might find it helpful to discuss the issue with a psychologist, or even bring the subject into the open with family and friends.
Next, make a game plan: don’t try to get rid of everything or you’ll likely regret it and find yourself running after the garbage truck to retrieve it all. Instead, make a list of objects you use, objects that have sentimental value and objects that haven’t been used in six months or longer. Go through that third category and sell, donate, recycle, give or throw away at least half of it. Make a promise to do this once a year (twice, if you’re ready for the challenge). Finally, make a list of items that you routinely buy but don’t need. Maybe you love new books that you never read or pillows that you don’t use. Whatever it is, by writing it down, you’ll become aware of what you’re doing and you’ll be motivated to prevent it from happening again.
Vicky Tobianah is a freelance writer and editor based in Toronto and a recent McGill University graduate. Connect with her on Twitter, @vicktob, or by e-mail to [email protected].
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