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August 1, 2003
Healthy relationships
Shape a self that you love in order to love others.
NORMAN FARELL SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH BULLETIN
Mentsh is a Yiddish expression with such power that it was adopted
into the English language. Uniquely, it connotes a person admired,
respected and trusted for ethics, fairness and nobility. The word
conveys supreme ideals of character and, with its roots in Torah
wisdom, the concept challenges every Jewish person.
Chabad of Richmond's Rabbi Yechiel Baitelman recently led a course
to elicit the true mentsh in each participant. Soul Power –
Shedding New Light on Self and Relationships was an eight-week program,
part of a personal development series offered by the Jewish Learning
Institute (JLI). JLI is an international centre for adult Jewish
studies. Baitelman directs its British Columbia affiliate, one of
four in Canada.
According to the rabbi, "Virtues are part of everyone's character
but are revealed through dedicated effort. JLI studies assist in
the near endless journey of self-discovery. When inner tranquillity
develops, we enhance relationships and enrich our lives enormously."
Soul Power explores – through the eyes of Jewish tradition
– the search for purpose and the universal need for ethical
standards. Examining spiritual nature in detail, classes teach joyful
living through positive change.
"This begins with an honest accounting," said Baitelman.
"Weigh each virtue and each weakness, as a craftsman does before
altering a fine instrument. Then, one can fix defects and reinforce
the parts already sound. Shaping selves that we truly love, we become
capable of absolute devotion to others."
In many ways, home life is the prime beneficiary of unconditional
love. Peace on the home front –shalom bayit – is
among the most precious of all values in Jewish life. And the essential
principles of family harmony serve us in building healthy relationships
elsewhere.
The course explores the single soul of husband and wife. It examines
ideals in friendship and concludes by discussing global responsibility
and how an individual's expression of Jewish values can impact the
world at large. In the words of Rebbe Menachem Schneerson, "Jewish
souls are ready to be lit; all that remains is the need for lamplighters."
JLI classes are conducted weekly, typically with about 20 participants.
Following the concluding session of Soul Power, a few individuals
remained to discuss their experience. René Ragetli, a young
schoolteacher, attended with his friend Janet Stark.
"We wanted to learn together about traditions that will inspire
our relationship," he said. "This was a positive experience,
yet it ignited some troubling discomfort. Honest internal inquiry
is daunting. We confront elements of ourselves that are easier to
ignore."
Helen Aqua, a New Westminster mother of teenagers says her attendance
is part of a maturing process that provokes examination of her own
cultural roots.
"I enjoy learning and I found the material absorbing. It's
in the vernacular, so easy to understand. Now, I feel better prepared
to think about and discuss these issues with others," said
Aqua.
During a debate on mentoring, Baitelman talked of a father who sought
counsel from the Rebbe about a misbehaving child. He was told, "Look
upon your son as a grandfather. Let that influence your actions
and go do what is right." The Rebbe wanted the man to think
about what the boy would become and how today's teachings would
affect many lives in the future.
The substantial guidebook that comes with the course offers many
readings. One is about Aaron Feuerstein, Massachusetts patriarch
of Malden Mills, founded by his grandfather. In 1995, the business
was ravaged by fire. Feuerstein told 3,000 employees that, because
they were the real assets of the company, he was keeping all of
them on the payroll. Within months, the mills were rebuilt and people
were sent back to work. Not incidentally, production efficiency
soared and the story of a businessman applying religious ethics
captured the attention of international media.
The Soul Power guidebook quotes Feuerstein when he spoke to an MIT
audience about the influence of his grandfather and his practice
of treating employees according to the advice in Deuteronomy (24:
14-15).
"I learned a responsibility to the worker," Feuerstein
said. "I have an equal responsibility to the community. It
would have been unconscionable to put 3,000 people on the streets
and deliver a deathblow to the cities of Lawrence and Methuen."
It was a remarkable illustration of the Rebbe's inspiration. Long
ago, a man taught a lesson powerful in the ears of a child. Decades
later, that idea impacted countless lives, not simply among the
Malden Mills employees, or even their many family members. Ultimately,
the message touched millions as an example of one person's ethical
commitment to society. The Malden Mills case is studied today in
nearly every business school.
In its continuing courses, the Jewish Learning Institute provides
comprehensive textbooks, streamlined curriculums and presentations
prepared by international experts in traditional learning. Topics
and materials focus on intelligent answers to intelligent questions.
By popular demand, Baitelman is teaching Soul Power again during
the summer of 2003. Other courses will resume in the autumn.
The JLI is supported in British Columbia by Lubavitch B.C. with
assistance from the Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver. For
more information, contact Baitelman at 604-277-6427 or visit www.chabadrichmond.com.
Norman Farell is a Vancouver freelance writer.
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