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August 22, 2008
Raising good online citizens
Talk to your kids about the serious impacts of Internet bullying.
ADAM GELMON
Summer is coming to an end, and families all over are making the transition from lazy days by the lake to the impending bustle of September. Life in July and August is so different from the rest of the year, and while most kids make the transition quite smoothly, it can still be a bit of a shock to the system. With all of the changes the fall months bring comes more time in front of the computer, and so it seems a good time to re-examine the realities that come with this.
The computer and Internet are as much a part of our students' academic lives as textbooks. Individual schools and districts are constantly reassessing and retooling their Internet safety policies to help ensure that kids are getting the technological education that they need, while at the same time creating safety measures and educational material to keep kids safe while they are using computers in school.
The reality is, however, that while schools are doing everything they can to keep kids safe and to promote healthy and honest use of technology, there is still work to be done, especially when kids use the Internet outside of school.
A major challenge around Internet safety for kids stems from the fact that technology is changing at such a fast pace that it can be difficult for parents and educators to keep current in order to understand the good and possible harm that can come from its ever-expanding use. The start of the school year seems the perfect time to refresh as well as learn how to help our kids embrace technology and to help ensure that they develop the skills to use these tools in a way that is constructive and well-balanced. This can really only come from talking with our children on a regular basis about what it means to be a good citizen of the World Wide Web and to work together to take a critical look at what applications they are using.
By now, social networking websites like Facebook or communication tools like instant messaging have become part of most of our kids' lives. These applications allow for unprecedented levels of communicating with anyone and can be a fun way to share with friends and loved ones. Unfortunately, as much as these applications are used, very few people are fully aware of some of their potentially negative ramifications.
Most students use these sites to connect with their friends, but another byproduct of being able to connect with others in such an easy and impersonal way – from the comfort of home and with just a few keystrokes – is the alarming increase in incidences of cyber bullying. Although it goes without saying that intentional attacks on others over the Internet are cause for alarm and immediate intervention, another form of bullying comes in a much less intentional form yet is no less harmful.
Kids (and some adults too) use Facebook to communicate private messages with their friends, yet forget that most things that are posted are not as private as they may first appear. Messages sent between friends can be sent to others and it can take very little time before a private conversation between two people, which at first seemed innocuous, takes on new legs at it is passed along to others. Anything negative posted about someone else has the potential to do a lot of damage, whether it was intended to or not.
Some things to discuss with your kids:
• Anything posted on the Internet, or any e-mails that are written can become public quite quickly. So, if you wouldn't say it in public, don't post it on the web.
• Bullying or attacking someone else over the Internet is just as harmful as doing it in person. In fact, it can be even more harmful because of how easily it can spread, and how permanent it is. Posting something hurtful about someone else is a form of bullying.
• You are accountable for anything you post on the web.
• School districts and the legal system are increasing the punitive measures taken against students who are using websites to hurt others. We are seeing a nation-wide increase in the number of kids getting into trouble for things they did online.
• Pay special attention before joining or accepting invitations to join groups on Facebook. You may not want to be associated with groups that include many other people you don't know and whose intentions may not reflect your own.
The solution, though, is not to ban the use of the Internet. Kids need to understand the true power of the Internet and its potential pitfalls. Kids should gradually earn the right to use these tools while being supervised and taught responsible use from the adults in their lives. We would be mistaken to think that keeping kids off the Internet completely is the only way to protect them. Like any other tool, kids need to be empowered with the ability to make good choices and to gain privileges as they mature and prove that they can use the Internet in a responsible manner that enhances their lives rather than putting themselves and others at risk.
Adam Gelmon is a Vancouver freelance writer and teacher at Vancouver Talmud Torah.
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