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December 25, 2009
Keep cards and letters coming!
No matter what else happens at camp, receiving mail from a loved one is a highpoint.
PEARL SALKIN
While the basics of life are food, clothing and shelter, there is something else that we need to keep us going – communication. Without a way to interact with others, we would all go batty. And, since 21st-century life depends so heavily on the high-tech tools and toys we employ to constantly keep in touch, kids who go off to a residential camp can feel especially cut off from their known world and out of their personal comfort zone.
What do younger, more novice campers have to contend with? Separation anxiety, formerly known as homesickness. It’s usually just temporary and most kids get through it without any scarring and with a great sense of newfound maturity and independence.
What do older kids suffer from? High-tech, cold turkey withdrawal pangs. Kids are so used to e-mailing, instant messaging, talking on a cellphone and texting that many actually experience a short spell of physical and psychological symptoms associated with the sudden removal of objects and actions that they have become virtually addicted to. With lots of engaging activities and opportunities to socialize with camp friends, this, too, passes.
When we think of letters to and from camp, many of us who are old enough to remember the 1960s, and aficionados of novelty songs are reminded of Alan Sherman’s hit tune, “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh (A Letter from Camp).” That song started out with a hilarious description of the scary scene encountered by a camper at fictional Camp Granada. But, the author had to eat those initial gloom-and-doom words when conditions changed and the camper suddenly discovered the joys of summer camp. So, if your child somewhat exaggerates the Spartan living conditions at camp or berates the food in the first letter you get, don’t be alarmed.
Policies regarding communicating with kids and camp officials vary widely. Questions like “Should we allow campers to phone home?” and “Should we prohibit parents from sending packages to their kids?” are among the multitude of issues that each camp must address. For nonprofits, guidance is offered by organizations such as the Foundation for Jewish Camp and the Grinspoon Institute for Jewish Philanthropy.
Leah Levi, registrar at Camp Miriam in British Columbia, attended the Grinspoon Institute’s seventh camp conference, called Embracing Abundance, in Massachusetts in November 2008, and came away with lots of information and insights.
“As part of a workshop with people from all kinds of Jewish camps, I was with some people to discuss technology and campers. No camps allow cellphones and one camp doesn’t even allow cameras. They have a bunch of cameras, which are owned by the camp and used by the campers, but the staff download the pictures and put up what they want the public to see. There are issues of inappropriate pictures getting up on Facebook, etc., which can ruin a camp. For me, it was interesting to see how others are handling it,” she said.
Levi also explained how Camp Miriam maintains lines of communication between camp and family. “We do the usual: pictures on the website and I send a weekly e-mail to the parents, usually Friday afternoon before Shabbat, letting them know what the program has been for the previous week. We encourage snail mail, but when a family lives far away or is traveling abroad, we will accept e-mails from parents. Also, when I see a younger child is very disappointed about not getting mail, I ask the parents to e-mail them.”
While Camp Miriam does allow packages from home, there are restrictions, like no nuts. Since it has a kupa, literally cash register in Hebrew, but meaning a cooperative fund, kids are able to pool their pocket money and then make a democratic decision on how to spend it on treats or whatever they choose.
Dealing with parents
Parents can also become stressed by separation and worry about how their kids are adjusting to camp life. How this concern can be handled, how important it is to keep the lines of communication open between camp and family, and how much kids value those letters from home were subtopics tackled by Levi.
“If a parent is worried, they call or e-mail me and I give them a report. Staff call all parents of kids under 12 years of age within the first few days of the session and any parents of older kids, if they request a call. Sometimes the parents of older kids want to hear from staff if the kid is coming for the first time. I can tell you, as the person who gives out the mail, that every kid wants mail – even the older ones,” said Levi, referring to campers in grades 8 and 9.
Lesley Jacob, administrator at Camp Massad in Manitoba, explained her camp’s communication policies, which include encouraging kids and parents to write.
“We recommend that parents write letters before their kids have even left for camp to ensure they get regular mail. We only allow parents from out of town to e-mail the kids, and we include these e-mails in daily mail. Most of the out-of town kids respond by letters. We have a new website now, and are doing more with it. Pictures are available on our site while children are at camp. Parents’ only restriction is that they cannot send food to camp. This is for two reasons; the main reason is allergies and the second, kosher.”
On a personal note
I received so much positive feedback from my niece after I wrote to her three sons at a specialty sports camp last summer. The boys were too busy to write back to me, but they told their mother how great it was to get so much mail.
My first communication was through handwritten messages inside blank greeting cards with beach scenes on the front (to remind them of their last visit to my seaside home). For the next batch I wrote, I used a word-processing program and inserted photo images of my pet parakeet hiding in my artificial tree and other whimsical happenings around the house. Since the boys were not at a Jewish camp, I sprinkled some touches of Yiddishkeit in my mail, to reinforce that Jewish connection.
Camp is a great place for learning about nature, developing a sense of independence, building relationships, accomplishing personal and group goals ... lots of positive and powerful things. Days and nights at camp are packed with stimulating programming, loaded with opportunities to learn, explore and mature, and full of precious, unplanned moments that will become priceless memories. But no matter how exhilarated a camper feels after that first trip across a lake over a zipline or how happy a kid becomes when he is a winner in camp-wide Maccabiah games, receiving a letter from a loved one is always a highpoint.
So, parents, uncles, bubbes – write, write, write!
Pearl Salkin is a freelance writer from Daytona Beach, Fla.
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